#its 1:30 am i should be so very asleep but this just hit me while drawing sad jimmy bc his time ran out and i was like

[enderwoah]

ok as much as i love everyone calling limited life a crackfic (because it is; it is the crackfic of the life series), y'all better be aware that it's still crack treated seriously because i haven't seen NOBODY talking about how absolutely heartbreaking the permadeaths in this series are going to be.

cause the thing about the other series is that usually, people's final deaths were sudden. they were in the heat of battle, or they were due to a trap, or they were because of a betrayal; whatever it was, people didn't see them coming, and when they did, they were always able to fight back against it. there was a looming threat of death, of course, it's the life series, but it was due to the fact that there could only be one man left standing. technically, they could have just lived together in peace and harmony and kumbaya for the rest of forever instead of trying to win.

in limited life, that simply isn't an option (not like anyone would have taken it anyways). people will always know that their deaths are coming; there's a timer in the corner literally telling them when it will happen.

this means that deaths in limited life will be one of two things: solemn acceptance (perhaps surrounded by a team, holding hands, comforting pats on the back and teary goodbyes, or perhaps in the middle of the woods or underground, or trapped in an abandoned base with no-one around to hear them cry out for more time, just a few more minutes; or maybe they rest against a tree and close their eyes and heave a sigh of relief because finally, finally the ticking will be gone and they will be stable once again)

or wild desperation (running back and forth across the server, searching for someone, anyone to pick off, to drag down in their place so the ticking can slow and they can breathe again; diving into the middle of a battle they know they will lose because they will not let their fate be wrangled by the hands of unseen things, that they will die to a blade or nothing else, and perhaps they will be able to catch a kill or two and snatch back those precious few minutes of time; knees scraping against stone or digging into wet dirt or dry sand or stone, fingers dug into the fabric of their teammate as they beg, plead, wail, grovel at their feet, just one kill, just thirty more minutes, they don't want to go yet they can't go, and their teammate wanting to allow them so badly but the ticking in their ears and that fear of death in their blood stopping them because they don't want to go yet either)

do you see the vision. do you guys see what we're going to have to deal with. they baited you with 'haha heehee they have many lives...!!' the angst is just delayed. it's going to be worse than ever.

[bananayuyu]

Cabin Fever [part 2]

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: fluff and smut

Word count: 9.7k

Summary: The third day of your trip brings a storm, and even more cramps. You try to navigate the day the best you can, but really you just need to be taken care of, in the way it matters most.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, period sex, use of a condom, reader has really bad cramps again, some mxm (Seonghwa and Hongjoong)

A/n: I have had such a fun time writing this part, thank you all for the response on part 1! I am falling in love with this cozy world and wish I could live in it for real. Thank you so much to the anon who requested a part 2! I hope you all enjoy <3

Taglist: @pautiny27 @kierraperkins3 @yoonjikim @luvbit3z @pancake-freckle

I'm definitely planning on continuing the series for a while so if you want to be tagged for upcoming parts, let me know!

You can read part 3 here!

You stretch over to find your phone, unhooking it from its charging cable. The light is dim through the window, the room looks almost hazy. Squinting at the screen, you see a missed text from Seonghwa asking if you're doing okay, sent an hour ago.

"It's almost 11:30, we should really get up," you yawn, poking Yunho in the ribs to get his attention. He has once again wrapped himself around you tightly, face buried in your hair, and you're not sure if he's even awake.

"No," he groans, his voice low and gravely. It send a shudder through you, and all of the feelings from last night surface again. You can already feel the pains starting in your lower abdomen, the muscles cramping. You wish it could be night already and he could be making you feel good again.

"We can't just stay in here all day," you say, much as you sort of want to. But you also don't want to waste a day of your time with all of your other friends. Yunho just groans, not wanting to agree with you but knowing you're right. He's just so asleep still, so in the haze of sleeping next to you. He really just wants to stay like this, forever.

"Okay, well, I really have to pee," you say, giggling, peeling yourself off of him. He lets out a small sound of disappointment but doesn't stop you. You turn around and see his tousled hair, his puffy, sleepy eyes. You lean down and place a quick kiss on his temple before making your way to the bathroom, another pad in hand.

The cramps hit you again when you're sat on the toilet, and you double over, feeling light-headed. It doesn't seem like you're bleeding quite as hard as yesterday but you still feel awful, despite all of the restful sleep you got. You gingerly clean yourself up, holding onto the counter as you stand, pausing for a moment so you don't pass out. You sigh, trying not to feel the frustration. But it's hard not to.

When you open the door you are met with Yunho, his messy hair now covered up by his hoodie, his eyes still very sleepy.

"Sorry for taking so long," you say, assuming he really needed to pee. You aren't paying attention, the cramps overwhelming you.

"Hey, look," he says as you start walking past. When you do finally look back you see that he's brought you pain meds and a glass of water. Your face softens immediately.

"Oh, thank you," you say, taking them immediately.

"Are they bad today?" he asks, a hand on your cheek. You just nod. "Go lay down then."

"I wanna hang out with everyone, though," you pout, looking at the floor.

"Well, go lay in the living room then," he suggests.

"Okay," you mumble, heading that way with your glass of water in hand. He watches you walk away, an obvious discomfort and weakness in your body, and it makes his chest hurt. When you were friends in high school he really only saw you on your good days, when you were feeling okay. It wasn't until living with you that he really saw the worst of everything, the truth of your health issues. You never spoke of them often, never truly explained it to him. Living together had forced you to, and when he showed himself to be genuinely good at caring for you, you'd let him in a bit more. He knew you didn't like the idea of people seeing you at your sickest. He never gave much thought to the idea when he was younger, that some people's bodies are wracked with issues from the start, that they never get to know what it's like to be able to rely on your body to carry you through everything. You were so young; though you were the same age as most of the rest of the friend group, you'd always been seen as the baby. He certainly always thought of you as small, in need of protection. He didn't want to tell you that, because he knew you'd hate the idea. It didn't help that you were smarter than most of them, when it came to the practical and academic aspects of life. You were far more mature in many ways. But they had the healthy bodies; they were the ones who were able to move out at eighteen, to become financially independent. It would take you many more years, and two very supportive friends to live with you, before you could move out.

When you make it to the living room you plop down next to Ari and San, snuggling under a blanket. The cabin was colder than you expected, the sky outside still dark.

"Has it been like that all morning?" you ask Ari, staring out the window.

"It was actually raining for a while earlier, it just stopped maybe thirty minutes ago."

"Oh really? No wonder I slept in so long," you reply, sighing into the warmth of your blanket.

"Are you doing okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, but I still feel like crap," you say, frowning. Sipping your water you try to relax, try to get your mind away from how terrible your lower abdomen feels.

"Do you need any pain meds?" she asks you, her face showing obvious concern. Even San is turned towards you and looking worried.

"No, no, I just took some. Thank you though," you respond, squeezing her hand. "I should probably eat something though, I'm starving."

"I think Seonghwa and Hongjoong are making some lunch, I'll go get you some," San replies, standing up.

"Oh, you don't have to," you start, taken aback by the kindness of this almost total stranger. But he walks that way anyway, not stopping at your words.

"He's so freaking nice, what the hell," you say to Ari.

"I know," she laughs, shaking her head. "I almost can't believe it's real sometimes."

"Men just aren't usually like that," you say, and right then Yunho crosses the room, making brief eye contact with you. He heads towards the kitchen, looking like his mind is set on something.

"The guys in our friend group are," she replies.

"Well, that's true. I guess I should say, straight men aren't usually like that, especially if they aren't romantically interested in you," you clarify. "At least not in my experience in the world, and I barely interact with men or go out in public."

"I know, the amount of horrifying behavior I saw at college is crazy. And even now still at my work. I know so many people tried to warn me to be careful around men when I was growing up, but I did not realize just how scary it would be to be in the adult world and have a uterus," she replies. She looks at you, earnestly; how nice it is to have another girl in your group, who understands what it is to exist in the world in your bodies.

"Uteruses should be banned," you say, placing a hand on your stomach. "This thing needs to get the hell out of my body."

Ari laughs, the bright sound raising your spirits. "I would have taken it out for you myself years ago, if I could," she laughs, resting her head on your shoulder.

"What just, reached up inside and like, pulled it out?" you laugh.

"Girl, your mind goes to the strangest places. Now I can't get that visual out of my head," she laughs, a hand coming to rest over her eyes.

"I wish I could do it myself," you reply, "just like-" you reach your hand down and spread your legs, miming the action; you both break into giggles.

"What was that?" Yunho asks as he sits down next to you, a cup of tea in hand. He holds it out towards you, careful to hand you the handle so you don't burn your hands.

"Y/n just being her usual self," Ari replied, still laughing. Yunho just looked confused, sipping at his own cup of coffee.

"I was showing her how I'd remove my uterus, if I could. I wish someone could just reach up in there and take it out," you clarify.

"You should make Yunho do it, he's got big hands," she says.

"Ari!" you shriek, crumpling into a heap of laughter with her. Yunho's ears go red, and he clears his throat to try to calm himself.

"You two are something else," he says, turning away, looking for anyone else to make conversation with.

"Wait, did Yunho make you that cup of tea?" Ari asked you, and at the mention of his name his attention stayed put.

"Yeah," you reply, not sure why she's interested. "He makes me and Hwa tea and coffee like all the time."

"That's sweet. See, we're so lucky to have these boys. He's the perfect example of a straight man who has no romantic interest in you, but still takes care of you."

You know she means it earnestly, from the way a small smile creeps onto her lips, making her eyes crinkle at the corners. But you and Yunho both stop dead in your tracks, your throats simultaneously going dry.

"Yeah, true," you say, trying to be normal. Like this morning, when Seonghwa found you in bed together. The words come out rough and you try to swallow, but it hurts and your eyes squeeze shut for a moment. You take another sip of your tea, trying to appear calm.

"What, Yunho, did I say something weird?" Ari asks, and you look over to see his stony face, his eyes looking almost distant. Something about it makes your heart drop, for a moment, and you don't know why. Something in you begs for him to act normal too, but you realize there's no point. No point in pretending like nothing happened, even if you don't know what it means.

"I need to tell you something," you whisper to Ari, your face just inches from her ear. She leans even closer, clearly excited by your tone. You drop your volume even lower, putting your hand over your mouth to block the sound from going anywhere else. "Last night he like, fingered me."

"What?!" she asks in a whisper, her eyes going wide with excitement.

"Shh, please keep your face normal," you beg her, knowing that isn't possibly going to happen. But you don't want everyone to find out this very second, you'd like it to stay between the two of you. Ari does her best to still her face, knowing you don't want to draw attention. At least it's fairly normal, for the two of you to share secrets. The boys have always respected when you two say something is just for your ears.

"Yeah I was like, hurting last night and he like, made me feel better," you whisper, you both breaking out into giggles.

"Girl," she says, clearly wanting you to continue.

"I'll tell you everything once there's not like twenty people in the room with us," you say, a goofy smile not leaving your face.

"Aww," she says poking your cheek, and you swat her hand away, jokingly rolling your eyes. Ari keeps looking between the two of you, observing the way his body seems drawn towards you even as he sits a bit away, his legs stretching out to meet yours. She has so many questions, seeing as you'd never mentioned having a crush on him. His crush on you had been obvious to her for a while, but she'd never really mentioned it. It always seemed that people in the group had crushes from time to time, due to everyone's closeness. But sometimes they passed, sometimes they came to nothing. It was one of the reasons your group of friends had stayed close for so long; no one really forced closeness or forced information out of one another. Sometimes she felt like it made you less close than you could be. But she knew it also meant no one felt stepped on or smothered.

***

After lunch was served the weather had cleared a bit, and Jongho suggested that everyone play a game of basketball out on the small court to the south of the cabin. Not one of you had plans for the day, and with the way the weather was behaving that was definitely a good thing. You and Ari laid on the couch together, barely overhearing the conversation unfolding. You knew even if you wanted to you couldn't go and play, and the warmth of the couch was a lifesaver against the damp coolness in the air. The rain was not unusual for the time of year, but you swore it never had been this cold during your cabin trips.

"Will you stay inside with me?" you asked her.

"Of course. I wouldn't leave you alone in here. Also, I don't really feel like getting hurt today. You know how competitive they all get," she laughs, holding up her arm and showing you a large cut on the underside.

"My god, what's that from?" you ask.

"Wooyoung pushed me when we were playing waterpolo by the falls, and I scraped my arm on one of the rocks."

"Of course it was him," you chuckle, taking a closer look. "Did you wash it out yesterday?"

"It's not really that deep, but yeah. I'm sure it'll heal quick. I just really don't feel like playing basketball on a wet, slick court."

"And it's so cold, I don't know why they feel like going outside."

"It's not that cold," she says, looking at you confused.

"Wait, really?" you ask. She shakes her head. "Ok well for some reason, I'm freezing."

"One sec," she says, getting up and taking a blanket from the other side of the bed. "Y/n is cold," she says to the group, pointing to you all curled up in your one blanket. Everyone grabs their remaining blankets and one by one, layer them on you.

"This is too much," you whine, but you can't deny you like the attention. You really appreciate the way they all joke around with you; it always makes you feel better.

When all of the boys headed out to play, you finally got a chance to tell Ari everything.

"Your periods are still that bad?" Ari asks you when you tell her how you were feeling the previous night. "You hardly ever mention it anymore."

"It's just, so normal at this point. I guess. I don't know, you know it isn't fun to talk about. Plus this one really has been extra bad. I haven't had one this bad in a while," you respond.

"Well I'm glad he was there to comfort you. You know you could have told everyone how you were feeling yesterday. You didn't have to pretend like you were fine at dinner."

"I don't know, Wooyoung's cousins are here and so is San, I don't really know any of them," you say.

"Let me assure you, San would not care. And I doubt Woo's cousins would either, I mean we've been around them before, they seem very kind. He wouldn't bring them around you if he thought they'd be weird about something as simple as that. I know Woo acts like he doesn't give a shit about anything, but he really cares about you. I overheard him asking Seonghwa this morning how you've been doing," she replies. You look at her tenderly, thankful she shared it with you. As much as you wish Wooyoung would just ask you, you know it's not his way. It warms your heart to know he cares.

"So, how long have you liked Yunho then?" she asks you.

"Dude, I literally don't know. I don't even know what I feel right now," you sigh, shaking your head at her. "I mean, he was really just helping ease my cramps, cause I basically begged him too. And I get fucking horny on my period, I don't know." You put your head in your hands. "I don't even know what words were coming out of my mouth last night."

"So is it just a sexual thing then?" she asks.

"I'm assuming that's how he feels, I mean he's never said anything to the contrary."

"No, I mean for you," she clarifies.

"I.. I don't know. I don't hook up with people, but he's like, one of my best friends, I-" you cut yourself off with a groan, head spinning. "I'm gonna develop feeling for him and he's not gonna feel the same and we live together and it's gonna be a fucking mess," you blurt out, your mind racing out of control.

"Y/n, that man loves you," Ari says, squeezing your shoulder.

"I know Ari, I'm not saying he'd be an asshole about it. But it would still be so awkward for me, and if you love someone platonically that doesn't just change overni-"

"No, he's in love with you," she cuts you off.

"He's said those words to you?" you ask her, incredulous.

"No, but it's obvious to anyone with eyes," she says. You squint questioningly in her direction, feeling like she's just saying what she thinks you want to hear. "Dude I'm serious, Seonghwa has told me about it, the way he is around you. If he's not in love with you then I don't know what it could be."

"He's dated like multiple people since we've known him though, that doesn't make sense," you reply.

"Not since moving in with you," she says. "Has he ever brought any girls over to hang out with? Or to hook up?"

"No," you say, head still spinning.

"That's not because of like, a house rule or something, right?"

"No, we talked about it, we're all okay with bringing people over. Hwa brings over guys sometimes. Well he did when we first moved in, not really this past year."

"But Yunho never has?" she asks again.

You shake your head. "That doesn't mean anything, Ari. He's barely even spoken to me this morning, anyway. He doesn't seem like he's in love. Seems like normal Yunho to me."

"He brought you tea," she says, smirking.

"Oh my god, he always does that," you say, rolling your eyes and also smiling. "I- I don't know how to feel."

"Would you do it again?" she asks. You nod. "Do you like, really really want to do it again?" she continues, making you laugh.

"Yeah," you say, hiding your face in your hands.

"Well, at least you know that. Don't stress about it," she says. "It can just be a fun little thing, it doesn't have to be life changing."

You sigh, soaking in her words. You know what she's saying is absolutely right; it's the kind of advice you'd probably be giving her if the tables were turned. But something about your night with Yunho meaning so little doesn't sit right with you.

"Can you please not tell anyone, not even San? For right now, I don't know what Yunho wants to say," you plead.

"Of course, you don't have to worry about that. I don't share things with San just cause he's my boyfriend, I don't think that's fair to my friends," she responds, hugging you.

"I'm so thankful you're here," you say, sighing comfortingly into her embrace.

"Me too. I love them all but they can be a lot," she says, and you both chuckle. Tucked into your layers of blankets you feel warm and cozy, and your chest feels lighter having told someone about your previous night.

***

Close to 3pm, the storm rolls back in to the area; the winds pick up, the clouds darken, and suddenly rain is pouring down. It sounds like the roof of the cabin is being repeatedly pelted with golfballs, the dull sound surprisingly loud. Suddenly all of the boys are sprinting back inside, their wet shoes squeaking on the tile of the kitchen floor. All of them are thoroughly soaked, their hair sticking to their foreheads, clothes stuck to their bodies. They tumble in one after the other, Wooyoung the last to make it in, and you hear his scream all the way from outside. When they finally get inside they all start undressing, their clothes heavy and cold.

"Didn't realize we were staying at a strip club," Ari says, making you laugh. You know they're just uncomfortable, but you can't help but stare at Yunho as he disrobes, his light blue shirt dripping on him as he heaves it over his head. You don't really see him shirtless like this, even though you live together. He's not one for walking around like that. You'd forgotten how broad he really was, how strong his shoulders are. As he goes to ring out his shirt in the sink you see his tricep flex, and the smooth muscles of his back as well. He's tall and lanky, but you'd forgotten just how muscular he was too.

"You're kind of gawking, just so you know," Ari whispers in your ear, making you jump.

"Oh my god, I'm gross," you groan, burrowing your head in her shoulder.

"No not gross, not gross at all. Fuck, every time San is shirtless I want him to fuck me immediately." You glance over at Ari's boyfriend, already anticipating the muscles you're about to see. You could tell even when he was clothed how built he was.

"How often is at the gym?" you ask.

"Basically every day. He can like, easily pick me up and throw me around. And I'm not exactly the lightest person in the world."

"If that's not everyone's dream," you say, giggling.

"Can't Yunho carry you?" she asks.

"Yeah but I'm basically like a sickly little worm, it's not that hard. Even Hwa can lift me," you laugh,

"Okay, well, he can still lift you. And how big is your height difference?"

You just smile at her question, knowing you are blushing.

"God, if we aren't the most simple of women," she laughs.

"No no, I'll have you know I'm very full of logic and feminism and I do not care about muscles, or height, or anything of the sort. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought about how tall he is in comparison to me and gotten all hot and bothered about it," you joke, your blush having moved to your cheeks too.

"So you have thought about him like that!" she exclaims.

"Keep it down!" you chide, when you see Seonghwa shoot a look over at the two of you.

"Sorry, sorry," she laughs, pouting at you. "What are you looking at?" she says to Seonghwa, who rolls his eyes.

***

After the boys had changed and dried off, Wooyoung insisted that everyone watched a scary movie. You were all stuck inside, and everyone had already spent the morning talking and catching up.

"'It matches the vibe of the storm," he said. "It'll be so fun," he laughed, smirking in your direction. He knew how you couldn't handle jump scares and didn't like gore. He promised you the movie he'd selected didn't have either.

"It's more like, a psychological thriller, you know? It's really fun. Set in a cabin in the woods too."

"Okay, fine," you replied, hoping he was telling the truth.

He was, in fact, lying. You found that out about twenty minutes later.

The loud bang made you jump, causing you to launch sideways and grab onto the closest thing to you. It happened to be Yunho's arm.

When everyone sat down, Yunho sat himself right next to you, but didn't say a word. Everyone was chatting, the room filled with chaos as they came down from the adrenaline rush the storm had caused. Ari got up to sit with San and help him dry off, and when Yunho saw you sitting alone he was almost thankful. He didn't know why, but everything Ari had said earlier made him feel almost jumpy. He had seen the two of you giggling and whispering to each other, and felt like something was happening that he didn't understand. When he approached you your face looked distant, and he almost worried you didn't want him there, that you would have preferred her. He sat with his arm around the back of the couch behind you. But when you didn't lean into him at all, didn't seem comfortable with it, he pulled it back down to his side.

"Woo, you promised me!" you whisper yelled after you jumped, your grip on Yunho so strong it almost hurt. You felt so embarrassed at how easily scared you were.

"That wasn't even a jump scare, just a loud sound," Yunho said, and the room chuckled. You frowned, pulling yourself away from him. You weren't sure why you were so sensitive, but what he said made you feel small. And not in a good way.

Everyone else's attention was back on the movie in a second, but Yunho couldn't stop looking at you and your sullen face.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning ever so slightly towards you. "Come here," he said, moving his arm around your shoulders this time, gently pulling you towards him. You stuffed your head into his chest, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. You weren't sure if you even wanted his comfort. You completely tuned out the movie, closing your eyes. You mind raced with thoughts from the day, and you suddenly realized you hadn't had a chance to talk to Seonghwa. You had wanted to assure him of what was happening, because he lived with you both. You didn't want him worried that you and Yunho had been keeping something from him, sneaking around behind his back. But as you peaked around the room to find his face, you didn't see him anywhere. You felt confused, and exhausted, and suddenly realized how cold you were again. You tried to tuck yourself into the blankets more but it just wasn't enough, so finally you decided to go grab Yunho's hoodie from the library. Maybe one more layer would help.

You slowly crawl your way out of the room, careful not to block anyone's view of the TV. When you finally stand up you're at the edge of the very short hallway that leads to the library. As you stand you notice how dark the sky looks. This window faces out towards the fire pit, and sits where the cabin is directly under a few trees and your view is limited. Still, the view is beautiful. The rain has become more gentle now, and the soft sound soothes you as you look out across the land splattered with greenery. The plants, the trees, they're the reason you really like being out here. You hope that today's the last day you'll have to spend inside, nursing your body. Some movement in your periferral vision catches your eye, and you sweep your gaze back towards the fire pit and the ring of trees that surrounds it. Suddenly you realize why you couldn't find Seonghwa earlier.

Outside, on a lounging chair just to the left of the fire pit, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are kissing. They must have snuck out while the rest of you were occupied with the movie, you realize. You aren't sure how you missed them at first, but in the darkness of the storm and shadow of the trees they almost blended into the landscape. Seonghwa is sat against he back of the chair and Hongjoong is over him, a hand on Seonghwa's thigh. You see him move that hand to pull on Seonghwa's silky black hair, the kiss clearly passionate, heated. The rain patters down around them, but in the cover of the trees they don't look soaked. They certainly don't look bothered. You can't tell, really, from this far away. You shouldn't be trying to look that hard, anyway. You try to tell yourself that. But you're mesmerized, stuck to the spot. You feel overcome with how beautiful they both are.

Soon they're tugging at each other's shirts, and you can tell now from the way they take them off that they must pretty damp. In the struggle you see Hongjoong's muscular back and arms; Seonghwa's face is the picture of lust, his hands moving down quickly to reach inside Hongjoong's pants and start stroking him. They're kissing again, Seonghwa's lean chest heaving, Hongjoong grabbing his legs to wrap them around himself. Tangled together they look like a perfectly choreographed ballet, like they both know exactly where the other is headed. You see Hongjoong's hips start to buck, his mouth moving down to Seonghwa's ear, then neck, his iron grip on Seonghwa's thigh leaving a mark you can see all the way from the window. Seeing the red mark brings a heat to your cheeks; the image of your porcelain doll of a friend being marked up by such a muscular man is not something you thought you'd ever witness. Now that you have, you can't help but think they're perfect together. Suddenly Hongjoong is sitting back, his hands pulling on the band of Seonghwa's shorts and throwing them aside, and you see how hard Seonghwa is, his movements showing how obviously needy he is.

Fuck, I really should stop watching them, you think. You'd seen them both naked before, it's not like your friend group was uncomfortable with much. But this was obviously different, and the way your body was feeling while you witnessed it made you feel a confused and a little guilty. Still, you could not pull yourself away, as you saw Hongjoong lean down over Seonghwa and say something, and Seonghwa's lips curl up in a smile, his head turning to the side as he grabbed onto Hongjoong's arm. They looked so, so in love. With Seonghwa's legs spread Hongjoong reached down, his hand moving between his cheeks, moving in a way you could not make out from your distance. Seonghwa's head fell back in obvious pleasure, and his back arched slightly showing off his lean abdomen. Hongjoong moved his head down to suck on one of his nipples, making Hwa's back arch even further and his mouth fall open. He looked so completely content in such a vulnerable state, and it made your heart ache with happiness. In all of the conversations you'd had with him over the years, you knew he always felt so self-conscious in these situations. It was always shocking to you, given just how beautiful he was. He got propositioned out in public more than anyone in your group, and had to continually turn people down given the industry he worked in. But all of that attention felt uncomfortable to him, usually, and you knew that. To see him so unabashedly open with someone was a rare sight.

Hongjoong's hand moves up and then you see, a tiny glint of something metal in his hand. It must have been a plug Seonghwa had inside himself already. When had he put that in? It must have been after the game, so before the movie? When did he even have the time? You can't stop watching the way Hongjoong lines himself up, stroking a hand through Seonghwa's hair again, finally pushing himself in ever so slowly. The plug sits next to them on the lounging chair, and you swear the gem on the end twinkles at you. He starts thrusting slowly, kissing Seonghwa's cheek, the rain starting to pick up again. It all feels so cinematic, like it couldn't have been more perf-

"What are you looking at?" Yunho whispers into your ear, sliding up behind you. You jump, spinning away from the window and covering your eyes, your elbow hitting him in the ribs.

"Oh god, ow," he says, grabbing his side.

"You scared me," you pout, your head feeling full of molasses from all of the feelings you are having.

"I whispered," he replied. "Why are you so jumpy, are you okay? Why did you you leave the couch?"

"I was cold, I was gonna grab your hoodie. But then, the window, you know, it was pretty outside with the storm and stuff," you reply, averting your eyes.

"Seems like my hoodie is in danger of being re-homed," he replies. He's trying to joke around to lighten your mood, which is obviously not good at the moment. Your eyes on the floor make him worried, and you really don't seem yourself. Or rather, you seem like how you are when you aren't feeling well.

"Here, why don't we look out the window together?" he offers, turning you around to face it again, wrapping his arms around you to try to help you feel warm.

"Oh god, Yunho, no," you mumble as he turns you, and you start stepping out of his reach, mortified at what he's about to see. You feel his arms stretch out and his body begin to move with you, but then he halts.

"Oh, that's what you were looking at," he laughs under his breath, making you cringe. You hope he leaves it at that, that he doesn't say anything else. But soon he opens his mouth again. "Oh god, that's crazy," he says, and you look back to see his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He looks almost horrified, and you wonder for a moment if he's even seeing what you think he's seeing, or if it's something else entirely. With a confused look on your face you scoot towards the window again, to catch a glimpse of whatever has him so shocked.

As soon as your eye line reaches Seonghwa and Hongjoong you too feel a shock, at just how hard Hongjoong is thrusting into him now, his hand on Seonghwa's neck. No longer do the two look like a balletic couple; instead one has clearly submitted to the other. You know from conversations with him that Seonghwa likes being taken like this, or at least has always liked the idea of it. He'd told you many times how he'd never really had any partners he trusted enough to go there with, but that he wished he could. You feel strangely proud of him, as you realize he'd had to have a difficult conversation with Hongjoong to make this happen.

"Yunho, stop," you say, tugging on his arm to pull him into the library with you.

"You saw what I saw, right?" he asks, his voice still low but sounding mildly concerned.

"Yeah, why?" you ask, seeing his hoodie on the corner of the pull out couch and making a bee line for it.

"You just, don't seem concerned," he says.

"Why would I be concerned?" you ask, your eyebrows knitted together. You really don't know why he'd have a problem with the two of them being together, but suddenly you worry there's something about Yunho that you didn't know.

"Hongjoong was being so aggressive with him," he says, voice even softer.

"Oh, Yunho, he-" you cut yourself off, not wanting to overshare. You're so thankful he doesn't have a problem with them for any other reason. "It's not really my place to share but, let's just say I know he likes that. I'm sure he asked for it."

"Well, I guess that makes a lot of sense," he laughs, his relief palpable. You cock your head to the side, looking confused. "Oh you know what I mean," he continues. "Hwa is so professional, pretty, put together all the time. Of course he likes being taken like a whore."

"Yunho, what the fuck," you say, shoving your face in his hoodie to try to cover up your laugh. You can't help finding what he said hilarious, and his read of Seonghwa is completely spot on. But you can't believe the words actually left his lips. "How can you say that about him?"

"You're the one who was standing and watching them for what, five whole minutes? I waited a while to come and check on you," he says, staring you down as you finally put on his hoodie, your hair a mess under the hood.

"God, please don't tell anyone," you groan into your hands. "It's weird, I know, I'm sorry. I just, they seem very compatible, and I'm happy Hwa has found someone like that. I don't know."

"It's not weird, I know you like watching that kind of stuff," he replies.

"I do not, what are you talking about?" you reply, your cheeks feeling warm again.

"Ok I know it's only one example, but remember our school trip senior year? When those people in the hotel across the street were fucking and they left their curtains wide open? You couldn't stop staring."

"I'm never living that down," you sigh.

"There's nothing wrong with doing that, at least I don't think so. If people are fucking in public then they know someone might see. They probably even like the idea," he says, chuckling.

"I'm not a big pervert who reads smut all the time and likes watching people fuck," you pout, hitting him on the arm.

"I know," he murmurs, pulling you into a hug. "I'd still love you if you were, though."

Love. Your heart stops at the word for a moment, and you don't know why. You'd said it to each other thousands, probably tens of thousands of times in the ten years you'd known him. But now it's making you feel like your heart has fallen into your stomach, and you might puke it up. You sag against Yunho, pains wracking through you again. You almost feel relief, at realizing the feeling was just your cramps.

"I don't feel good," you groan into his chest.

"I know, I could tell," he says, rubbing a hand along your back.

"How?" you ask, tensing in anticipation of his answer.

"Cause you're being kind of weird with me today," he sighs out, hugging you even more tightly.

"I'm sorry," you say, having known it would be his answer. It was the thing him and Seonghwa had helped you realize; no matter how much you could hide the physical symptoms of anything, the changes in your personality were always there when you weren't feeling well. And those two, knowing you as well as they did, always picked up on it.

"Do you want to go back out there? Or stay in here?" he asks you.

"I just want to lay in here for a bit, by myself," you say, not wanting to expose him any longer to your sour mood. "I'll come out for dinner, can you let me know when everyone's eating?"

"Of course," he says, lifting you up and placing you on your bed. In the comfort of the library everything feels so intimate, and you tug him down to come lay with you too, for just a second. Wrapped around each other you both sigh, Yunho nuzzling his face into your neck and leaving a gentle kiss. He feels overcome with concern, his heart wanting to stay next to you like this, forever. But you'd said you wanted to lay by yourself. He pulls himself up, tightening the strings of his hoodie slightly and pulling your blanket over your shoulders. As he leaves he walks gently, trying not to make any sound. In the hallway he glances briefly out the window, to see Seonghwa smiling, him and Hongjoong cuddled up together in a gentle embrace.

***

Dinner passes in a blur, your entire body feeling achey and your head starting to hurt. You'd taken your pills, drank water; there was nothing else you could do. When Yunho came to get you you'd almost declined, almost asked him to bring you food in bed. Your bleeding was definitely slowing down, but your body was feeling weaker today, and your mind was all over the place. Throughout dinner you felt like you might start crying at the smallest thing, and you clung onto Seonghwa to keep yourself from doing so. Everyone could tell you weren't feeling well, Yunho and Seonghwa rubbing your back as you sat cross legged at the large coffee table in the living room, slowly sipping at your soup. When Wooyoung brought you the bowl he had leaned down to hug you, seeing just how out of it you were.

"You don't have to stay out here with us if you don't feel well," Seonghwa said, running his hand through your hair. You leaned against him, slowly blinking to try and calm yourself.

"I don't think I can walk right now," you said, your legs hurting terribly.

"I can carry you," Yunho piped up, downing his last bite of food. "Do you want to go lay down again?"

You nodded your head, the light in the room feeling too bright despite how dim it was. You bring your hands up to cover your eyes.

"Ok, let me clean up our dishes and I'll take you to your bed," he said, standing up with your bowl and his plate in hand. When he returned he gently grabbed your hands, moving them around to the back of his neck, and then moving your legs out in front of you, scooped you up in one fluid motion. You rest your head on his chest, burying your face into his hoodie that you're still wearing.

"Feel better, we love you," Ari said, a twinkle in her eye as she watched Yunho carrying you from the room.

"I love you too," you respond weakly. You feel yourself fading, but suddenly your teeth feel too gross to sleep. "Wait, I need to brush my teeth," you tell Yunho, groaning in frustration.

"Okay, no worries," he says, his voice gentle. He walks you to the bathroom and sets you down on the toilet seat, prepping your toothbrush for you, then helps you stand to spit everything out when you're done. "Wait, I need to pee," you say, holding onto his arm tightly. He helps you sit down again, helps take off your pants and panties. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have to help me like this," you say, your words nearly slurring together. You're really sounding out of it, and he feels himself in that space he gets in, when you're so broken down and he's the one there to comfort you.

"Shh, it's okay," he says, brushing a tear that fell down your cheek.

"No it's not, I'm a fucking mess," you continue, more tears starting to fall. "Why can't I figure out my damn body, why does it always catch me so off guard? It must be so weird living with me," you cry, everything tumbling out in waves.

"Y/n, listen to me. Everything is okay, I'm gonna get you to bed and you'll feel better tomorrow, I promise. You are not weird to live with, you're wonderful to live with. Are you hearing me?" he asks, moving your face up to make eye contact with him. "How did I get so lucky to know you?"

His kind words only make you cry harder, and you can't stop even as you get up from the toilet and try to steady yourself. He opens the door and picks you up again, carrying you finally to your bed to lay down. In bed your body feels heavy, like you're made of lead. You haven't felt this tired in a while, and you think sleep might envelop you immediately. But the pain radiating down your thighs and up through your stomach is too bad, and you toss and turn, unable to relax as Yunho readies himself for bed.

"Y/n, what do you need?" he asks, seeing your constant movements and pained expression.

"My legs to stop hurting," you mumble. Without even opening your eyes you raise your arms out to grab at him, even though he isn't right there. Your body is moving desperately again, and something about being with him in this room makes you loose all inhibitions. "Please make them stop hurting Yuyu," you plead.

"What would help, baby?" he asks, his body feeling electric. He moves over so you can grab him; he'll follow any request you have, do anything for you.

"Touch me, again, please," you beg, your thighs and pussy aching. Yunho again grabs a towel for you, gently placing it down on your bed and smoothing it out, lifting your hips to move you onto it. You keep making little sounds of desperation, unable to stop yourself. 'I know, I know, just relax baby,' he whispers to you, watching the way your face softens at the pet name. Soon your lower half is entirely naked, and he's massaging your legs, gently brushing past your cunt a few times, making you mewl from neediness. He wants to make you feel better but he also likes seeing you like this, likes hearing you beg for him. He wasn't prepared last night for what it did to him, and he thinks he's probably already addicted to that feeling.

Finally he slowly pushes a finger in, making you moan and sigh, the relief instant. Your reaching out to pull at his face, pulling him in to kiss him hard, your breath mixing as you open your mouth to slide your tongue across his. You moan at the feeling, his tongue wet and hot, making your clit throb. 'More,' you plead, your body feeling even more opened up than the previous night, even more ready to take everything he can give. He slowly adds a second digit, not wanting to hurt you, but he can tell your desperation is high and you're needing to be well and truly fucked. 'More, more,' you almost cry, your cunt clenching hard onto his long fingers, your hips rocking to match his movements. He inserts another finger, moving slowly again as to not hurt you. Desperately you claw at his back, hands reaching underneath his shirt, leaving marks in their wake. Yunho groans at the feeling, his own cock throbbing at how needy and wet you are. 'Faster, please,' you beg. The little sounds you let out are making him harder and harder; he starts rubbing himself against your leg as he fucks you with his fingers, his cock so hard it's starting to feel like torture.

"More, please Yuyu," you beg again, tears forming in your eyes from how good it all feels.

"More fingers? You feel so tight baby," he asks you, barely able to move his hand with how hard you're clenching down on him.

"No, need you inside me," you babble, feeling how hard he is against your leg. Yunho slows his movements a bit, propping himself up on his elbow to talk to you. He wants nothing more than to fuck you right then, but there's just one problem.

"Baby, I didn't bring any condoms with me," he huffs out, his frustration obvious.

"You should have," you whine, turning your face away from him but still moving your hips against his hand.

"How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen?" he asks, laughing.

You just whine again, eyes even more teary now at the thought that you might not get what you want, and you move your hands up to cover your face. Yunho stops his movements when he sees your disappointed face, sitting himself up to look down at you. He takes his free hand and gently brushes a hair out of your face.

"You really need me to fuck you right now?" he asks, earnestly. You nod your head, looking at him through the gaps between your fingers, your lips in a pout. Yunho groans and throws his head back, your sweet and needy face making him want to do every dirty thing he can think of. "Okay, I'll be right back," he says, slowly pulling out of you. You whine in disappointment, your pussy feeling devastatingly empty. "Just sit tight for a few minutes, I'll be right back," he says, kissing your forehead.

After cleaning off his hand Yunho walks through the cabin, trying hard to go unnoticed as he passes through the living room to the master bedroom. Everyone still seems to be awake except Hongjoong and Seonghwa who lay cuddled on a couch together; Wooyoung and his cousin Yeosang are playing what appears to be a very heated card game of some kind, while the other boys watch or scroll their phones, everyone clearly winding down for the night. He's thankful to not see Ari or San present; they must be in their bedroom as he'd hoped. His heart races from how potentially awkward this interaction could be, but he feels like he's on autopilot and there's no possibility of turning back. Not when you had begged him like that, and looked at him the way you did. There was no way he wouldn't find some sort of solution to his problem.

He knocks on the door gently, hoping he's not disturbing a private moment between the two.

"Yeah?" he hears Ari ask, sounding sleepy.

"It's Yunho, can I come in for just a sec?" he asks, trying to sound casual. He doesn't want to raise any alarm bells for them, or for any of the boys in the living room who might be overhearing. And if it had just been Ari, or one of the other friends he'd known for so long it might not feel too awkward. But there are three new people on the trip this year, and he isn't sure how comfortable they would be.

"Yeah, come in," she responds. Yunho turns the door handle slowly, hoping to avoid making any loud noise. Slowly pushing open the door, he spots San in the chair in the corner, reading over something on his laptop in front of him.

"Hey, sorry this is, well, random. Do you guys happen to have a, uh, condom I could borrow?" He spits it out, not wanting to waste a second.

"Oh, yeah, uh, let me see what I've got," San replies, closing his laptop and setting it on the bed before unzipping a small pocket in his suitcase. "Here just take this box, I brought two with me," he responds.

"Are you sure?" Yunho asks. He's frankly taken aback by how casual San is being about this, and by his generosity on top of it all.

"Yeah, of course. I've got plenty and I'm glad you're asking. It's always better to be safe," he responds, a genuine smile on his face.

"Be careful with her," Ari adds, unable to stop herself. "She's very fragile."

"I'm not going to hurt her, you know that," he replies, looking at her almost coldly. He feels slightly offended at the idea that she thinks it's a possibility, after all of the years she'd known him, seen him taking care of you.

"I know. I just had to say it, she needs all the protecting she can get," she says, remembering the state you were in during dinner. "I'm sorry if that was rude. I'm- I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to ask us," she finishes, hoping she didn't cross some sort of line with him.

"She's very capable of asking for what she needs," Yunho replies, wanting to stick up for you. But his face is soft, he isn't mad.

"Which is, that?" Ari gestures at the box of condoms in his hand, trying to hold back laughter.

"Okay, that's enough," Yunho laughs, looking away from her towards the door. "Thank you both, sorry if I made that weird."

Out the door he makes his way through the living room, trying to hide the box under the hem of his shirt. Mingi is the only one who glances up to see him, registering the shape of the box underneath his shirt. He's pretty sure he knows what it is, and he smirks to himself, too tired to say anything about it. But he's happy his friend is finally getting what he's wanted.

"I'm back," Yunho whispers when he reenters the room, your face and body awash in the gentle white light from the moon. He makes quick work of opening the box, removing one condom and throwing it on the bed. In a second he's on you, peppering your face with kisses, moving his hands underneath your shirt to pull it off.

"I'm so bloated," you say, breathless.

"I need to see you," he responds, not giving you any room to keep talking about yourself that way. You tug on his shirt as well and he reaches up, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor. In the moonlight he looks pale, his long torso perfectly shaped and beautifully lean. You bring a hand up to stroke along his stomach, feeling the strong muscles underneath his skin, brushing across a small happy trail going down from his belly button into his pants. You tug on his pants too, your neediness having only grown in the few minutes he was gone. The idea of laying stark naked in front of anyone, especially in your bloated, sickly state would normally make you shudder, but in this moment you feel free, ready to take anything. He moves down to kiss you again, passionately, his tongue forcing you to open your mouth wide, his hands possessively grabbing you. Him kissing down your neck has you moaning, nearly writhing underneath him. He moves up to whisper to you, biting your earlobe gently and making you moan louder.

"You're so perfect," he whispers, the words cascading down you like a soft warm rain, any worry you had completely melting away. You tug at his pants again, helping him move them down and finally, completely off. Quickly he rolls on the condom; carefully he lines himself up with your entrance, moving his stiff cock up and down our slit, already feeling how warm and wet and ready you are. Finally he presses in, achingly slowly, until he's fully seated inside of you, the muscles of your cunt being deliciously stretched in a way they never have before.

He's big to be sure, clearly just the perfect size, stretching you just the way your body needed. Slowly he pulls out, then soothingly pushes himself back in, his cock hitting every perfect place inside you. Your mouth falls open at the feeling; you've never felt so full, so complete. He moves a hand down to your hip, anchoring himself so he can start a slow rhythm, his head buzzing with how good it all feels.

"Baby, you're so tight, fuck," he says as he tries to find a consistent pace. "Does that feel good?" he asks, eyes not leaving your face.

"Yes, yes, fuck, Yunho," you mumble, not able to form a coherent sentence.

"Relax for me then, you're so tight I can barely move," he says, trying to find the perfect angle to make your body completely give in. Quickly he readjusts himself, moving his knee to lower his angle, adding more strength to his movement. You moan, clearly feeling even better than before, so he knows he needs to lower the angle even more. "Baby, lift your hips for me," he says, grabbing a pillow from beside you to move underneath your lower back. Once you're situated he kisses you again, acutely aware of just how surrendered you are to him, words no longer forming on your lips. Slowly he adjusts his knee again, his hand still on your hip anchoring you, and he begins fucking you again from his new angle.

The immense pleasure is immediate, your back arching and your head rolling back, your moans so loud you're probably being heard throughout the rest of the cabin. But Yunho doesn't care, he's not thinking about that. All he's thinking about is the way he feels your pussy pull him in even more, your hips and thighs finally relaxing some, your whole body reacting to his change in movement.

"Shit, there you go," he praises you, feeling your legs wrap around his back, pulling him in. He's been so careful with you, so focused on not hurting you, but he can tell you need more, so he starts fucking you harder, his face nuzzling in your hair to take in everything he loves about you. He can feel the muscles of your pussy start to clench again, but it's different this time; the flutter against his cock drives him crazy, making him thrust into you even harder. Soon he feels the muscles clenching hard, your moans reaching their peak, your hands a vice grip on his arm and back.

"Good girl, let yourself come," he coos, holding you as close to him as he can, kissing your cheek and nose. It's the most heated moment, he feels himself about to come undone too, but suddenly he's overcome with fondness, a warmth flowing through his chest, making him feel emotional.

"Fuck, I love you." The words tumble out of him without warning and your own chest warms, just as your orgasm starts blooming through you, your legs shaking as Yunho continues to fuck you. You're moaning and mewling, unable to say a single actual word, but you wish you could tell him just how perfect everything is, how you haven't came like that, ever. In the heat of the moment everything felt right, and to hear him say something so sweet just as you reached your climax made it all feel even better. His tight grip on you, the way he's nuzzled into your body, it makes you feel safe and grounded and so fucking horny.

Yunho comes just after you do, his thrusts becoming inconsistent, his body going taught and then absolutely limp on top of you. You both breath deeply, your chests heaving in the quiet coolness of the room. You wish you could bottle this feeling, the way your body is limp and buzzing with pleasure, his weight on top of you making your usually busy brain filled with nothing but the feeling of him. It feels peaceful, almost spiritual. You both rest for a few minutes, not moving a muscle, except when Yunho reaches over finally to kiss you again, making you giggle.

"How are you feeling?' he asks, still not daring to move.

"So good," you slur out, a dopey smile spreading across your face.

"Good," he replies, wrapping himself around you like he loves to do. "Can I pull out of you?" he asks.

"Mhmm," you respond, moving your legs to allow him to move. He cleans you up and helps you redress, stopping every few seconds to kiss you again, tickling you too when he realizes you're in the mood for it. It takes a while for you to come back to yourself, your mind so foggy from everything that had happened. But finally, once he'd gotten you both totally ready for sleep and wrapped himself up behind you, you found you could actually speak.

"I love you too," you whisper, squeezing his hand that rests on your belly. He just cuddles you closer, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 2

Chapter 1

Arella sat quietly, solemnly as she held his hand. She could only watch helplessly as his brows furrowed, lost deep in another nightmare.

Why, she thought, why did this happen? How could she allow him to end up in such a bad place? Granted, they hadn’t really seen each other for over three months. That was the last time they had been intimate but even then she could tell he was distant- not present in the moment but rather just going through the motions.

After that, Mammon had started avoiding both her and his brothers like the plague. Arella began to fear he might not actually love her anymore but still kept her around as an object of his greed- no longer anything more than just a possession to be owned. The very thought was enough to break her heart as she ran her fingers through his hair in a soothing manner- hoping the action might quell his nightmare. It seemed to work until his hand came up to grasp her wrist and she let out a surprised gasp.

”You’re awake! Mamm-“

”Get out,” his voice was rough, scratchy almost.

Please don’t leave me.

”Huh?” Even now, when all she wanted was to be by his side, the demon was pushing her away.

”Ya deaf or somethin’?” Mammon growled, “Said get out,”

Please, figure it out. Just order me to talk and I’ll tell ya everything.

At this, Arella puffed out her cheeks in an angry pout. “No! I’m not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on with you. You’re my boyfriend and I care about you. Your brothers and I are worried sick about you. You scared the daylights out of all of us when you collapsed at the student council meeting! I didn't want to do this but Mammon, I'm ordering you to tell me what happened to lead you to this point."

And there it was. The one thing he's been waiting for all these months. The gag order had been lifted and now he could tell her- tell them all what the witches had done.

"I was raped! More than once!" His voice cracked with unshed tears. "They used the pact so they could tie me down and used it ta keep me from struggling w-while they- they-" He couldn't finish his sentence. All the shame and guilt he felt from the past year came rushing back and hit him like a hurricane. "A-An' then they forced me to stay quiet. I couldn't tell anyone. T-they wanted a kid outta me. Part of me thinks they might've gotten what they wanted too."

Arella's jaw dropped at the confession. She couldn't believe what she just heard- not because she didn't believe Mammon, no, what Arella couldn't believe that a pact-master would dare to cross such a boundary. She ran to him, the sobbing, broken, victim and embraced him tightly as he pressed his face in the junction between her neck and shoulder, hot tears dampening the fabric of her uniform shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Treasure! I tried so hard to fight 'em off but I just- I wasn't strong enough!"

"No... No, Love, don't apologize. You did your best. They abused the pact. There was nothing you could have done." She started to rock him as she shushed him, her own tears to spill over.

"I feel so horrible! So dirty an' disgusting. I can't even look myself in the mirror! What kind of demon am I? I’m supposed ta be the Avatar of Greed- the second strongest outta the seven of us- and I can’t even fend off three human witches?! Y’all should he ashamed of me for bein’ so weak…”

”Mammon, I’m not ashamed of you. They took advantage of your trust. It wasn’t your fault. You set a boundary and they overs stepped it. I just wish I would have made you talk sooner…” Arella turned her head to place a kiss to his temple. “Its going to be okay. Come what may, the eight of us get through this together. You don’t have to fight this alone anymore, alright?”

The demon only nodded as he allowed the human to guide him onto his back. “Will you stay with me?” He asks, voice strained and tired. “I don’t… I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Of course, I will.” She nodded as she started to play with his hair in attempt to relax him enough to fall alseep. “I’ll always be here when you need me.”

—————————————————————

The brothers sat silently as Asmo’s words hung over them like a heavy cloud.

”Are you absolutely sure that’s what happened, Asmodeus?” Lucifer asks just barely able to mask the horror written on his face.

”As much as I wish it weren’t the case, after considering the abrupt change in personality, the isolation, the nightmares, the staying out with them all night- I’d be willing to bet my title on it….” The Avatar of Lust had an serious expression on his face as he spoke. As far as the not eating goes, it could be a form of self harm he doesn’t think we’re noticing. I’ve seen this all too often to not know and I don’t know why it never clicked sooner.”

”But why didn’t he tell us?!” Levi exclaimed, “I thought we were past all this?”

”You can’t even begin to understand the shame that comes with rape, Levi…” The strawberry blonde demon frowned. “And for somebody like Mammon, who’s image is everything to him, it can be very difficult to accept what happened or ask for help or even come forward in the first place.”

”So it’s about his pride essentially?” Beel asked with a confused look on his face.

”I don’t think that’s the case actually,” Satan quipped as he stroked his chin contemplatively. “I’ve been watching Mammon more closely for a few weeks now… whenever Arella attempts to talk to him about what’s been happening, he has this look on his face. Like he wants to say something but can’t so he just deflects the question but it got me thinking… What if he really can’t say anything about this to anyone?”

“So you’re implying Mammon had a gag order on him?” The Avatar of Sloth sat up, full attention on his brother.

At this Lucifer stood from the table abruptly. All he saw was red while his brothers shrank back at the rage rolling off him. They hadn’t seen him this wrathful since the fall- since Satan’s birth.

“I’ll be leaving to the Demon Lord’s castle,” the Avatar of Pride announced as he made his way out. “Don’t wait up.”

He would be followed by the sixth and the fourth, leaving the other three to figure out a way to best comfort the second-born now that they had figured out the truth.

—————————————————————

Arella was coming down to the kitchen. She felt sick with anger ever since she found out what happened to Mammon. They had all missed dinner that night, too preoccupied with the Avatar of Greed’s condition to even consider dinner plans.

As she entered the kitchen, she almost ran smack dab into the Avatar of Envy.

“Oh gosh, Levi. I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“No its okay. How’s Mammon doing? Is he awake?”

Arella nodded. “He woke up a few hours ago but I’ve been trying to get him to go back to sleep and stay asleep for longer than 30 minutes… He says he hasn’t eaten in a few days so I figured getting some food in him will help him sleep better.”

Levi perked up instantly. “Let me help you! What are you planning to make?”

“I was just going to make those cup noodles you brother likes. I don’t want to be away too long. Also, do you know where Lucifer is? I was able to make Mammon talk and I have to tell Lucifer what happened right away.”

”He went to the Demon Lord’s castle to see Diavolo. We- well it was mostly Asmo- figured out what happened. I haven’t seen Lucifer this upset and angry since the fall.”

Arella let out a small sigh of relief. At least those horrible women were going to get what was coming to them. “You know, instead of helping me make dinner for him, why don’t you go and keep Mammon company instead? He didn’t really seem too keen on being alone so I’m sure he would appreciate the company.”

She gave an encouraging smile as Levi nodded, heading off to see his brother as Arella got dinner ready for the white haired demon.

Next

Masterlist 2

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Two Shorten the Road

part 1

joel dawson x reader

warnings: cussing? idk, bad writing.....fluff, cuteness, monsters(is this a warning), mentions of death, SPOILERS

word count: 2154

prompt: when your best friend decides to leave your colony to go find the love of his life, you decide to join him on his journey even if you aren’t so happy about where this journey is going

Welp I did it, I took it into my own hands. I am writing a joel dawson series. Because we👏need 👏more👏joel👏fics👏 it’s basically the movie, almost the same script but obviously slightly different…ENJOY! <3

No one in my generation or later had a typical upbringing, I mean some of us did but then the world ended. This type of thing sounds straight out of some apocalyptic movie, but we basically live in one now. Agatha 616, an asteroid heading straight for earth, I know, so original. So we all came together and did what we do best, blow things up. Yup, we blew up teh asteroid, and humanity was saved! We thought. But here’s the thing about rockets, they are made of a bunch of chemical compounds which eventually rained back down on earth. Suddenly there were these Aileen creatures that mutated and started eating us. Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles, you name it. Our president was even killed by a giant moth. Ya….not so original now huh? We suddenly need tanks to kill ants, oh man I remember the good old days when a shoe would do just fine. Sometimes even the tanks didn’t work. Eventually the really big ones and our military took each other out and we lost 95% of the human population in a year! Those of us who survived hid, bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years I’ve been hiding in an underground bunker. It’s really not as bad as it sounds, and it’s better than getting eaten alive. It’s a great group of people and we all love each other.

“Are you sure they’re asleep?”

“Who?”

“Y/N and joel!”

“Oh ya I’m sure”

“Joel? Y/n?”

“He’s asleep”

Actually we are both awake. Me and my best friend joel have kinda mastered faking being asleep. Our beds are right across from each other so we normally just lie there and make stupid faces at each other. We are the only two single people in our bunker. Nice huh? Joel is my best friend. I met him when I joined the colony. He’s the sweetest. It’s funny cause everyone thinks we should just have sex already because that’s literally all everyone else does. But we are way above that. Anyway, joel is in love with his girlfriend from before the colony, her name is Aimee. With one “I” and two “e”s. He loves to talk about her, he writes her letters. So in reality, I am the only one who is not in love in this bunker. I’ve never had a boyfriend, ever, even before the world ended.

We don’t really get any sleep. The moaning kinda keeps us awake. I got up and out of my bed and headed for the kitchen. I heard Joel’s bed creak and then his footsteps as he followed behind me. Another annoying thing about being down here is that to get to the kitchen from my room, you have to walk though other people’s bedrooms. Oh shit, they are busy, why would they leave their door open. Me and Joel stopped.

“Oh” joel and I said in unison

“Hey Y/N! Hey Joel!” Ava said

“Oh hey Ava” Joel said, we didn’t dare look over to our left.

“Y/N how’s it going?” Tim asked

“T-totally good tim, h-how are you doing” I asked

“Yeah, good” he responded

“I uh we couldn’t sleep” said Joel looking at the ceiling

“Ya we know the feeling” Ava said with a laugh

“Yeah probably not for the…..same reasons” joel said looking straight ahead

“Your guyses door was open, did you…did you know that?” I asked

“Yeah we know” they said

I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together

“Okay” joel trailed off

Ever since Tim’s parents were eaten by a swarm of termites he and Ava have gotten really close, in every way.

“Okay, goodnight” joel said as we walked

Basically everyone is coupled up down here, a baby was born last winter! Welcome to the apocalypse kid. Ok if we ever get out of this, that would be an awesome story to tell your kids. “Oh ya I was born in an underground bunker doing a monster apocalypse” “yes exactly like World War Z but with bugs bigger than a 5 story building”. I mean come on.

So your probably wonder how the hell we get food, we’ll we have a cow. Gurdy. Gurdy is great. We also have a hunting party that brings back whatever they can from the surface. It’s gotten harder and harder, cause we ran out of bullets. And facing one of those things with a handmade weapon is just as hard as it sounds. It’s very very difficult. I go with them….sometimes. I still get scared. But I’ve been out quite a lot, especially compared to my man joel over here. I’ve been out maybe 30 times, he’s been out…maybe once, or not even. He’s the chef of the bunker. He makes super good Minestrone.

Me and joel like to hang out with Mavis. A robot. Yup. Not much for conversation, her batter is shot. Just like every other mavis I would imagine. When I’m not hunting we hang out with her. But sometimes I just go read. Reading and joel keep me sane. I mean sometimes joel drives me insane but I still love him. I have quite the collection of books too! I’ve got Emma by Jane Austen, a couple random ones that we found, all the hunger games and Harry Potter books, some mysteries that stopped being mysteries after a while, and then of course some smutty romance books for personal entertainment.

Joel likes to say that his thing is target practice. He has never hit the target but ya know, gotta entertain yourself. I think his thing is drawing though, he has this book that he draws in from Aimee. It’s really cool actually. He’s really good.

I sat watching Joel as he tried to hit the target, laughing a little every time he missed. It was cute how hard he tried.

“Shut up” he said shaking his laugh away

I laughed again, but then suddenly the lights started flickering. You could hear screeches and creeks echoing through the bunker. Joel turned to look at me. Worry and determination in his eyes. We both scrambled out of the room and into the kitchen where everyone was preparing.

“Hustle, hustle people we’ve gotta move”

I turned to look at Joel but then realized that he wasn’t next to me. Where did he go? Worry flooded through me. Suddenly the clanking of our weapon started behind me.

“Hey guys!” Joel said as he rammed into the railing, I shook my head. “Guys! I’ve got the weapons” he smiled at me

A few people walked over to him taking them out of his hands

“Stay” said Tim

“W-what?” Joel asked looking around in confusion

Everyone was talking and barking orders “grab what you need and let’s go! Y/N you coming?”

My eyes shot open “yes! Yup!” I jumped up and grabbed the bow and arrow from Joel.

“W-what's happening?” He asked innocently “what’s going on?”

“There’s a breach” said Tim

“What do you mean? Like inside the bunker breach?!” He asked

“Yes joel! Now come on!” I told him, patting him on the pack as I followed the others

He followed me and watched the plan get arranged

“Anna, Y/N and I will engage. Anderson and Tom plank him”

“Plank him, ya ok where do you guys need me? You want me to uh come through the rear or..?” Joel asked eagerly

“I don’t think your going to pass this joel” I told him

“Pass what? You guys need help, let me help” said clutching his crossbow

“You gonna make me say it?” said Sam

“Say what?!” God he was so adorably clueless

“You can’t handle it joel, your shook” said Sam, we all began getting into positions

“Ya ok, yes so you guys don’t get scared..ever?” He asked still getting ready to fight

“We get scared, we all get scared joel, but you get really scared” said Sam

“They are trying to make you feel bad joel” I said sweetly, trying to calm him down

“We love you joel”

“But your a liability”

“Ok why did that speech feel so rehearsed? And what about Y/N? She’s like…ya know?” He said bobbing his head

“Joel-“ suddenly the bunker shook and the lights flicked again

“Ok 30 meters out! Let’s move!” And we were off

Leaving joel and some others behind. You could hear the growling of whatever we were up against

I followed the others and listened carefully. I was freaking shaking. Don’t ask how I got sucked into becoming one the the hunters. Kinda just happened and I was just-

“OH SHIT!” I heard someone yell, it was too dark to see. Someone was gone, that thing took them. I couldn’t even see it. Oh fuck my life. Everyone began scattering, running away from the monster. I stopped running to take a breath, when I realized I was alone. Nicely done Y/N. The lights kept flickering. I heard something blow up in the distance.

“Conned? Conner?” I heard a whisper, one I knew all too well. Shit, joel. I ran toward the sound, and had no idea I was also running toward certain death. I stopped running. There it was, that thing. I’d never seen this before. I didn’t recognize it. I stayed silent, not moving at all. It slowly crawled over a shower curtain. Oh fuck. He was going toward joel! I quickly grabbed my bow and arrow and shot it. Right though the face. Next to its….eye I guess you could call it. Joel stood there, frozen.

I slowly walked over to him “Joel, hey are you ok?” I asked as I slipped my hand into his. He was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks. He has a bad freezing problem, so I've been helping him work on it.

About an hour later I sat with Joel, still holding his hand as he stared out into space. We could hear everyone talking. How could this have happened?

“It ripped through steal”

“Anderson and I resealed the Breach point, nothings getting in that way again”

“But why did it happen?”

I tried to toon it out, and I hoped Joel did too.

“Joel, do you wanna talk about it?” I asked squeezing his hand, he looked so sad, which just crushed me

He shook his head

“Ok….” I nodded, I leaned into hug him but was interrupted by his voice

“How far away is Aimee's colony?” He asked

I pulled back, looking at him confused. The talking stopped and everyone look at him

“What?” Tim asked

“Aimee’s colony, how far away is it?” He repeated

“About 85 miles” he said as he furrowed his brows

“How long will it take to get there?”

“What do you mean joel?” I asked leaning closer to him

“Just humor me, how long?” He insisted

“7 days” said Tim

“Someone who’s armed and trained would hardly last 50miles, but you…joel” Ava said, I felt bad for him, he really didn’t deserve any of this

“Alright” Tim continued “now I need volunteers”

“I’m gonna go” joel said

No one said anything, they just stared

“It’s an impossible journey joel” said Tim, crossing his arms

Joel stood up, moving around my chair. “No im serious…I love you guys but there’s only one person in this world who ever truly made me happy and she’s only 85 miles away” he said strongly “I’m gonna go see her” I could see his mind was made up

God he was such a romantic, how could you not love this guy? Sure it hurts when your best friend tells you that you didn’t make him truly happy. Especially when you maybe sorta kinda have a crush on him.

He let out a breath “woah, that felt awesome” he said as he walked off to start packing

I stood there for a second processing and thinking, but then suddenly my mouth took over and well….

“I’m coming with you!” I said, he froze “I mean you can’t leave me here with these middle aged people, and your my best friend so” I shrugged

“I’ll come back for you I promise” he walked over to me “I can’t let you put yourself in even more danger” he said grabbing my arms

“I can’t let you put yourself in danger knowing that I could have helped protect you” I said, he stared blankly at me

I smiled “o-ohK…then I guess…” he trailed off

“Cool I’ll go pack” I skipped past him. Was I scared? Hell yes. But like I said, I needed to help joel and protect him in every way I can. And sure I wasn’t so happy that he was returning to his long lost love but if it made him happy then I would live. And anyway, two do shorten the road.

[onepiecereactions]

Vice-Admiral Smoker and the joys of administration, OS

Smoker, Tashigi, Garp, Kizaru OS.

Humour.

Warning vulgarity.

2100 words.

English Version

Vice-Admiral Smoker and the joys of administration

Smoker hated coming backfrom a mission. Don't get me wrong, he loves his job! But two things annoyed him the most about these moments.

On the one hand, that meant not going on the sea for at least a few weeks. Indeed, Marineford had established a complex system of turnover of vice-admirals so, with some exceptions, at least 3 vice admirals are always present on the base in case of necessity.

The feeling of freedom, feeling the air on his face, not being locked, that was what made Smoker happy deep inside him. That and the feeling of having helped the citizens and brought some justice back to this damn world, obviously.

On the other hand, returning to base meant a horrible administrative mountain. And just thinking about it, headaches were already migrating through the vice-admiral's head. Luckily, Tashigi was always ready to help him and do some of his duties to let him rest.

So it was with a heavy heart that Smoker set foot on the base for the first time after months of mission. While Tashigi was already rushing into his office with the firm intention of working all night to do her report on time, Smoker was walking mechanically to his private apartments. He threw his dirty jacket on the floor, took a long, hot shower, and get into his bed, already cursing tomorrow's hellish day.

The next morning the vice-admiral woke up in a bad mood. He grabbed his jacket that he had left on the soaked bathroom floor and sighed: it was ruined. As resistant as the clothes made by Marineford are, staying intact when you get cannonballs in your back is complicated. And Smoker, unlike many of the women on the base, hated walking around topless.

So his first resolution of the day was to go find a new jacket. And of course, he was going to ask Tashigi to do it for him. At first, as a man of integrity, Smoker was remorseful about leaving so many of his tasks to his colleague, even if the latter was doing wonderfully. But after several years in Marineford, honestly, now he didn't care.

So he grabbed his den den mushis and called the brunette. After several seconds of waiting, Tashigi did not pick up. Smoker worried, it was very unusual for the young woman who had a reputation for answering even when she was asleep.

He then quickly took two cigars from his desk, threw his dead jacket over his back, and walked quickly to his office.

Misfortune never happening alone, of course, on the way he passed Admiral Kizaru. The latter joined him in his race to his office and took the opportunity to discuss. The Yellow Admiral had the reputation of loving to talk, much to the misfortune of Smoker who loved calm above all else.

"Oh, tell me dear friend, are the holes in the jacket a new fashion? I know that I am no longer very young but still, I don’t understant. Is it to provide a ventilation system? Don't tell me you have a fever my dear friend? Do you want me to call the dear caregivers of the "

Kizaru didn't even have time to finish his monologue when he got the door of Smoker's office in the face. The latter had already crushed his cigars to refrain from hitting the high-ranking officer in the face.

Once he was sure he heard the yellow monkey leave, he got into the chair across from his desk and reached into the second drawer to extract two new cigars.

After a few seconds of enjoying the smoke reaching his lungs, Smoker grabbed the stationary den den mushi of his desk and, as he went to call Tashigi, a note stuck to the back of his device intrigued him.

"Even though I warned you last night, that I sent you an official mail 48 hours before and that I slipped a note under the door of your apartment, I want to remind you, just in case, that I am absent that day until 7:30 p.m. All the captains have a meeting. I wish you a very nice day. Captain TASHIGI. "

Oh shit. For a little Smoker could have cried. It was certainly one of the worst announcements he could receive. No Tashigi. No Tashigi for a whole day! One more day after a mission! All the calls and assignments she receives today will go straight back to him, her boss! In addition to her work he was going to have to do his own! With holes in his jacket.

Smoker decided to go on strike. The schedule for that day was already far too scary to be able to live it. A thousand times he would have preferred to fight against Monkey D Luffy rather than going through it.

He then decided he would do what was necessary. He got up quickly from his seat, crashed out of his office and almost ran towards Building C. It was barely nine in the morning but the Vice Admiral thought he was fainting when he saw the huge queue in front of the door. . Obviously, it was Monday, and those morons in the administrative sector never worked weekends.

He then did like everyone else, walked over to the door to grab a numbered ticket, sat down on one of the few free seats and waited.

To his left was an ordinary soldier, without a shirt and pants, just his underwear. Smoker could smell a familiar scent of magma. Akainu had made his own again during the training of his subordinates.

Smoker looked at his ticket, number 38 and sighed. As he was about to improvise a nap while waiting his turn, his portable den den mushis rang.

"Vice-Admiral Smoker, I'm listening. » He said wearily.

The soldier at the other end of the line looked surprised to find the Vice Admiral and not the Captain. “Captain Tashigi is in a meeting, her calls are being redirected to me. If it's not urgent hang up ". Without further ado, the soldier hung up to the vice-admiral's delight.

1 hour later.

"I swear in front of Gol D Roger that if that damn den den mushi rings one more time I will blow his head against the wall." Grumbled the marine for the third time in a minute.

After an hour of waiting and 15 calls, the Vice Admiral was finally called into the room.

He almost tore his jacket from his back, put it violently on the desk while trying to keep his nerves and glared at the woman in front of him who remained unmoved.

"Vice Admiral Smoker, registration number XXXX, I need a new model 3 series AB size 98 jacket with option 13". Smoker had been clear, to the point, and hardly angry.

The woman, who was well into her fiftieth, looked at him indifferently.

“It doesn't work like that, vice-admiral. She said in a weary voice, as if she was talking to the first moron in the area.

Smoker struggled not to crush his cigars again but revised himself to think it would be difficult to face this without cigars.

"So how do you do in this case?" He asked sharply.

The woman didn't even bother to answer him, she just gave him a form. Smoker thought it was a big joke when he found himself with a five-page double-sided document in his hands.

" Are you kinding me ? Five fucking pages for a fucking jacket? Can't you just write 22 fucking words on a fucking post it note and talk about it? Bellowed the Vice Admiral who was already starting to turn to smoke in annoyance.

"Blblblbl, blblblbl, blbllb" The den den mushi began to ring, straining Smoker's last strength to stay calm.

" It's not my fault ". The woman began in a slow, boring voice.

Blblblbl, blbllblb, blbllb

"If you are too stupid"

Blblblb, blblbl, blbllb

"To complete a simple form"

Blblbllbbl, blblbl

"That even Kizaru gets to"

Blblbl, SCRATCH.

The vice-admiral's den den mushi flew across the room, finishing its course into the wall.

To the slow voice of the woman was added the tears of the den den mushi.

"FUCK OF," Smoker yelled as he stormed out of the room to make sure his fist didn't end up in the woman's face. He went out like a madman and locked himself in his office to try to find calm and serenity.

He grabbed a third cigar and after about ten minutes of relaxation began to fill out the damn form. He was only halfway through when the door to his office slammed open, knocking out the lustrous wood that had already received quite a few knocks.

"Ah my dear friend, I went to the infirmary and got you some medicine to lower your temperature. But beware, this is a suppository! ".

Smoker felt his heart stop beating when he saw the yellow admiral's face in front of his nose.

Blblblb, blbllb

"Oh my dear friend I think someone is trying to reach you on your stationary den den mushi. "

Blblblb, blbllb

"Maybe you should answer, maybe it's urgent, don't you think? "

Blblblbl, blbllb

Smoker had a vision. The den den mushi stuck, smeared with haki, right in the middle of the admiral's face, his nose bleeding.

It took phenomenal self-control for the vice-admiral not to reproduce his impulses. For the second time, he chooses to escape.

He took a pen with him to finish filling out the damn file that had become completely unreadable so much he had massacred it.

He found himself in front of the lingerie door, walked past all the soldiers and walked into the office. He barely had time to put a foot inside when he felt a stapler cross his face with its smoke.

"I DON'T THINK I CALLED YOUR NUMBER!" Yelled the woman who had "briefed" him earlier.

Smoker crushed the doorknob but stayed calm. He turned around, took a ticket from the machine, and sat down in the only seat available: the one next to Vice-Admiral Garp. "

Smoker sighed and prayed to all the gods that this old fool would leave him in peace.

So he settled down next to him and inspected him discreetly. He then realized that the old man's uniform was impeccably worn if the traces of grease were omitted from his shirt from all the donuts he had. But the Marineford hero wasn’t wearing socks.

"Don't ask questions kid." The grandfather simply told him when he met Smoker's gaze.

"Hey Smoker, I heard you're after my grandson. Did you know that when he was young he used to have fun sticking his finger up his nose to eat his boogers? Except that this stupid pirate, as he is elastic, he always ended up bleeding from the nose. Suddenly he would start screaming and running in all directions. Most of the time he would smash into a tree or a wall and fall apart, by the time the bleeding ended. Did you also know he got clean very late? I had to buy him pyjamas with an opening pocket on the buttocks because he never managed to undo his buttons and ended up pooping on himself? Ah and also the time when ”.

Smoker wanted to: die.

Blblblb, blbllbl

A mirage ? a hallucination?

"Vice-Admiral Garp, I'm listening. Ah hi Sengoku, how are you? A fishing trip? Now ? Ah I'm coming. By the way, don't you have pairs of socks to lend me? »And so the Vice Admiral disappeared through the maze of hallways, much to Smoker's delight.

It took no less than forty-five additional minutes of waiting for Smoker to finally put the damn file in the damn good drawer which, by chance again, was in building A and, as it happened, no administrative soldier was available to take the paper which he therefore had to deposit himself.

The same day, at 10 p.m.

"A call for you Vice Admiral Smoker." The bartender handed the den den mushi to the vice-admiral, who took a last sip of sake before answering.

"Good evening Vice-Admiral, I hope you had a good day! » Tashigi began. "I was wondering why you weren't answering den den mushi... I received an official document for you. It involves a fine for "disrespecting an administrative colleague" as well as a two-week ban from returning to the lingerie office. Is everything okay ”.

"I STILL PREFER TO WALK NAKED THAN TO RETURN TO THIS OFFICE".

[talesofsonicasura]

Broken Toys

Chapter 1: Bleed, I must be dreaming

Tragedy can give rise to many things. Rumors, change, legends than just suffering and heartbreak. One such creation had very bizarre habits in the eyes of a particular noodle shop owner. Warning: minor blood, slightly description of death and injuries, extraction of harmful object(goes with the minor blood), mild swearing, and one super creepy child. Prologue

'The Great Megapolis Raceway Disaster. On April 7, 20XX, an semi-annual street race had their route improperly marked and blockaded. As a result, the racers end up turning down a street full of people instead of an empty road.

The result was all 12 cars crashing into various buildings and bystanders as they tried to come to a halt. 30 injured with 7 being the drivers and 25 dead as 10 victims had succumbed to their fatal injuries. Strangely, 10 year old Qi Xiaotion, a child who was hit directly by the lead racer's car, body has subsequently vanished.

Police haven't found the missing child or any possibility he could be alive except for the remains of a Monkey King Plush and what is assumed to be the child's right arm and lower torso. Search is ongoing and any future updates are unknown.'

This national incident was widespread throughout the community of Megapolis for two reasons. One was that some of the victims had been either high up or related to powerful corporations throughout the city. A few of the casualties were rumored to be descendants of both well known demons and even some celestials such as the Yellow Wind Demon but also rumored Jade Emperor for some of his soldiers were said to be seen in the city.

Some speculated this was a planned terrorist threat but no evidence had been found. The second reason is the creation of an urban legend known as the Broken Toy Phantom. On that very day, the body of a 10 year old child had gone missing. After that, sightings of a strange entity began to crop up.

Witnesses said it looked like a child but had cotton coming from open stitches and sharp blades out of their skin. Whenever the Broken Toy Phantom was spotted, the chance of a large monster in the form of a destroyed children's toy would be there. It is said that if you meant no harm should you encounter this phantom, it would leave you alone.

To try and harm the phantom was met with the claws of the broken toys that protected the child. Only warning one had if they were in the presence of the Broken Toy Phantom is the vague image of a monkey plush that held glowing red eyes.

Pigsy's Noodles

It was a warm early morning for the city of Megapolis. The last dredges of Spring were slowly dwindling as Summer was almost here. A time of year for the popular restaurant Pigsy's Noodles to begin changing their menu in preparation for the hottest season.

This modest establishment known for its delicious noodles, homely and comfortable atmosphere was also a precious treasure to the owner. A pig demon nearing his 40s named Pigsy, this short and stout man was not only the store's owner but also the cook.

Every dish he made was handcrafted with strong dedication and passionate based skill that could be felt through every bite. So imagine the 5'2 tall pink skinned and dark blue eyed demon's face when he went to open up his shop for today. Lying at the front by the side of the door was a child.

A young boy probably around 10 years old who sat around 3'7 in height. Long wild dark brown that haven't seem to be washed in days, soft tan skin with a large stitch under his right eye alongside some on his arms from the man could see, an orange shirt with violet sleeves and red collar that were stitched on, black pants with the bottom half blue jean material that were also stitched on, violet sandals made from leather, polyester and felt fabric sewn together, and the creepiest doll he ever seen cuddled in the boy's arms.

It looked like one of those very rare limited edition Monkey King collectible plushies that his friend had been ranting on about. The only difference was the gold thread eyes were replaced with bulging white plastic eyes and the flat face instead had a large openable muzzle bearing large white felt teeth.

Despite laying on solid concrete, the young boy was comfortably fast asleep almost if used to doing such a thing. A bit confused and worried, Pigsy placed his keys in the breast pocket of his white polo shirt then walked up to the child. For a second, he thought the toy's bulging eyes went from looking at the ground and by proxy his black dress shoes and black work pants to stare the pig demon straight in the face.

Whatever the case, it didn't matter as the child began to wake up. Chocolate brown eyes looking straight at Pigsy, a look of nervous embarrassment came across the boy's face. "Heh heh… Looks like I overslept a bit." In seconds the child had jumped to his feet faster than any normal person could.

The nameless boy clutched the ominous Monkey King plush closer and put on a nervous smile. "Sorry about that sir. I'll get out of your hands now so you can open up shop without an issue." And before Pigsy could say anything, the child skipped away into an alley just as quickly.

The restaurant owner could only frown before heading into the shop. Homeless people weren't anything new, especially in a big city like this, but it stung more when a child is forced to survive on the harsh streets. All Pigsy could do at the moment was wish the young man good luck.

Next time the middle aged pig demon saw the mysterious kid was once again by his restaurant. It was nearly closing time when the bell of the shop's door rang. The establishment isn't anything grand, a few booths, stools set up at the front near the register, some potted plants and pastel white walls decorated with a couple photos.

Pigsy had poked his head from the back of the door to see that very kid walk in warily. Once again, he felt the eyes of the kid's plush looking straight at him. The restaurant owner had a feeling the doll was magical as the kid spotted him in seconds.

"Hello there. Welcome to Pigsy's Noodles. Please sit down and I can get you a menu." Pigsy put on a soft smile since he really didn't want to scare off the poor kid. The unknown boy nodded before sitting himself at one of the bar's stools.

When the restaurant owner had come back with a menu in hand, the kid's Monkey King plush was sitting on the table almost perfectly. By perfectly it meant that the doll didn't slouch and sat straight with the same dexterity of a living being.

Pigsy shrugged the oddness off and gave the kid his menu. "How are you doing today?" The restaurant owner's question had the boy look a bit from his menu. Shrugging at the inquiry, the child answered. "I'm doing fine. May I have a bowl of chicken lo mein please?"

Pigsy didn't take the menu just yet but had gone to the back to fix the boy's food. As he made the order, the demon could hear his customer talk from outside the kitchen. Or sing to be more accurate. "An old toy sat on the desk watching the day go by. Missing cotton, tons of stitches, a cherished plaything looked to the sky. The toy said: I may be damaged but I am beloved. Even broken toys like me can be loved."

The restaurant owner paused for a moment. He never heard a nursery rhyme like that before. It was strange but in an endearing sort of way. Pigsy had come back with the kid's bowl of lo mein to see the child was shuffling a deck of cards in his hand.

The man didn't recognize the brand or had a good chance to look when the boy had placed them in a deck case and deposited it into a sewed-in pocket. "One fresh bowl of chicken lo mein, enjoy kid." Rubbing his hands happily, the child grabbed a pair of chopsticks and dug into his food.

Pigsy cleaned up the remaining dishes while his young customer ate his food in silence. Once the demon had come back, the child and plush were suddenly gone. Not even the doorbell had moved an inch almost if the boy just vanished. In his place was some money alongside a note.

"Thank you for the meal, it was delicious. Have a good night and sorry for sleeping in front of your shop the other day. From MK and my little buddy Guarn." After reading the note, the restaurant owner had softly smiled before taking both the paper and cash left behind.

It was the only beginning of a MK's nightly visits. Near closing time, Pigsy was greeted by the child and his peculiar plush. At first, the boy wasn't much of a conversationalist. Something worrying since most kids the pig demon saw weren't this quiet even around strangers.

MK was also never without his plush Guarn. Pigsy had a suspicion that the plush was magical as he always felt that those plastic eyes were very aware of their surroundings. Whenever the restaurant owner felt like the doll was watching him out of the boy's view, MK seemed to know his presence. Almost like a separate pair of eyes.

He didn't know the child's situation other than homelessness and maybe magical plush but he had a feeling there was more to it. MK will open up when he is ready and Pigsy was a patient person. The demon did add some extra portions to the young man's bowl though.

A growing child needed proper nutrition or their growth would be stunted. He may be rough but the restaurant owner was far from heartless. In less than two weeks, MK began to open up more. That was the same time one of his regulars had also come back.

This 'customer' was one of his human friends known as Tang. A raven haired man who considered himself a scholar of sorts, and didn't really pay for the noodles he kept eating. Normally Pigsy would chase any dine and dashers out of his establishment but Tang was someone he could trust.

The scholar had gotten him out of some nasty jams in the past and someone he could talk to whenever the demon's stress reached its peak. Now you can imagine Pigsy's surprise when he saw Tang chatting animatedly with MK. The child who rarely talked was now chatting the spectacle raven's ear off.

Once again, the feeling of the Monkey King plush or Guarn came apparent as the child faced the restaurant owner with a sheepish grin. "Hey Pigsy, I didn't know you had a kid." That one sentence from Tang had both the demon and kid sputtering in seconds.

Between the two of them, MK had found his words. "No Mr Tang. Mr Pigsy is just a very nice man who gives me extra food when he thinks I haven't noticed. Plus, I'm pretty sure he hasn't filed any adoption papers yet." MK said, that sheepish grin becoming mischievous as he made Guarn blow a kiss.

The scholar laughed at the restaurant owner's further flustering face almost if the whole thing was planned. Something that was plausible considering this was Tang of all people. "Very funny you little minxes. What were you guys even talking about since MK doesn't really talk much around me?"

Pigsy's question was met with the little boy shaking his head. "I didn't want to bother you since you were probably tired and closing up shop. Mr Tang and I were talking about different legends like the Monkey King for one." The pig demon blinked his eyes in surprise.

So the reason MK was so quiet is because the kid didn't want to bother him? How considerate. "I appreciate your concern but you don't have to be silent all the time. Whatever topic or thing that pops in your head, you can talk about it. Might not always answer but that doesn't mean I'm not listening." Pigsy explained, the child nodding thankfully at his words.

That was one mystery about the kid out of the way. Only for Tang to bring up another. "Do you know that little MK here is an incredible craftsman? Show him that design you were working on." Smiling, the kid pulled something out of his pockets.

It was an incomplete small red tapestry depicting a peach tree that sat above a collection of clouds. The restaurant owner could only gawk at the masterful detail and skill that could easily be seen throughout the work. Every detail was as accurate as a photograph and not a single thread out of place.

"Holy moly kid! You made this?! I'm pretty sure you just put every seamstress from the Celestial Realm to shame." MK beamed happily at the restaurant owner's compliment. The kid was definitely a hard worker and that showed through his craft.

Even though culinary and weaving were different crafts, Pigsy could see the hard work, skill and dedication of a fellow artisan. "Thank you! I also make clothing and toys in my spare time. A good way to earn money so I can enjoy more of your tasty food."

From seeing the tapestry alone, both adults had a feeling that MK's clothing and dolls were made with equal skill. It did raise a question though. "Is your outfit like a fashion statement then?" Tang gestured to the boy's patchwork clothing.

Pigsy hit the scholar on the elbow for the offhanded inquiry but the child didn't seem bothered. "It actually is. You see I make all my stuff from mostly scraps rather than fresh materials. 'One man's trash is another man's treasure' type of ideology. Also recycles a lot of stuff people throw away that can still be used." MK flashed them a big toothy smile alongside his explanation.

Both men hummed at the answer. Like any big city, Megapolis had an issue with littering so the place was practically a gold mine for crafty people such as the kid. "Let me take your guys' order, and MK… you don't have to come by so late all the time. Come whenever you can and if anyone gives you a problem then I'll handle it."

Pigsy could only smile at the ecstatic look in the kid's eyes before the child ran over to both men. After that particular night, MK began visiting sometimes around mid day. On occasion, the boy would bring some of the crafts that he made.

Beautiful red ribbons decorated with gold dragons, a jade green cheongsam that held a silver depiction of a nine tailed fox, some plushies consisting of a gray rat with a heart in its paws, an ornate doll that wore a beautiful crimson Chinese dress and a white rabbit with a mallet used to make moon cakes.

Every piece was extremely well made alongside a story that MK would share with Pigsy or Tang. The rat plush beared the story of a fallen rat who was given a chance to relive their last day, the ribbons were of two dragons that strive to be with each other for eternity, and cheongsam was for a prince who escaped the life of royalty to live with a earnest farmhand that won his heart.

It only made both adults wonder how a talented kind child like MK ended up living on the streets by their lonesome. On a warm summer night, Pigsy was cleaning the front of the shop. The little boy wanted to help out around the restaurant so the demon let him wash the dirty dishes. Tang was also in the shop regalling a particular urban legend around Megapolis: the Broken Toy Phantom.

"-the Broken Toy Phantom must be a type of poltergeist. A very rare occurrence that poltergeists would roam with their haunted possession but the information all leads up. I even speculate that the phantom could have been brought to life after the Great Megapolis Raceway Disaster." Pigsy kept quiet while cleaning the tables but listened to the scholar's theory tangent.

The restaurant door suddenly opened with a loud slam, the restaurant owner turned around to be met with a gun aimed at his head. Pigsy didn't have to look to know that Tang had his hands up in the air since the scholar was now silent. Of course the pig demon needed a robbery once in his life.

From the looks of it, there were only three armed robbers with two being men and one woman. A white deer mask, black ski mask, and a turban paired alongside a thick bandana hid their identities. Right now Pigsy was praying to Guanyin that they don't find MK.

The kid wouldn't be able to survive a bullet should these bastards get trigger happy. "Alright, you two fuckers better listen to our demands right now. Give us everything you own and Porky here can open the register." Spoke the deer masked robber, poking the barrel of the gun to the restaurant owner's back.

Reluctantly Pigsy walked over to the register and took out the key. He was about to open up when… BANG! Horrified blue eyes watched as Tang fell to his knees, blood pouring from a bullet hole in his leg. The pig demon saw Tang's phone on the ground before the turban wearing robber stomped it to pieces.

"Call for help again then the next shot will go through your head, Four Eyes." Spoke the black ski mask who cocked his gun to reinforce the threat. Pigsy wanted to run over to Tang, treat his wound or help him up. However, he couldn't unless both of them were looking to get shot.

And the two hostages felt their hearts drop upon one single sound. "Excuse me." Standing on top of the bar table was little MK. Strangely, Guarn wasn't in the kid's hands as both were crossed against his chest. A large frown and judging chocolate eyes of the unnaturally calm child were aimed at the three robbers.

"What are you doing to Mr Tang and Mr Pigsy?" MK's once kind lively voice was now dead and cold like a grave. Neither the scholar or restaurant owner couldn't help feeling unnerved at the sudden change in the kid. It felt so wrong. Something that none of the robbers had noticed.

"It's a robbery little dipshit!" A haunting laugh came out of the kid, MK's eyes were alight in a twisted glee paired alongside a malevolent smile presenting unnaturally sharp teeth. "I know what a robbery is, you sad excuse of human scum. What I'm asking is why none of you haven't left yet?"

All three of the criminals were caught off guard by the little boy's taunt. None of them felt the child's ominous aura unlike Pigsy and Tang. What stood before them wasn't the same little boy that they've gotten to know over the past two months.

This was Death in the form of a 10 year old kid. "You barely have any mercy from me after this whore shot my friend in the leg. Lucky you that I was in a good mood, leave now or suffer the consequences. Know that you only have one chance between all three of ya cowardly worms!"

Offended by MK's threat, one of the robbers, the turban-wearing woman, aimed her weapon at the child. "Say goodnight brat! You have no power over us! That petty threat will be your last!" Finger on the trigger as she was ready to shoot the boy.

MK, still unfazed, shook his head almost if he was disappointed at the woman's choice. Then his smile grew so wide that it nearly tore the sides of his mouth, an insane look burned in now orangish brown orbs. "I warned ya. Davy Jones." With no warning, two long violet tentacles shot out from the darkness behind MK.

Both appendages wrapped around the woman and the man who shot Tang as the third deer mask robber watched in growing horror at what stood before them. Standing behind the 10 year old with two of the robbers wrapped in thick violet tentacles was a giant 15 ft violet plush squid.

It's squid capped head had four of those cap ridges with red stripes but also three mini tomahawk blades on the center top, black squid eyes that positioned on the sides of the mouth which held sharp teeth and a pair of glowing magenta eyes within the darkness, six small light cyan underside violet tentacle bearing some tomahawk blades, and two triple sized tentacles that had a black armband bearing a white skull n bones on the larger right.

"YARRRG! Those who dare trifle with Captain MK shall face the blades of Davy Jones!" A gruff, lightly deep, and growlish male voice ripped the monstrous toy's open mouth. Both caught robbers let out a strangled cry from the tentacles tightening their grip.

Immediately the remaining robber quickly went to shoot the monster plush or MK only for his weapon to be snatched from his hand's grip. Deer mask slowly looked down at the floor to see his gun in the paws of a particular bug eyed Monkey King plush.

Tang, Pigsy and the robbers saw a pair of glowing red eyes stare at them from within the small toy's mouth. Guarn then bit into the barrel of the weapon, felt teeth easily tearing through the metal and plastic like a hot knife against butter.

The immense shock nearly made the scholar and restaurant owner almost miss MK delivering a jump kick to the deer masked robber. Enough strength behind the blow to not only shatter the robber's mask but knock em fully unconscious. Davy Jones tightened his grip further until the two snared robbers fell limp like their comrade.

Pigsy immediately ran over to Tang once knowing they were now safe. The little boy followed suit, his ominous aura gone while the large plush kraken harshly dropped the two robbers. "Mr Tang, please bite on this while I get the bullet out." MK handed the raven a red plush oven cloth.

Pigsy had to put the rag in the scholar's mouth as he was too busy staring in shock at MK's fingers. The index and ring fingers of the boy's hands were torn apart by black claws growing from inside. Tang let out a harsh muffled scream when those sharp obsidian claws dug into the wound.

After a few seconds, MK pulled out the bloody bullet. He dropped it to the ground so he could pull out a sewing kit and needle. "I'm guessing you're the Broken Toy Phantom." Pigsy spoke for Tang while the boy began to sew the wound close. The little brunette merely nodded as he thread the needle through the scholar's leg.

"Yep! Although I'm not really a poltergeist, just a newly minted toy demon. Didn't think I had to bring out any of my Frightfur family so soon. Honestly, I hope that I had more time to figure out how to introduce you guys." MK tore the thread off the needle once it was sewn tightly.

Neither adult said a word since the kid did have a point. A giant plush kraken bearing razor sharp teeth and tentacles that ended with large tomahawks wasn't exactly friendly looking. Or the implications that MK had more than one of these peculiar beings.

Both men's thoughts on the subject were derailed in surprise when the sewed up bullet wound shrunk until unmarred skin was left. "Healing Suture Thread, perfect for minor to serious injuries. It works on humans too rather than just Frightfurs, Fluffals or Edge Imps." The little boy turned to see Davy Jones finish tying up the three attempted robbers.

Guarn waddled over to the brunette, climbing up the kid's clothes then situated itself on MK's shoulder. Tang took the rag out of his mouth and suddenly hugged the toy demon much to the latter's surprise. "We're just glad you're okay. You gave us both a heart attack back there with that stunt."

Davy Jones let out a hearty laugh from the flustered look on his smaller companion's face. Pigsy couldn't help the chuckle that came out of his throat to the little boy's further surprise. Soon enough, MK found himself laughing with them as he hugged the scholar back.

If this was a dream, then he didn't want to wake up. Moments like this should last as long as they can.

And that's it! MK has officially met Pigsy and Tang. I can say that the MK you are seeing at the moment...is more than he seems to be. Something that will be looked over in the next chapter.

Tang and Pigsy are going to take more fatherly roles involving our newly minted toy demon. A factor being MK's age and situation when they first met.

MK will be 21 when I get into the LMK series and there will be changes to particular episodes or plot pilots. Any major changes will have the episode title be replaced with a song.

Now people have been wondering MK's actual age in canon out of general curiosity and a certain pairing called Peachnoodles for certain artists and writers have been frowned upon. The driving law in China requires the person to be 19 in order to legally drive, so MK has to be 19 or a bit older in canon.

I hope this clears stuff up for ya curious folk.

The song used for this chapter is 'Bleed, I must be Dreaming' by Evanescence. Actually thought of using Evanescence's Imaginary but this felt more suited.

Will be going over the remaining Fluffals before we reach the next chapter for Broken Toys! Stove Novas next chapter is in the review stage so be on the lookout for that next! I'll see you guys back at Megapolis.

Song used👇

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[mediocre--writing]

The One Where Bucky’s Not Ready (Headcannon)

Bucky Barnes X Neutral!Teeange!Reader

(also kinda Reader X boyfriend)

Summary: You’re Bucky’s kid and one of the most mature, intelligent kids ever, but when you don’t come home after Winter Formal, Bucky flips out. (Based on season 1, episode 9 of Gilmore Girls)

Word Count: 1670

Warnings: Allusion to doing the dirty, but nothing mature

so, you’re like the best child known to man

like you have one of the best GPAs in your school

(and the state, lets be honest here)

you have never done anything wrong in your life, aside from like maybe yell at someone

(but it was 9th grade and they shouldn’t have been bullying the sweet, little, harmless, unwillingly outed gay boy in homeroom)

ANYWAY

it’s finally 11th grade and you get to go to the upperclassmen dances

like the winter formal and prom

fun times, dancing, music, and best of all, free food

you’re also going with your first boyfriend and you bought a new outfit that was a deep blue with a white mesh that sparkles like stars on the bottom

so you were excited to say the least

BUT

bucky has been dreading this day

he’s been dreading this day for a WHILE

because his little baby is growing up and they look beautiful but they’re going with a BOY

so you could say he’s a bit nervous

possibly a bit paranoid

no

completely and utterly horrified because HIS PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY and A BOY are driving THEMSELVES to a sparsely supervised high school dance

and he KNOWS what can happen at high school dances

oh yeah

he, too, was a kid once (hard to believe but true)

but he let you go

he did a bit of a background check on the sketchy looking boy but apparently he’s still just an ‘innocent little 17-year old boy’

he thinks that’s bull crap

and he asked tony to check but he just doesn’t think it’s right

so he had virtually no excuse to not let you go

he tried

“but what if he’s a bad driver?”

“are you sure he’s really that nice? he could be faking”

“but what if [insert ridiculous dad-type thing he’d say here]

it was endless

but when your date came to the door and your face lit up with a childish grin, bucky knew that he couldn’t hold you back anymore

you were growing up

it didn’t mean he would stop worrying

because it’s bucky and he’s never NOT worried once in his damn life

like have you met steve???

he has reason to believe you’d get into some sort of mess

but he couldn’t stop you from doing things anymore

so he reminds you of something that you forgot to grab earlier

and gives the boy a “sTeRn tAlKiNg tO”

more like a few death threats followed by sarcastic chuckles

and serial killer glares

but once you returned from upstairs, it was all fine and dandy

albeit your fidgeting date

so you went off with your boyfriend and had a wonderful time at the dance

you both ate more than you should have

you danced together

even a slow dance that was incredibly awkward and you both MAY have stepped on each others toes

six times

...each

but it was fine

and to your dads surprise, you weren’t exceedingly drunk by the time people were leaving

‘cause you didn’t drink anything but water

because you’re a goodie-two-shoes

but you still know how to have fun!!!

but you guys weren’t tired, and it was only 10:30

and bucky said you didn’t have to be back until midnight

so you did the rational thing

and went to mcdonald’s

because you’re growing children and need all the nourishment you can get

(“mcdonald’s isn’t providing any sort of nourishing food” “shut up steven”)

but you guys had fun

and you went on your way back home

but you forgot you had left your laptop at the avengers compound

and so you made a quick stop before heading home

but since it was closer to midnight than you thought, nobody knew you had gone in to grab something

and as you made your way up to the guest wing where you would do homework in between yours or your fathers training

and you grabbed your laptop

but your date flopped on the bed like a giddy child, bouncing up and down

“did you know this room had a wAtErBeD?!?!”

the buffoon

but you just chuckled as he laid down

he sat against the headboard and threw his hands behind his head

hitting a panel

which turned on the flashing LED lights and the tv that appeared seemingly out of the wall

ya boi was having heart palpitations for this room

he wasn’t even coherent at this point

just giggling and bouncing on the waterbed

but he had the CUTEST SMILE

and he was smiling so bright the crows feet around his eyes made an appearance

so you took of your shoes because

“damnit heels HURT after hours of dancing”

and you jumped on the bed with him

and you guys laid there for a moment

or what you thought was a moment

because you were both giggling

then you both had fallen asleep

but bucky trusted you and he was asleep by 9:45 that night

because he knew you would be home on time

oh boy oh boy oh boy

when he woke up to his phone ringing

and it was steve asking if he wanted to go on an early morning run

bucky was already in a bad mood

but agreed to go

so he went downstairs to check on you in your room

but oh boy the bed is empty

and bucky’s thinking rationally like you’re probably safe at a friends or whatever

but he’s never had the talk with you

he thinks you’ve mentioned it to natasha at some point or another

but he’s never addressed it

and he DOES NOT WANT YOU DOING MATURE THINGS AT 16

he doesn’t want to be a grandpa yet

he’s barely gotten used to the father thing and he’s been a father for like 16 years

but he’s not READY FOR THAT

AND NEITHER ARE YOU

but little does he know that while he’s talking to steve on the phone while freaking out

that tony motherfuckin stark is laughing his ass off because he can hear steve and bucky talking because steve’s phone’s volume is always way too loud

(#OldPeopleThings)

and he can hear steve trying to reassure bucky that

“the child was raised by assassins she’s PROBABLY NOT DEAD”

but tony’s just looking at his guest room where there are flashing LED lights still on and two (FULLY DRESSED and obviously very tired) teenagers sleeping on a waterbed

so he goes to steve and pulls him by the back of the shirt to the guest room and just points

and steve snorts (very loudly), which wakes up the kiddos

and bucky is SCREAMING

like no filter cussing out steve because

“WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING I DONT WANT GRANDKIDS YET AND MY KID IS GONE”

but once you’re fully awake and realize that the sun is up, you’re not in your room, and steve and tony and YOUR BOYFRIEND are in a room with you

and your eyes widen

and then you realize

you fucked up.

so you grab your heels and phone and BOLT out that door

you don’t even have your car because you drove with your date

but you sprint to tony’s garage

because you can apologized or taking one of his cars later but you can’t do that if your dad kills you

so you’re def speeding

because you’ve never done anything bad and you can’t have this make your dad not trust you anymore

but back at the compound your bf and steve and tony are all talking to bucky on speakerphone

which is an event in itself

“barnes your kid is in my car driving to your house”

“no! i wanna talk to the BOY!”

said boy is terrified

“mr. barnes, bucky, james, sergeant, sir i didn’t do anything with y/n i promise”

“i don’t trust him! steve is he lying????”

“how the fuck am i supposed to know i’ve met the kid like three times?”

***exasperated sigh***

“wait she just pulled into the driveway!”

so you come inside

still holding your shoes you never bothered to put on

and bucky is just standing there

watching you

with his serial killer eyes

the ones that don’t scare you

or so you thought

“so.....

[dramatic pause]

where were you???”

and jeeze you’ve never talked faster than that moment

any and all of the speeches you’ve given are noting compared to the utter BULLSHIT coming out of your mouth right now

and your shaking and bucky realizes then

you’d never do anything like that yet

he’s being an overprotective dad

because you still ask him to drive your own car

and you still ask him to braid your hair when you want it to look SUPER GOOD

and you aren’t a complete idiot

and even if you DID DO IT, you would’ve been smart about it

and he realizes that you’re perfect

and that even though you’re a teenager you are more mature than most adults 

so he does the smart thing

he takes the shoes and your phone out of your hands gently

sets them on the table by the door

and he hugs you

really tight

LIKE REALLY TIGHT

“dad you’re hurting me”

he lets go and has tears in his eyes

“i know you didn’t do anything but you’re growing up and i’m gonna miss my baby”

and you tear up a bit

and bucky’s phone rings

it’s steve

but it’s NOT

ITS BOYFRIEND

“sir i swear we didn’t do anything. we fell asleep and mr america said that i should call you but i didn’t have your number and he gave me his phone and i’m really sorry but don’t make us break up because i REALLY like y/n and she’s important to me and i don’t want to lose them yet and i just feel awful”

and bucky hangs up in the middle of THAT

and texts steve

“tell that kid to calm down nothings gonna happen to him

...

......

unless he does it again”

[100layersofdaddyissues]

angel - Chapter 1 (reupload)

hi so ive only just noticed this morning that the first chapter of angel was deleted somehow so here is the re-upload for anyone whose been looking for it. 

warnings: smut, drug use 

word count: 4.2K

  No one could tell you how you should feel. And although so many had tried, none had been able to successfully warn you of the danger that came with being involved with Maxwell Lord. It was well known that the man ruled over everything the light touched. That power is what attracted you to him in the first place. He was strong and competent (for the most part) and above all, he was rich. Initially, that’s really all that mattered to you. You’d never been the type of young woman to show a romantic interest in the people you dated.Iit didn’t matter whether they were attractive or nice, just so long as they had connections and enough cash to spare. Then you were theirs for as long as you could stand them.

     Truth be told, you’d never really considered Max a target; it’s no secret there was an age gap there. And admittedly, you thought he would be the type to want to settle down and get married soon. That truly did not interest you in the slightest. Your story with Maxwell began like any other of your “relationships”, you just happened to be in his vicinity on a fateful day. In the dark corner of a dingy club, just on the outskirts of the downtown red light district. You didn’t have any hope of a fruitful encounter. It wasn’t the most high class so you had of course assumed that no one of monetary worth would be lurking in this place. With a sticky floor and bartenders that, for a few dollars more, would look the other way when it came to what went into pretty girls drinks. Just breathing the air in this postcode would taint one’s reputation. 

As you stood in your dark corner you observed the girls in their mini skirts, shaking their ass in hopes of some free drinks, or maybe a reason not to have to go home that night., h There he was, Maxwell Lord himself. It surprised you to find him staring you dead in the eyes. You let your eyes shamelessly drag down his form. Standing tall in a perfectly tailored powder blue suit with his blonde hair slicked back as it always was. His height and broad stature towered above the skinny men who haunted this club with their presence. All of them wishing to be akin to Mick Jagger or Robert Plant, though the only resemblance was the big hair and the ominous white powder that they had carelessly neglected to wipe off their noses. Maxwell was staring at you with some sort of intent in his eyes.

     You held his gaze for a moment longer, observing the man in his glory, you turned away your head. Before you could see him start to make his way to you,  you returned your eyes to their previous spot. He was gone.Your eyes darted back and forth searching for where he had disappeared, when a breathy voice made its way into your ear.

      “Are you looking for someone, doll?”

  It was no louder than a whisper, it could barely be heard over the pounding of Michael Sembello’s Maniac, but it was so distinguished you didn’t even have to turn your head to know where or who it came from. And yet when you did, you still felt surprised seeing him stand there, a sultry glint in his eyes.  ”Why did he come to speak to you?” you wondered.

      “Well I was, but it seems like he found me before I found him.” You said with what you had hoped sounded like seduction dripping from your voice.

  “Have you got a name? Or should I just call you angel, because from where I’m standing that’s really the only name that would honour someone as breathtaking as you.” 

 Logically, you knew he was coming onto you. You’d been club hopping all night, cocaine and ecstasy mixed with sweat dripping from your pores, you knew he couldn’t be serious in thinking you looked that good. But you can’t help but have been allured to his reputation as a powerful business man, and even more powerful lover.

      “My name is Y/N but if you’d like to call me Angel that’s perfectly fine with me.”

 “Well Y/N it’s a pleasure to meet someone as beautiful as you, I’m Ma- “

 “Mr. Lord, trust me, I am well aware of who you are. I don’t think anyone in here wouldn’t know you, except maybe him.” you say pointing to the old man who clearly misinterpreted the vibe of the club walking in, seeing as he was sitting at the bar with his head on the counter almost definitely asleep.

 “You make an excellent point, maybe someone should probably try waking him up, it's almost concerning.” He says with a deep chuckle, as you join in giggling with him.

 “I’m going to reason with you here Y/N. I’m very bored and you’re very beautiful. So would you like to leave with me? I’ve got an apartment just a block away.You can come back with me, and maybe keep me company?” 

 As he spoke, Maxwell moved his face closer to you until his face was merely an inch or so from your face. You barely needed to nod before he grabbed your hand leading you out of the club, into the cold of the night.

     Within minutes you were standing out the front of his apartment building. Beginning to feel the cool air tint your skin a shade of purple, you can't imagine you would have been very attractive. The heat of the lobby hit you as the doorman greeted you, opening the door and telling ‘Mr Lord’ to have an excellent morning, huh, morning, you hadn’t even considered that you’d be been out that long, but alas looking at the big grandfather clock at the back of the lobby you read 4:20.

     When approaching the elevator, you saw Maxwell slightly flick his head and the attendant left the small space with a smile. You assumed it was a usual occurrence for him to not question why Maxwell was telling him to leave, although you didn’t doubt you were the first person for him to be bringing back to his home. You were standing in the elevator quite awkwardly while Maxwell pushed the number of his floor in. 135. You were suddenly grateful that you lacked a fear of heights, as you pondered whether that was a rational fear to have or not, Maxwell was once again very close to your face.

      “I know I’ve already told you quite a few times tonight, but you are absolutely stunning, can I kiss you?” His tone was surprisingly sincere as he spoke in a hushed tone.

      “I never really pegged you as the asking type Maxwell.” You said mischievously thinking it would lighten the mood. 

 But he stayed serious as he said “just because I’m a dick doesn’t mean your consent isn’t important to me” 

 You were stunned. But the moment you said yes, his demeanour changed and he smashed his lips to yours. It was rough and passionate and everything you’d expected in the beginning. Hot and fiery, but definitely careless. He was dominating you already, and you knew in that moment that you were in for a rough night.

     The elevator door opened with a light ding, revealing what looked like a mansion. It was easily at least 30 times bigger than your own apartment. You walked around with amazement spread across your face,  unable to contain your awe of the beauty that is this place. Your eyes trailed around the room and suddenly landed on the view of the city, you walked toward the floor to ceiling windows in what you assumed to be the living room. 

“This is absolutely incredible Max!  I can’t believe you live in a place like this!” you said with amazement and wonderment dripping from your voice.

      “Actually I don’t live here, I just have this place for when I’m going clubbing and can’t be bothered calling my driver to take me home. I live in the middle of the city, just over there.” Max said as he came up behind you to point at the tallest building in the skyline. 

 Your eyes widened in wonder and amusement, as he started to kiss your neck

  “Well maybe I could see that place sometime then?” 

 He abruptly stopped kissing you. 

  “No, no one goes there but family, I don’t take anyone to my home. You understand?”

 Though it kind of stung that he was so abrupt about it, you nodded in understanding. You didn’t care enough to be hurt that he didn’t want to show you his home, as far as you were concerned you’d never see this place again either. This was a one night stand, you didn’t care whether it happened again or not.

     With that, he spun you around and smashed his lips against yours with such force you felt his teeth snag your bottom lip without even realising. You stumbled over your feet as Maxwell pulled you from the wall. He started pushing you in what you could only assume was the direction of the bedroom. He reached behind you and fumbled with the door knob to push you through what you would discover tomorrow to be an ornate archway. When your legs hit the back of the bed, he pushed you off him and stood so tall over you, so dominating in stance. Your mouth and pussy began to water with anticipation. There was a promise of an unforgettable time that gleamed in his lust-blown eyes. His hair was a mess as he took his suit jacket off and his tie, rolling his sleeves up he looked the image of sex. As he grabbed your legs to pull you to the edge of the bed roughly, he locked eyes with yours. Keeping his gaze, you felt him trace a path that led up your legs, to your thighs, to your hips, where he slowly dragged your lace underwear down and promptly pocketed it. You weren’t going to ask for them back; you wanted him to remember you.

  “Sit up, take your dress off, and lay back down at the edge of the bed” his tone was domineering and forceful, you did exactly as you were told. 

 As he watched you with attentive eyes, he knelt down next to the bed as you lay back down, he put his hands around the back of your thighs and pulled you so close that his nose brushed against your clitoris. He was so close you could feel his breath and you were so aroused that it was already stimulating you just to feel those tiny puffs of air.

      You began squirming in place, whining “Maxwell, please, I’m begging you to do something!” 

 “I do so love a needy baby girl, but the more you beg, the more I’m going to torture you doll.” 

 His voice was seductive, but you knew his threat was anything but; he meant business. You wished with all your might that there would be another opportunity where you could test his threat, but right now you needed an orgasm and you needed it quick. So you did what you did best: Be a Good Little Girl. So you shut your mouth and nodded your head. 

 “No no angel, I want to hear your words. What do you have to say for yourself? Hmm?” 

 “I’m sorry I’ll be quiet and I wont whine, sir”

      “Sir? You learn quickly, I might just have to keep you,” you couldn’t lie, you wish it didn’t excite you as much as it did to hear him say that he wanted to keep you. He was exactly your type, powerful and rich, you wanted to be kept by him.

 After what felt like an eternity, his mouth finally attached itself to you. He wasted no time going absolutely feral on your clit, licking and sucking and the slight bite here and there. It was absolute euphoria. He didn’t waste any time before shoving two fingers deep into your cunt. He curled them in just the right way for it to hit your spot, and you felt a jolt course through your body. You were kicking yourself for wasting time on the young socialites in the city who couldn’t eat pussy for shit; when it was clear the older they were, the more gained experience. This held exceptionally true with Max. Within minutes you could feel the familiar knot building in the pits of your stomach, and it was only moments before he was coaxing you to orgasm with his fingers while his mouth tried to tie a knot into your clit with his tongue. Never has a man made you come from any sort of sexual encounter. You were already shaking when his face raised itself from your pussy as he started kissing his way back up your body, you didn’t know how long you’d be able to last with him fucking you if his dick was as good as his mouth.

     “I’ve never had such a pretty thing like you react in such an explosive way to my mouth, are you just trying to stroke my ego angel?” his face was mere centimetres from yours as you heaved out heavy breaths just trying to compose yourself enough to speak actual words instead of loud moans and quiet whines.

  “No that was nothing short of incredible. I’m not the type of woman to fake it. That was fucking incredible, I’ve never had an experience like that that wasn’t caused by my own hand.” 

 He chuckled lowly before saying, “well now I know you’re just trying to inflate me. You think that was good just you wait doll. You’ve got a long morning ahead of you.” And you didn’t doubt it.

 Beginning to reach down, you paused halfway to silently ask for permission to touch him. He said nothing but simply grabbed your hand to place on his chest, letting you explore whatever and wherever you wanted. You traced muscles and planes of skin that would have caused Micheangelo to swoon, himself. Lower and lower you ventured, until you met the border between his pants and the rest of him. Silently and instinctively, you looked up at him and asked for permission again.

  “Go on Baby Doll, take it off.” 

You woke up groggy that afternoon, you turned over to see the bed, empty, though you weren’t surprised, you were however surprised to see yourself still at the apartment, usually you left immediately after the person fell asleep, but here you were bundled up under warm covers being weighed down by the doona struggling to find your way out. You walked your way around the apartment, trying to find the bathroom, when you happened upon Max, sitting in a big sofa chair out on his balcony smoking a cigarette, only in his suit pants from the night before, again this was something that surprised you, oud never thought Maxwell to be someone who waits around for his encounters to wake, you had him pegged as someone who would just leave a  note and never see the person again.

           “good morning angel, how did you sleep?” you hadn’t even realised he knew you were awake, he hadn’t turned to see you, you stuttered for a moment before saying, “after last night I’m surprised I even woke up before tomorrow, I’ve never been that worn out after sex.” Your voice was quiet, almost timid, you weren’t sure why, you were never intimidated by men usually. But when they make you orgasm; they have a power you’ve never encountered before.

           “I’m going to be honest here darling, I’m not here for a relationship and if I was I wouldn’t have tried finding one in that bar but that pussy was magic and I’m not very willing to let it go just yet, so I have a proposition for you. You’re a beautiful young woman, I’d like to see you again, whenever I want, I'll take your number and I will call you. Do you have a job that will hinder you from coming at any time of day?” His tone made you feel like you were one of his business partners, like he was making a transaction.

           “I work in marketing at Halo Corp, so I would assume that would be a hindrance”

           “you work at Halo Corp? the competition to my own business? Run by Henry Giorgio? Yeah that won’t do, you work in marketing you said?” you nodded meekly as he walked towards his phone, as he dialled in a number and greeted someone called Grace. Catching the phrases “fire him,” “I don’t care” “no I have a replacement already” and then he hung up. “there you go Doll, now call Henry tell him you have a new job, you’re working for me” you were stunned, was he doing this just to have you close so that you could service him whenever? Of course, he was. You wondered how many people worked for Maxwell merely for his convenience. You assumed the “Grace” he spoke to was definitely one of his “conveniences” but he, you weren’t going to complain about the opportunity to work in the biggest company in the city.

           “I’ll get on that when I get home, I don’t know the number for my boss, but thank you for the opportunity that company fucking sucks” you said with amusement in your voice, you really did hate working at Halo, there was no respect from higher ups for the people who actually ran their company.

           “right well i'll let you go do that now, I have to go to lunch with an associate, did you need a ride home?” “oh no it's okay I could walk or take a cab” you say not wanting to burden him, well or let him know where you lived.

           “nonsense I’m calling my driver and we’ll drop you off on the way in, you my want to get dressed though, I don’t think you’d want anyone to see you wrapped up in a sheet on the street” you looked down at yourself and agreed before heading to the bedroom to retrieve your clothes from the night before.

           When Max said he would call his driver for some reason you expected a limousine to pull up, but yet here you were standing on the curb in front of a 1974 Rolls Royce silver shadow, you were in awe. You’d barely noticed that Max was pushing you slightly towards the opened door as you stood and started at the beautiful car, “come on doll, it's just a car you’ll see plenty lets go'' you blushed In slight embarrassment at how easily you he could tell you were in awe and how he could care less about the car he drove in, though you suspect had never driven it himself.

           On the way to your apartment Max really only spoke on the car phone, planning something more important than you could comprehend, when he wasn’t on the phone he was asking about you, nothing interesting or caring, like your hobbies or your family, no he was asking for your full name and social security number, setting up your employee business account with Lord Industries.

           Soon the car was pulling to a stop outside of your apartment building, you looked up at it from the window of the car, the building was falling apart, the walls were cracking and foundations were sinking, many of the windows had bars on them, the fire escapes that went down the side of the building were all rusted in place and no longer usable. You looked back at max who was staring out the window with a furrow in his brow, his face looked unusually stern and still, he looked down at you with concern in his eyes, “surely you don’t live here? Not while working for Halo?” he said with concern laced in his voice, you just laughed at his insinuation that working for halo would have any bearing on where you lived. “yeah this is where I live, it’s really all I can afford to be honest with you, Halo doesn’t pay that well at all, most of the money we make goes to Henry and his associates.”

           “nope that’s not gonna work, come on, take me to your apartment, Darius keep the car running we're going to my apartment on west 22nd Miss Y/L/N won’t be staying here.”

“wait what do you mean I won’t be staying here?” you said in absolute confusion=on, it didn’t make sense to you why he would be making you leave. “Well it’s clearly not safe here and it wouldn’t rest well on my conscience if I left here with you staying, come on, get your essentials for the night and then I’ll have Darius come pick you up tomorrow morning to move the rest of your things, you’re not staying here.”

“No really it's too much for you to lend me one of your homes” you tried to argue. 

“This is not only for your safety but for mine, if i come to you needing your services I can't be seen here nor can i risk being around anyone who lives here” 

           You felt slightly offended at the way he spoke about the people who lived here, you lived here, this had been your home for months but you really couldn’t argue with him, you didn’t know how, you didn’t really want to, the people who lived here were a horrible crowd and if Maxwell Lord was offering you one of his apartments to stay in then you take the offer. You grabbed your toiletries, some clothes for tomorrow and pyjamas and you back out the door before you could even check for your pack of cigarettes, Max telling you that he’ll buy you more if you left now. He was in a rush clearly.

           Darius dropped max off first, with a polite nod and a ‘ill see you soon’ he left out the door of the car into the restaurant “La Chambre Du Salaud” French is always fancy. You sat silent in the backseat, not really knowing the etiquette as one of Max’s girls.

           “Miss, would you like some dinner? Max is never good at feeding himself and I doubt he fed you, he doesn’t keep any food in his other apartments.” The driver, Darius, spoke up from the front seat. Now that you thought about it you were starving, absolutely fanging. “I would love that, but I wouldn’t want to be a burden.” You said quietly, you truly didn’t want to come off as a burden. “nonsense if Max is letting you stay in one of his houses, I’m sure he would be okay with you having a meal. We’ll stop wherever you like.” You agreed to dinner at McDonalds, not wanting to put Darius out, he asked you a few things about your family and what you’re doing in the big city while you ate, “well originally I’m from Pennsylvania but there’s nothing going on down there, no one can make a name of themselves there, especially not from my small town, I wanted to be someone, and when I realised that that was a pipe dream and I realised I couldn’t go back, not couldn’t really, more so wouldn’t, I’ve seen the bright lights, I want to stay in the concrete towers forever, I decided that working for a good corporation would let me stay for as long as I was working well.” It was true, mostly, you did sleep your way up at Halo, but you did work hard for some of those promotions, no one gets to the head of anything from just sucking dick.

           “Mr Lord isn’t the biggest fan of that halo company you might have shown him a real good time last night, oh don’t blush miss I’m his driver I’ve seen far worse in the back of my cars.” He was right, you were redder than a rose, you could feel the heat spread across your cheeks, you weren’t sure why, you had slept with many people, and been caught with a fair few, maybe it was the fact that Darius was so distinguished, he felt trustworthy and for some reason you didn’t want him to think badly of you. “Come on Miss, we should get you back, you should sleep or at least rest. I’m sure Mr Lord did quite the number on you, I'll be back to pick you up in the morning, around 10 although you can call me earlier if you’d like.”

           After getting to the apartment you noticed that Darius was right, no food, honestly it looked like no one had ever been in there before, it was so pristine it was almost like a hotel, you wondered how many women had brought here but you decided dwelling on it didn’t really mattered, you didn’t really care anyway.

           You set up what little clothes you had brought in the closet, the toothbrush in the bathroom and then you found your way to bed. 

@innerstrawberrypolice​

[kurodachimagic]

Chocolate and Cherries - Chapter 1

Summary: When Adachi falls into the arms of a kind stranger his life changes for the better.

Rating: Pg 13

Tags/warnings: Fluff, getting together, au, Writer Adachi, Chef Kurosawa.

Word count: 6.2k

A/n: This story was written for the cherry magic mini bang! Thank you @hiwatari-art for inviting me to join! Had a lovely time working with you as always. Thank you to my other artist over on twitter guacagabs. The entire story is being posted right now. Thank you to @schnaf for being a great friend and beta!

Read on ao3

Adachi dragged his feet on the pavement as he made his way home from work. He was already too exhausted to start his writing day with the best mindset but it would have to do. He’d already skipped four days this week and if he didn’t actually sit down to work on his book, it would never be published. He let out a deep sigh and shook his head slightly.

The situation was not ideal by any means, he was not great at cooking and it was already too late to start dinner, but he definitely needed to eat something or his mind would absolutely quit on him, he knew that much.

Adachi knew he should probably get something healthier but he refused to waste even more time walking to the store, so he decided to stop by the food cart near his flat for his usual emergency menu: two tuna onigiris with mayo - along with a can of soda in the hopes that the caffeine would boost his creativity. He was not too happy about it, but he didn’t have much time to contemplate his choice because as soon as he had paid, the first few droplets of water hit his shoulders. Looking up, he felt the next few drops hit his nose and his forehead. He cursed inwardly and simply took off awkwardly running the last few blocks home, trying his best not to slip and fall, his dress shoes nothing but a hazard in this particular situation.

The building door was so close, he could see it through the pouring rain; just a few meters and he would be home. Adachi rushed, his hand extended already to grab at the door handle when his body collided with something - someone - and fell backwards. It was as if time had slowed down; he could see the face of the person he ran into frozen in shock, his eyes widening as he saw Adachi falling, while Adachi could only think about the pain this would cause him, physical, yes, but mostly emotional. He always managed to get himself in embarrassing situations and now -

His neighbour extended his hand just in time to catch Adachi’s and pulled him upright effortlessly, his expression switching from shock to a relieved smile. “Are you ok? I’m so sorry, I hadn’t seen you.”

“Thank you! I’m so sorry,” Adachi said, feeling the heat rise to his face, partly because of his clumsiness and partly because his neighbour had not let go of him yet. In fact, Adachi could have sworn that the guy was rubbing his thumb on the back of his hand. He didn’t know what to do, so he tried again. “Uh, sorry. I should’ve been more careful.”

“It’s ok, I’m glad that you didn’t get hurt.” The man seemed to suddenly remember they were standing in the pouring rain and pulled Adachi to the door. “Come, you’ll catch a cold in this weather.”

No matter how hard he thought, Adachi couldn't remember ever catching his name but he had seen this man before in the elevator and in some of the common areas. He seemed to be a bit of a recluse, much like himself.

The man opened the door and finally let go of his hand before ushering him in. “After you, Adachi.”

Adachi’s eyes widened; he didn't know how the man knew his name, but he didn’t mention it. He walked inside and called the elevator, followed closely by his saviour. Once the doors opened, he stepped in and turned around, pressing the button for the fifth floor and finally facing the man. "Thank you, again…" he trailed off.

"Kurosawa. My name is Kurosawa." He pressed the fourth-floor button.

Adachi smiled and bowed to him. "It was nice seeing you, Kurosawa. Have a good night."

The elevator dinged and Kurosawa bowed with a smile before exiting. “Good night, Adachi,” he waved.

Adachi hesitantly waved back as the elevator doors closed. Before he knew it he was one floor up, opening the door to his flat, throwing his work bag on the sofa and taking his wet clothes off with a groan before going to the bathroom.

What a day. Not only had he stayed late to finish on that project Urabe had handed to him but he also made himself look like a fool in front of his very cool neighbour, and to add insult to injury now he needed a hot shower to hopefully avoid catching a cold. He shook his head and hopped under the stream, washing himself thoroughly and letting the hot stream relax his muscles.

Feeling in a bit of a better mood, Adachi got out of the shower, wrapped himself in a towel and went about getting into a comfy set of pyjamas. He finally sat at his desk and opened the white doc of doom, checking the time and cursing as he realized it was 9 pm already. He slouched in his chair, throwing his head back with a groan. This book was going to take a million years at this rate, he really needed to prioritize his schedule, put on some good hours into it each day, especially during the weekend, he needed to -

Adachi’s stomach growled loudly, reminding him that his emergency dinner laid abandoned in its bag. He got up and stomped over to the sofa, unwrapping the onigiris and eating them without so much as a thought before returning to his spot. He promptly sat down to continue with the daily task of staring at the document while he begged his brain to type something - anything - out. But his mind had other plans though, Kurosawa’s face and gentle smile kept popping in his mind. Maybe it was because of the way he moved, how he had kept him from falling with his sharp reflexes, or maybe it was how elegant he looked even when he was soaking wet, how well his suit fitted him. Kurosawa was like some sort of superhero, or… no, he was more like a Prince Charming from an epic battle world. That was a start - it was not the murder mystery he had thought about, but it was definitely a start.

The sound of Adachi’s footsteps worked like a metronome, helping his mind settle into a rhythm. He was starting to see things in more detail: The brave prince paced in his castle, his sword close by his side, the problems his kingdom was facing were almost too much to bear and with his father on the brink of death, it was all on him. A shadow appeared above the citadel - the… the… ‘kingdom x’ was being attacked by a three-headed dragon. How would he fix this and save his people? Had someone sent the dragon or did it act with free will? Did the soon-to-be king have secret magic powers? Maybe they were a secret even to himself!

With renewed energy and excitement, Adachi sat down to work. This new world just wanted to be written, to become a reality, and he was not going to stop it. Aided by the occasional sip of soda and a few “stretching breaks” that were more like actual pacing, he managed to draft four thousand words by 5 am, effectively breaking his 3 thousand word record from just a few months ago. If he could keep up the pace he could finish the book within the next month and send it to Tsuge for editing and review. He sent a quick text to his friend to tell him the good news and got into bed; he would probably regret staying up so late tomorrow, but now he didn’t have it in him to care. Writing was definitely his call - even if he was very close to missing his goal of being a published author by 30.

---

The commute to work was nothing short of hell. The morning started with Adachi missing his usual train and having to take the next one during rush hour - not that he ever managed to avoid rush hour, but he usually took the first train during it so it wasn’t as crazy as later in the morning. This resulted in him having a very unpleasant ride, squeezed half to death between the sea of people, feeling like a canned sardine with a bad case of insomnia. That was the other issue, the previous writing night ended up being a success but even though he’d been exhausted by the time he was done, it had been impossible to fall asleep. Now he was on his way to a long workday with a pounding headache and a sour mood. If given the opportunity, Adachi would’ve chosen to take the day off to sleep and feel refreshed enough by sundown to continue writing.

His job was definitely a necessary evil, but sometimes he couldn’t help but resent it. On the verge of thirty, Adachi spent most of his day at the office, writing his reports, Urabe’s reports, and occasionally picking up the slack of some of his colleagues. There was barely any time for hobbies or relaxing and least of all to be an aspiring writer. To be completely honest, Adachi had started viewing his day job as his second career in the past year. His heart and soul were focused on his new goal, what he really wanted. In the end, if writing didn’t become his main income, it wouldn’t matter, he was passionate enough about it to continue no matter what. After all, living in the fantasy worlds he created was more than enough for him.

Adachi made it to his desk just on time, but running those last few blocks only served to make his mood even sourer. He pulled at the collar of his shirt with a small huff, still thinking about his writing and leaned back in his chair until it touched Urabe’s shoulder, startling him.

He turned around swiftly, blush already rising to his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Senpai.”

Urabe nodded and waved him off. Then, he cocked his head and looked at Adachi in more detail. “What is going on with you, Adachi? You look tired.”

“I just had trouble sleeping last night, that’s all,” Adachi said with a heavy sigh. He could picture so many things he would rather do than give explanations about his personal life, but he would feel too guilty if he was rude to Urabe when he was only worried about him.

“Hmm, are you sure that’s all?”

“Yes. I’m ok.” He attempted his best smile. “Thank you for asking.”

“Adachi,” Urabe pouted, his brows burrowed into a childish frown, just like every time he would ask Adachi to take on more work, any semblance of concern already gone out the window. “Can you finish this report for tomorrow? The boss is really piling stuff on my shoulders and I already had other plans for today.”

Sometimes Adachi wished he was a bad person, or a bad colleague even, but he couldn’t help taking on the extra work when it was needed, after all, he didn’t have much of a life. He rolled his eyes but nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Oh, wait. Is your birthday today or tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

“And you’re turning 30, right?”

Adachi nodded once again, hoping to end the conversation as soon as possible; he didn’t want to be reminded of the passage of time or how much he hadn’t achieved by now.

Urabe rolled his chair closer and elbowed him. “Aaah, you sly weasel. Do you have a date?”

“Of course not. I’m just looking forward to getting home and sleeping.” That was literally his birthday plan.

Urabe frowned and gave him a quizzical look. “But you have... ‘dated’ before, right?” He winked.

Adachi shook his head slightly and saw the same look many people gave him, a mix of pity and judgement.

“You should ask one of the girls out. I’ve heard Yui is single and she’s very pretty!”

Adachi slowly turned his chair towards the copy machine and saw Yui across the room. She was, in fact, very pretty, but… she didn’t spark anything in him. She looked like a work of art, pleasant to look at, but not for him. “No, I don’t think that would work.”

“Adachi, if you don’t date someone by the time you turn 30, you will turn into a wizard!” He whispered.

“What? That’s ridiculous!”

“It’s true, you’ll see!”

Adachi rolled his eyes and turned back to his desk, finally starting on the reports needed. The sooner he was done with that, the sooner he could return to his writing.

--

The elevator opened its doors for Adachi and the ding that followed made his muscles relax instantly. Only a few more minutes and he would be up in his flat, taking his shoes off and cooking something quick before sitting down to write. He felt inspired by the beginning of this new story and he wasn’t about to let a bad day at work ruin that for him.

Just as the doors started to close, someone put a bag between them to keep them open. The first thing Adachi saw was a girl with a cute and gentle look, a black wispy fringe framing her face and a sweet smile. She nodded at Adachi and he smiled and nodded back. He wondered if he would ever date a girl like her, if sharing his life with a partner and doing things together would be so different than what he did now. The answer was probably not, since he assumed nobody would be supportive of him working all day and writing all night; if he was honest with himself, he didn’t really have time for a relationship, even if he sometimes yearned for a bit of company - theoretically. Adachi blinked repeatedly, suddenly crashing back into reality when he saw the looming presence of Kurosawa behind her, giving him a weird look he couldn’t quite place as he ushered the girl into the elevator.

Out of sheer awkwardness, Adachi nodded and mumbled a quiet hello at him, looking away as a blush crept onto his cheeks. Was that Kurosawa’s girlfriend? He groaned and let his head fall back against the elevator wall. He’d been caught staring at his neighbour’s girlfriend like a creep. He ventured a sideways glance and realized Kurosawa was still looking at him with a weird expression.

Thankfully, the ride was short and only a minute later, Adachi was home, barely paying any attention to his basic needs as per usual. He made some instant ramen and added a bit of egg to it before eating it mindlessly, daydreaming of his new story and the magic system involved.

Perhaps it was quickly becoming a much more ambitious project than he had anticipated but as long as the writing flowed, everything would be ok. What was supposed to be a long writing session soon turned into an early night after Adachi’s brain decided to shut down mid-sentence, putting him to sleep sitting at his desk, his head hanging down and his spine hunched over.

[totallynormalfanficauthor]

Scarecrow

Pairings: Jack Skellington/Sally 

Summary: Sally’s first Halloween. She gets scared and runs to the graveyard to be alone, only to realize... she’s not so alone like she thought.

---

This was it.

It was finally here.

Her first Halloween. 

Sally was very excited for this, to say the least. She knew how important Halloween was here, how it was the one thing everyone spent 364 days a year preparing for. She knew how much Halloween meant to everyone, and she admired the way they all tried their very best and put forth all their effort in making the holiday as terrifying- but fun- as possible. 

And she was thrilled that she was finally going to get to witness it. 

Sally looked up from the book she was reading and glanced across the room to the clock. It was almost 6:30, and she could see from the orange light shining through her window that the sun was beginning to set. It was almost time.

She shut her book and stood up off her bed, careful to not look out her window as she walked across the room to place the novel back on its shelf. As excited for tonight as she was, she had no idea what to expect, and wanted all of it to remain a surprise. So she avoided looking outside today. 

The ragdoll left her room, walking straight down the large curved ramp and turning the corner to head into the laboratory. Doctor Finkelstein was already in there, sitting in his wheelchair off to the side at a large metal table. He seemed to be tinkering with something, but Sally couldn’t quite make out what it was. 

“Horrible evening, Doctor”, she greeted as she approached, smiling. He turned to her momentarily, caught slightly off guard by her cheerful tone. Normally she wasn’t this happy to see him. 

Turning back to his work, he replied, “Evening, Sally. Do you need something?” 

She tilted her head. “Oh, no. I was just wondering if you wanted me to make you something to eat before I leave.” The doctor nodded. 

“Yes, I suppose you should-...wait..” He turned towards her again. “-leave?” 

Sally hesitated at the change in his tone, suddenly feeling nervous. “....Well, yes. It’s Halloween tonight, remember? The celebration? I was just-”

“You’re not going.” He cut her off. “And that’s final.” 

The smile fell off her face. “w-what?” 

“You’re not going, Sally. You know the rules. You are not to leave this tower for any reason, especially not alone. I know you’re not ready for Halloween. You are to stay here tonight.” 

“But...I thought..”

“No buts, Sally!” He snapped. “Don’t even try and argue. You’re staying here, understand?” 

Sally closed her eyes, furrowing her brows and looking away. She had hoped that maybe he would let her go out tonight, seeing how big of a deal Halloween is. Then again, she should’ve known better. 

“...Alright...I-I understand..” 

“Good. Now, how about you run along and make some soup for me, then? I’m starving.” 

She nodded obediently, opening her eyes but not making eye contact. She felt bitter, disappointed and sad. 

“Of course…right away…” 

The ragdoll turned around, leaving the lab and heading straight to the kitchen, not looking back.

---

Sally shut the door to the kitchen behind her as she entered, leaning on it for a moment as she went over in her head what exactly just happened. She really hadn’t expected him to react like that. And it hurt. 

She shook her head. She had been waiting far too long for this night to let Finkelstein ruin it! No no, she was going out there- one way or another. 

Sally stood up straight and walked across the room to where her cauldron was, reaching into the cabinet as she passed to pull out the necessary ingredients. But on her way, she grabbed an extra ingredient. Deadly Nightshade. 

If the Doctor wasn’t willing to let her go on his own, she had no choice. She had to poison him. There was no other way. 

It wasn’t the worst thing to do… after all, it only knocked him out for a few hours, plus, this definitely wasn’t the first time she’s done this. It should make just enough time for Sally to slip away and possibly even make it back before he woke up. Maybe...if she got lucky...he’d never even know she was gone. 

She began mixing her soup together, throwing in all her necessary ingredients and even adding an extra spice here or there. After making sure it was ready to be mixed, Sally opened the Deadly Nightshade bottle and plopped a large helping right on top. Grabbing her spoon, she mixed inside the cauldron, but she knew she wasn’t quite done. The scent of poison was very strong, and would be recognized right away. 

To cover it up, she quickly added some frogs breath to her deadly concoction. The nightshade smell might be strong, but this was definitely stronger, and overpowered it immediately. 

Feeling satisfied with the meal she had prepared, Sally took a large spoon and filled a bowl with it. Lastly, she added a seasoning of tiny spider eyes on top for good measure. 

“Doctor? Your soup is ready” She called as she re-entered the lab. He looked up from what he was doing, pushing the experiment away to make room. 

“Finally! Bring it right over here, my dear.” He instructed. Sally did as she was told and brought the bowl over, placing it down in front of him. The Doctor picked up his spoon. “Thank you. That will be all, for now. You’re excused.” She nodded to him, turning around as he brought the spoon up to his lips and took a sip. He didn’t suspect anything. 

And, 3….2…..1…

Thud! 

Sally smiled deviously at the sound. She whipped back around and sure enough, Finkelstein’s head had hit the table. He was knocked out cold. 

She ran over and grabbed a blanket that was folded on a nearby stand, and brought it over to drape around him, so that he wouldn’t be cold, and more comfortable. After all, he could be asleep for a while. 

At last, that was over with. She glanced at the clock- 7:05. The sun had set by now, and it was finally time to go. 

Confidently, the ragdoll strolled over to the door. But she found herself hesitating before opening it. 

“Remember, Sally,” she whispered to outloud, “this is the night you’ve been waiting for. Everyone’s favorite night of the year. You’ve already poisoned the Doctor….there’s no backing out now”

Finishing her thought and taking a breath, she finally pulled the door open, flinching as the breeze hit her. She felt excited, yet, strangely on edge. Almost like..something here didn’t….feel quite right. But she tried her best to push that away and ignore it, as she moved forward, beginning her walk towards town.

---

The wind was awfully chilly tonight. The sky was unusually dark, too. Sally looked around. Everything in town felt… different.

Except for a creaky gate or distant scream cutting through the air every so often, it was completely quiet. Too quiet. The moon above her was round and full, and she couldn’t help but momentarily stare as shadows danced around it’s bright surface. 

She wandered the streets, glancing nervously around her as she went. The more she walked, the more uneasy she felt.

‘Where is everyone?’ , she wondered. From what she could barely make out squinting in the shadows surrounding her, there didn’t seem to be anyone else around. ‘And, more importantly, where exactly am I?’. 

When Sally left the tower, her plan was to head straight into town square. So, that was where she had tried to go- but unfortunately, her only light source was the moon, which didn’t provide too much on it’s own. And now it seemed she couldn’t tell where she was. 

‘Oh, dear… perhaps I took a wrong turn....’

A sudden movement behind her caught the corner of her eye. She whipped around quickly for a better view, but saw nothing. 

“Hello? Is someone there?” She called. No response. Only darkness. Sally shivered, fear crawling up her back. It felt like someone was watching her. But from which direction? Was something staring right at her? Or...was it… behind her..? She turned around again, making a circle, but she still didn’t see anything. Or anyone. Confused and afraid, she continued walking. 

But she had hardly been walking very far, when she heard another noise. But this time, she could tell- it was behind her. Sally stopped, frozen. She was too frightened to turn around. But.. maybe whatever it was, she didn’t need to be afraid of it? Perhaps it was just another citizen or… a cat or something. She gathered up all of her courage, and was about to turn around, when something grabbed her arm. 

Sally shrieked loudly and ripped her arm away from it as fast as she could. The thing let go of her immediately, to her surprise, causing her to stumble forward as she tried to get away. As soon as she got proper footing on the ground again, Sally raced out of there at full speed, running into the darkness and not looking back. 

She wasn’t quite sure where she was going, or where she was. But eventually, she became exhausted and had to stop. She crouched over with her hands on her knees, gasping for breath. Once she could breathe again, the ragdoll stood up straight and finally looked around. Wherever she was, it was much clearer. The sky seemed brighter here, and finally she could see better. When she looked closer at what was ahead, she finally recognized it and knew why it looked familiar: it was the gate to the graveyard. Sally had been to the graveyard a few times in the past. She found it to be a rather comforting spot, where she knew she could be alone. People didn’t seem to visit there often. And if there was one thing she needed right now, it was to be alone. 

She shivered again as another breeze passed through her long hair. Without hesitating, she walked straight up the small hill and through the gate. 

Even if it was darker than normal, everything else seemed the same here. The tombstones where all the same as she remembered and the spiral hill stood tall and proud where it always was. The moon was shining brightly above it. 

Sally strolled over to a gravestone and sat down on top of it. She sighed, playing with her hair. Tonight was supposed to be fun! So why was she just.... afraid?  

‘Maybe there's something wrong with me..’ she wondered, ‘maybe I just..don't belong here…’  Tears started forming in her eyes. ‘I’ll never find my place here… but what am I to do? This is the only home I have...it’s all I’ve got. Surely, I can’t just.. Go away? Leave?’ She began to sob, getting off the tombstone and sliding down it so that she was now sitting on the ground, crying. ‘It’s not like anyone would miss me if I did… I don't.. have… a single...friend..’ 

Sally covered her face with her hands, making her cloth-like skin damp. She was very upset. Tonight was supposed to be the greatest thing and yet, she never felt so out of place. 

A few minutes passed before she looked up again, still weeping. At first glance everything seemed the same, and she thought for a second about maybe getting up soon to try and make her way back to town. But then she noticed something. Something that almost made her cry harder. Movement. Sally wasn’t alone like she thought she was, and once again her fear returned. Someone was walking towards her. She could tell now, it was a figure. A very… tall and skinny figure. She almost thought they looked… familiar, but she couldn’t quite place it. She squished herself back against the tombstone, shaking. 

As the figure came nearer, she was able to get a better look at him, and could see him more clearly now. This definitely wasn’t someone she recognized- in fact, Sally had never seen this guy at all. He was a tall, scarecrow looking man. His body, arms and legs were all made out of straw, and he had a pumpkin head that appeared to have features carved out of it, in a sort of jack-’o-lantern style. He wore a purple shirt, closed in the middle held together by stitches. The ends of his long sleeves were ragged and ripped, as were the tails that draped down from the back of his shirt. 

He approached her, holding his hands behind his back. Sally pushed further against the stone, trembling in fear.

“Please…” she cried, “Don’t...hurt me..” 

The strange scarecrow man didn’t reply. He just blinked, slowly. Sally sat there, unsure what to do. Was he going to try and scare her? Well, he was already doing that. Should she just make a run for it, maybe? Or just stay put? 

Before she had time to figure out what to do, the scarecrow man removed one of his hands from behind his back and held it out to her. He was offering to help her up. 

Sally looked back and forth between his outstretched hand and his face. Her mouth went agape, as the gesture took her off guard. But.. maybe this was a good thing? It was certainly a more friendly thing to do… maybe this mysterious scarecrow man wasn’t out to get her after all. But then again, did she really trust him enough to take his hand? 

She sniffed, wiping a tear off her cheek. It felt rude to just sit there and ignore him. Besides, had he really done anything wrong yet? What reason did she really have to be afraid right now? People in Halloween Town were typically very sweet anyway. 

After hesitating one more moment, Sally shakily reached out and took his hand. It was exceptionally larger than hers. He squeezed her hand gently and pulled up right away, helping the ragdoll to her feet. Being unbalanced on her leaf filled legs, she stumbled for a moment, knocking into his chest before she pushed herself away and stood up straight. 

Now that she was on her feet, Sally could get a better look at his face. She must admit, for someone who looked like a scarecrow, he was strangely… attractive. Her eyes widened a bit as she stared at him, unsure what to do now. She tried to swallow the knot in her throat. 

“Who...wh-who are you…?” she squeaked out. But again, the man didn’t reply. Instead, he let go of one of her hands and brought his up to her face, using his thumb to gently wipe the tears out from under her eyes. Sally blinked. She could feel her face heating up at his touch, her cheeks going pink but her expression remained shocked. Who is this guy?  The way he ran his thumb down her cheek was awfully.. soothing. Strangely enough, he was starting to make her feel better- and yet he hadn’t even spoken two words. 

He moved away from her face and reached down to take her hands again. Sally just gawked at him, still not knowing what to do. Seriously, who is this guy? Can’t he at least give her his name? 

She was about to open her mouth to speak again, but she was interrupted by another noise, coming from the direction of town. Music. Both her and the scarecrow man looked up. He turned his head to glance at the graveyard exit momentarily, before he once again flipped his attention back to Sally. ‘That must be the band playing…’ she figured, ‘I knew there had to be others around..! Somewhere..’  

The music itself was slow, and eerie sounding, but also very peaceful and quite pretty. She turned back to the man in front of her. Maybe she could use this as an excuse to leave? That the music... meant she needed to go back to town now? She opened her mouth to say something, but found no words wanted to come out. Part of her almost felt like, despite how afraid she had been, she didn’t want to leave this man. Just from the way he was acting and how he treated her- helping her up and such- made Sally almost feel safe. 

Suddenly, he stood up straight, catching her attention. He took one of her hands and brought it up around his neck, holding the other in his own, then placed his free hand around her waist. Sally straightened her back, her face flushing a bit more. She knew what this was- a dancing pose. He wanted to dance with her. To the music that was drifting in from town. And that’s exactly what he did. 

He took a few swift steps backward. Sally, in too much awe to do anything else, followed his lead. They moved backward, then came forward again. He turned to the side, spinning the two of them in a circle before going backwards again. He repeated the same movements, all to the tune of the music, and Sally followed them, staring at him with wide eyes the whole time. Her mouth was open in shock. One minute, he had been simply helping her off the ground, and now, they were dancing. Together. It gave Sally butterflies. She couldn’t help but note that he seemed to be a rather good dancer, oddly enough. Meanwhile she was struggling with simply trying not to step on his feet as they moved, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

He spun them around again one last time, dipping her down as the music died. She tightened her grip around his collar so as to not fall, though it probably didn’t matter anyway, since he had a good hold on her himself. He brought her back up after a few seconds and Sally blushed as she stood up straight, smoothing out her dress and flicking some hair back over her shoulder. Then she turned to look back at him. The scarecrow man was just standing there now, watching her. 

He moved closer, tilting his head. Sally stared back at him. He moved his hand toward her, and she noticed, reaching out to grab it. She was about to, when suddenly, a loud voice exploded over a megaphone into the air, startling the both of them. 

“Places, Everyone!”

The scarecrow man blinked suddenly. He quickly glanced from Sally, towards town then back at Sally. He nodded to her once, then turned around and began walking away. Sally watched him leave, gasping as she reached out. She didn’t want him to leave, not yet! 

“W-wait!” she called, “don’t go..!” 

But he was already gone.

---

Sally crouched behind a tree, watching all the other citizens do their thing. After the scarecrow man left her in the graveyard , she had found no other reason to stay there, so she had headed back into town. Upon arriving, she discovered everyone was in town square, taking part in some sort of ‘celebration’. They were singing some sort of song. Now this was more like it. Not knowing any of the lyrics or what to do, Sally had taken a seat off to the side behind a tree to watch. This was all so interesting, everyone looked very happy. 

“This is Halloween, everybody scream!” “Won’t you please make way for a very special guy?” 

Sally watched in amazement as a man tugged on a rope connected to a straw horse, bringing it inside town as he marched toward the fountain. There seemed to be something ontop the horse, but she didn’t quite have a good enough view to see what it was. She stood up, peering further around the tree. When she saw what it was on the back of the horse, she brought her hand up and covered her mouth instantly in surprise. It was him. The scarecrow man. 

He picked up a torch and lit himself on fire, dancing and spinning on top the horse and everyone continued singing around him. Sally was completely frozen. If this man was important enough to be the center of the Halloween celebration, why had she never seen him before?! Who IS this guy?!? 

Sally continued watching in complete awe. The scarecrow man did a flip, diving straight into the fountain. 

“In this town, we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin’s song” 

She leaned forward, waiting to see the orange of the pumpkin head rising out of the fountain. Maybe if she paid close attention, she could figure out who he was and maybe even get the chance to speak with him. 

The water rippled, and a figure rose out of it. But. 

It wasn’t the scarecrow man.

Sally felt her heart stop. It was Jack. Jack Skellington. 

He rose out of the fountain and everyone cheered around him. Sally slunk back behind the tree and covered her face. Jack, Jack SKELLINGTON, their KING… the man Sally knew she really admired, and the one she had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN about because she was so focused on the mysterious scarecrow… he.. WAS the scarecrow!

She almost couldn’t believe it. Yet there he was… plain as day. 

As Jack stepped down from the fountain, people crowded around him, showering him in praise. Sally just watched from a distance, not knowing what to do at all. Should she go up to him? Ask him about it? But what if it wasn’t her place to approach him..? 

“-Everyone, everyone!” the Mayor shouted, “head to the town hall! We shall go over the awards and prizes there!” 

She watched as everyone turned and followed him towards the large building, chatting it up and laughing as they went. Sally almost wished she could be apart of it.

As everyone went along and passed her, she noticed… someone wasn’t among them. Jack. She turned around just in time to see him slinking away in the opposite direction. She was confused. Where was he going? and.. . why? 

She wasn’t sure but, she decided then and there that she needed to talk to him. She needed some answers. Taking a deep breath, she got up, and sneakily followed him. 

They were almost back toward the pumpkin patch before she decided to speak up. Sally was planning on silently following him, but, unsure with where he was going or when he’d stop, she made her move. 

“.....Jack!” the ragdoll called his name. He stopped walking, giving Sally a chance to catch up. She walked up behind him, hands behind her back. The skeleton turned around. At first, his facial expression looked a bit surprised, maybe even annoyed. But as soon as he saw who it was that called to him, he smiled. 

“Oh, horrible evening, Sally. It’s nice to-” “-It was you, wasn’t it? In the graveyard.” she felt a little bad interrupting him, but, right now she just...needed answers. Jack’s smile fell, but came back only a second later. 

“Yes. It was. I was just on my way to my post for the beginning of our song, that’s all. The graveyard is a bit of a shortcut.” 

Sally’s face went pink again as she spoke to him. “I thought for sure you where coming to...to scare me..”

“Well, I’ll admit, when I saw another person there, that was my original intention. I was going to sneak up on you. But then I came closer, and I noticed..” his smile fell a little. “...you were crying.” 

She turned her head away from him, embarrassed. “Oh.. yeah. I-I just...wasn’t having a very good night.”

“I’m sorry… would you like to talk about it?” 

She shook her head. “No, thank you..it’s alright…” 

The two fell silent. Sally was still looking away from him. She knew what she wanted to ask next, she just hesitated first. 

“....Jack?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you dance with me?” 

She found the courage to look him in the face again. She found his smile returning as he gazed at her, answering her question with no problem.

“Dancing always makes me feel better.” He tapped her shoulder. “Tell me, did it work?” 

Sally stared up at him, once more taken aback. He really did care, didn’t he? She found herself smiling too. 

“Yeah, actually.. It really did...thank you..”

“Of course… though, I do apologize, I hope I wasn’t too forward. I’d never wan’t to make you uncomfortable”

“Oh, no!” she shook her head. “Not at all! I was just confused. Why didn’t you tell me who you were? Maybe I wouldn’t have been so afraid if you had..” “Ah, yeah… sorry about that..” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I tend to not...talk very much in my Pumpkin King form. Just a habbit, I suppose..” 

“It’s alright. Like I said I… was just confused. Thank you for telling me.”

He nodded once to her, then turned and glanced at the moon, noticing how late it was getting. 

“Hm… I should get going…” “To where?” 

Jack smiled at her again, finding it cute how curious she was. 

“I like to hang out in the graveyard after a busy Halloween sometimes. It’s very peaceful to sit ontop the hill there.” “Oh…”

He paused for a moment, like he was thinking about something, and then he turned back towards her with another smile. “Would you like to join me?”

Sally blushed. “Oh..! Are you sure…? I don’t want to bother-” “Of course I’m sure. Some company would be a pleasure right now. What do you say?” 

The ragdoll looked at him and smiled. Her heart began to swell, her face continuing to tint pink.

“...Sure. Thank you.”

“Of course. Let’s be off then.” 

The continued down the trail together now. Sally couldn’t help but stare up at him. As they reached the gate, there was just one more thing she knew she needed to say to him.

“Happy Halloween, Jack.”

“Happy Halloween, Sally.”   

[ayoitsnic]

Crowley x Reader x Lucifer

Part 1

*Based loosely around 12x15 but Ramsey kills Gwen and gets away

Word Count: 2.6k

Trigger Warnings: Injured animal? Idk? If you think something should be added to the TW list drop a comment or DM me

Summary: Humans aren’t supposed to see hellhounds, so what happens when y/n finds an injured hellhound and brings it home to care for? 

*Disclaimer* Lucifer will be introduced in the 2nd part which should be up by Saturday 4/3/2021

It was almost midnight when y/n got off of work. She was exhausted after her shift at Regional West Medical Center in Nebraska. As she trudged through the parking lot to her old, beat up 2002 Suzuki she couldn’t help but feel eyes on her, like something was watching her from out in the darkness. Fumbling with her keys she turned to unlock the driver’s side car door (The remote to unlock the door was broken. The car could only be opened with the actual key.), only to freeze in place when she felt the hot breath and heard the heavy breathing of some sort of animal behind her. “Dear god, please let it be my overactive imagination.” she prayed silently, knowing it was no use. Whatever stood behind her was very much real.

Very slowly she turned to face whatever it was that was sniffing her, her keys moving between her middle and ring finger in case she needed to defend herself. Instead of being met with what she thought for sure would be a small bear or a rabid coyote, she was met with a very large dog. A very large dog that looked like it had been through absolute hell. Its fur was matted and caked with dried mud and dirt, and it was covered with cuts and what she naturally assumed was its own blood. It was hard to tell through the thick, matted fur but it also looked very underweight. “Oh you poor baby….” Y/n’s heart melted upon seeing the creature.

Obviously the dog had been out on its own for a very long time. Y/N took pity on it. It seemed so sad, and it didn’t appear rabid or vicious. It looked like it just wanted help. Reluctantly she reached down to check for a collar. There was a collar but it was in a foreign language. One she’d never seen before. Unlocking the back of the car she coaxed the dog in with some leftover food she had from her lunch break. She knew the poor thing must be starving. Being hurt it took a little help getting in. Little did she know how dangerous that dog really was or that there was a man out right now searching for it.

The K-9, which y/n decided to call (Dog’s name) had fallen asleep on the car ride home, snoring softly over the radio that was playing some Green Day song. Pulling into the driveway, (Y/N) stopped the car and turned off the radio. Almost on queue (dog’s name) looked up to see where they were. A light was on outside, illuminating a large porch (Which could probably use a new paint job, if we’re being honest) with 2 rocking chairs, a small table and a plethora of healthy, brightly colored plants. She picked up the injured dog and carried it inside, planning on taking it to the vet in the morning to see if it was microchipped.

She was going to let the dog sleep in the basement for the night, unsure if it would destroy the house or not. She remembered her aunt’s German Shepherd who took pleasure in tearing up sofas, and eating her plants. The dog also really needed a bath and she didn’t want it on the furniture until it got one. Unfortunately around 3:30 am, y/n felt a dip in the bed and then something making itself comfy by her feet. Looking over, she found the dog curled up in bed with her. Way too tired to deal with it now, and knowing she had to wash the sheets anyway she just fell back asleep let the dog stay with her so long as it stayed at the foot of the bed.

~

The next morning, Y/N got up early to go to the pet store and get stuff for the dog. She called up the local vet, making an appointment, she washed the sheets, and most importantly she began trying to wash (Dog’s name). At first the dog resisted, wanting absolutely nothing to do with the water. Y/N knew exactly how to deal with this though. Placing a glob of peanut butter on the side of the tub to keep the dog preoccupied, (Dog’s name) happily entered the bathtub. A trick y/n had learned from that aunt with the poorly behaved German Shepherd. By the time y/n was done with the dog she’d had to drain and refill the tub 3 times before she gave up and kept it drained, just using the shower head. She couldn’t believe how much blood and dirt had come off this dog.

Around 2pm the doorbell rang and this dog who was once so sweet, albeit a bit skittish turned into an absolute beast. Running to the door, loud deep barks and growls left it. The dog seemed ready to tear the stranger on the other side of the door to shreds. It was almost like it had turned into a completely different dog. “(Dog’s name)!!!” Y/n shouted as she raced down the stairs after it, hoping to get to the door before the dog did. “NO!!!” She yelled. Even hurt and underweight, (Dog’s name) was really big. If it wanted to break that door, it probably could. Without thinking, Y/n quickly grabbed the dog by the collar to stop it. “I said no!” She told her firmly with a pointed finger. The dog whined, tail between its legs as it hurried back up the stairs to the bedroom to do that thing dogs do when they roll around on the rug to dry themselves.

The front door had a glass window looking out so y/n could see the stranger. He was short, and wore a nice suit. He seemed only slightly concerned about the interaction. The man didn’t even flinch as the massive hound lunged itself at him. It seemed like this was a normal day for him. Actually, he seemed more unnerved after she called the dog off. Opening the door, y/n apologized profusely for the dog “I am so sorry about the dog! I-” Before she could continue, the man squinted at her, clearly confused about something. “What are you?” He questioned in an English accent.

“Hellhounds? Really?” She questioned with a quirked eyebrow and a small grin, crossing her arms and constantly turning to keep facing the man. It was obvious she didn’t believe him.

Obviously his question confused y/n as she gave him a look of confusion back “What do you mean ’what are you?’” She stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her “I'm human”

“Yes, really.” The man continued, as serious as a heart attack “You especially shouldn’t be able to control that bitch. I’ve only ever known one person to be able to control Ramsey and you and not that person.”

“Oh really? And who might that person be then?” Y/n asked, beginning to think this was some elaborate prank being played on her by a friend or coworker.

Remembering what the demon said about her being able to control the hound, y/n gave it a shot. Raising a hand she firmly commanded “Ramsey stay.” Not only did the dog stop dead in her tracks, she laid down and waited for further orders. Now most people would be a little freaked out by this; finding a hellhound that they didn't know was a hellhound, and now being visited by a demon sent to collect said hound. Y/n however wasn’t afraid. Actually she kind of got a Déjà vu feeling at this.

“No you can’t be. Humans can’t see hellhounds, much less control them.” Normally Crowley would just collect the demonic hound and leave, with humans being none the wiser that the rogue canine was even there, but not only did this woman know the hellhound was there, she was taking pretty good care of it. Even stranger, the dog was letting her care for it. There was something different about this woman, something special. He just wasn’t sure what it was yet. Crowley circled y/n, inspecting her. He was trying to find any indication of her not being human.

“Lucifer.” Crowley responded

At that, y/n was done. “Look pal, I don’t know what kind of kool-aid you’re drinking but I’m not buying it. Now’s the part where I tell you to get off my property.” she turned to go back inside, closing and locking the door behind her. As she turned to head upstairs though, Crowley was standing right behind her, his eyes red. She let out a screech, jumping as far back as she could (Which wasn’t far as the door was right behind her). Again, the dog that the demon in front of her called ‘Ramsey’ came running to her defense.

~

“The name’s Crowley. King of hell.” He introduced himself “May I ask who you are?”

“Y/n y/l/n.” she responded before telling him “Queen of this house.” This was crazy. Y/n was standing in her entryway conversing with a demon king. “Could I offer you tea ‘your highness’? Maybe Coffee?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she addressed Crowley as 'your highness' She wasn’t gonna hand over the dog so easily, and something told her the demon wouldn’t be leaving without Ramsey.

“.....Who are you?” Y/n asked the man

Y/n and Crowley sat in her kitchen, sipping tea and chatting. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The demon who sat across from y/n questioned “Most people would run, or beg for mercy if a demon showed up at their doorstep. Not invite them in for a drink.”

~

If it weren’t for the fact that y/n could sick Cujo on him at any moment, Crowley wouldn’t be being so patient with her. He wouldn’t be trying to convince her to send the dog to her death. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you take that dog back.” Y/n told Crowley. For some reason she felt bonded to that dog, with the overwhelming need to protect her.

“I’m afraid I must insist. She’s dangerous and unpredictable. It’s for the best that she be put down. She’s killed a lot of people who weren’t on hell’s hit list while she was topside.” Crowley explained “A pup like that out and about isn't good for business. It makes it look like I’m not in control.”

“Do you want me to beg for mercy?” Y/n asked with a smirk and a small, dry chuckle. “Sorry but you’re not very scary so forgive me if I’m quaking in my shoes.” She would never be seen begging for mercy. Not in a million years.

“I thought you were the king down there.” Y/n questioned “A king answers to no one. You could turn, walk right out that front door, and pretend she vanished. That you weren't able to find her. Or you could go back and tell your people she attacked you and you killed her. Besides, you’re a demon. You don’t really care about the people she’s killed, do you?” Y/n definitely cared and felt bad, she just didn’t believe Crowley did.

“The Winchester’s. They hunt monsters. Vampire’s, werewolves, demonkind, et cetera.” Crowley explained “They’re ruthless, and if they find out that dog is here they will show up and kill her. Painfully. If you hand her over I promise her death will be a painless and merciful one.” Of course he would make the boys sound worse than they were. In reality they’d kill it as quick as possible if they could. He’d say anything to get her to give up Ramsey. 

“Of course I don’t, but some hunters I know care a lot about the people that were killed. If I don’t collect this dog, they’ll come and collect her for me and they’ll be far less inclined to sit and chat over hot beverages.” Crowley explained

“Tell me about these hunters.” Y/n asked, genuinely interested. "I assume you're not referring to people who shoot buck in their free time."

“Let them come.” Y/n spoke after quietly mulling over what was just told to her. Whether she was underestimating these hunters or just didn’t believe what Crowley was telling her he was unsure. “She may be in a weakened state now but she’ll get better. She’ll get stronger and when she does I’ll be the only one who can stop her. If they show up, I’ll be ready and they’ll have to go through me. When they get through me, she’ll be ready for them too.”

“Y/n I know you think-” Y/n cut off the demon king, her patience wearing thin. She had all the leverage she needed in this situation and she knew it “You said I was the only one who could control her. Now I don’t know how or why that is, but that means there’s nothing stopping me from sicking the dog on you. If she really is as vicious and dangerous as you claim she is, I would be afraid of the one person who can send her after you. I’m telling you to walk away. I’m giving you an out. I strongly suggest you take it.”

Thinking about it later though, she was actually kind of sexy. She knew she held the power and the leverage in that situation and she knew how to use it. Not only that but she was bold enough to try and intimidate not just any king, but the King of Hell. And she didn’t need to raise her voice once while doing it. She was clearly a strong, intelligent, woman. He liked that.

~

After he was gone, y/n was in fact a little freaked out. If there was a hell that meant there was a heaven. Would she be going to hell just for harboring this animal? And better question; how do you even properly care for a hellhound? She imagined it would be a lot different from taking care of your average, run of the mill Pitbull.

Crowley stood his ground, calling her bluff. He didn’t believe she would actually do it. “Ramsey!” Y/n called “Ramsey c’mere girl!” she whistled as the Hellhound came barreling from upstairs “Ramsey, hurry up! Go get him! Get the demon!” Y/n told Ramsey in the same sickeningly sweet baby voice most humans use to talk to animals they find cute. Before she could get to him though, Crowley had disappeared into thin air.

After hours spent searching on the internet y/n got her first lead. Okay so it wasn’t really a lead. It was more of an idea. It’s not like she could just log onto wikipedia and pull up a page on 'How to take care of a Hellhound'. She did however find instructions for summoning and trapping a crossroads demon. She didn’t realize there were different types of demons but to her, a crossroads demon was still a demon so good enough right?

Late that night y/n put Ramsey in the car with her and drove to the nearest crossroads. Spray painting a ‘devils trap’ in the road she buried a box in the center. It contained a photo of her, some graveyard dirt, and the bone of a black cat. No, she didn’t go out and kill a cat. She was able to get that from a wiccan shop on the outskirts of town.

After burying the box, she stood and read the incantation she had written on a scrap of paper “Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae!” She waited a moment and when nothing happened she thought she might've gotten a word wrong. That was until she heard a woman speak behind her “What can I do for you tonight?”

Jumping a bit she turned to face the demon. “I just need some information.”

.....To be continued....

[onyourzeus]

• stress-free | kwp

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: stress-free pairing: kim wonpil (of day6) & you (she/her pronouns) genre: FLUFF, college!au words: 3.4k

author’s note: @pirimiritiddy​ requested a fic about wonpil, and here it is. it went on for longer than i previously planned, buuuuut. i hope it’s still okay aaaa 

(this is the 1st time i’ve written something for wonpil so if i get his personality wrong, i do apologize. i am also a baby myday huhu)

this dot fic (bullet style) is part of the falling asleep on the bus scenario that i intend to write for each day6 member. check out the others: dowoon (currently only 2/5 completed)

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

wonpil hates his schedule for this winter term 

who assigns a class that is only available at seven in the evening??

3 times a week

during THE WINTER

did he mention it’s a major lecture he’s required to take?? 

psychology of stress, more like

this class is giving him the kind of stress it is specifically warning its students about 

anyway, what can he say. he chose this major, there’s only 1 more term after this one and then finally: graduation

it’ll be fine, he’ll live

thank the heavens they didn’t need to attend the first two meetings, but some reading material was provided 

and was expected by the professor to have been read and reflected upon 

the class is really living up to its name because when wonpil opened the pdf 

it was 30 pages of tiny font sized sentences (for ants!) about the definition of stress and how it affects every part of the body yada yada yada

wonpil tried. he really tried 

that is to say he fell asleep on his desk while going over the same 20th page of the document 

if it weren’t for jae shaking him awake, he’d miss his first night class 

it would’ve been nice… if only the professor didn’t take attendance (something about being generous enough to make the first 2 classes “free,” so everyone has an obligation to come in for the remainder of the semester)

great, he’s stuck freezing his ass off just walking to the bus stop alone 

hopefully they turn the heater all the way up in the auditorium or else

the thousands spent in tuition would have literally been for nothing

overdramatic wonpil, can you blame him 

he thinks about reading the remaining 10 pages on the bus, even if he knows nothing of value will be absorbed

he wants to tries anyway, he does feel a little bit refreshed from that impromptu nap 

the bus has arrived, and it’s packed as usual; a lot of the students riding the shuttle are just yet to take off in the following stops

wonpil squeezes his way inside, 30 pages of stress psychology research gripped in both hands 

“excuse me, sorry,” wonpil mumbles, eyeing for a spot to sit to make him comfortable 

because once all the people standing up leave, it’s usually a race for the exit 

he’ll never understand college students

finally, he sees an empty seat way in the back. there was a girl on one end and two other students who seem to be ready to get off on the right side

wonpil doesn’t mind sitting next to someone, but once those 2 are gone he’ll just scoot over to give the girl on the left some privacy 

she seems very much in deep sleep anyway, wonpil wonders if her stop is coming or she’s riding to go to campus? 

wonpil doesn’t have time to think about other people, it causes him unnecessary stress

once sat down, his eyes focus on the last page he left off of 

the words register as gibberish in his brain, and with the bus moving so much it makes it even more difficult to follow along the paragraphs

wonpil takes in a deep breath, holds it in, and sighs very heavily 

his patience is usually the best out of his friends, but this class is turning more and more into the psychology of how to get you stressed tf out instead 

the bus nears its next stop, and the two people on his side stand up to leave, yes he can breathe normal air

however

hold on

his shoulder feels heavy 

turning his head slightly, for some reason once the bus had stopped its engine the girl’s head had flipped over to lean against wonpil’s shoulder instead 

oh no oh no oh no 

his shoulders suddenly freeze, as if blasted with a ray gun filled with ice 

it’s heavy and he can’t move, it’s numb and this girl’s hair is splayed all over his his sweater 

and she

she smells of coffee, and wonpil inhales it in

it’s not foul or anything, but it’s definitely exuding notes of espresso bean and freshly roasted coffee 

it makes wonpil feel a little more awake 

but he still can’t move his shoulders, and suddenly he’s panicking because the bus started moving again and even though capacity has lessened by 80%

someone decided to sit on the other end of the row he’s at

so if he even attempts to move, he’ll still be seated next to someone 

wonpil grumbles, lower lip jutting forward

something shifts

and he realizes he shook his shoulders a little bit with his frustration

“ah…” he exclaims inaudibly, panicking at the possibility that he had woken her up from her nap

wonpil tenses up, shoulders stiff and eyes peering at his side to see what she’s up to

she lifts her head just a few inches off of wonpil’s shoulder, and for a moment he’s relieved that maybe she realizes what’s going on

but wonpil only hears a soft yawn coming from her, and she returns to using his very rigid shoulder as her pillow during this bus ride

let’s just say that the next thirteen minutes was more stress-inducing than wonpil wanted it to be

right when the bus reaches the final stop (main campus), wonpil exerts any and all efforts he has to shake his shoulder, up and down, enough to elicit an awake response from this stranger 

the moment he feels her let up, wonpil dashes through that bus door like there’s no tomorrow

he is greeted with the coldest wind hitting his face, and his shoulder feeling numb from all the.. pillow roleplaying it did, if you will 

wonpil feels bad, borderline guilty for leaving her like that— what if she’s asleep until now?? he can almost hear soft snores from her end for a minute there, too, and it took so much of wonpil to resist chuckling at it while in panic mode simultaneously

suffice to say, he was not able to read the rest of the document

in wonpil’s defense, he had encountered it first hand — how stress overcomes one’s body and mind 

he forces himself to focus on what’s ahead, as boring as it sounds

he enters the lecture hall with a few minutes so spare, deciding to sit in the back

the projector screens are big and wonpil is not about to take his chances of getting called on today

luckily enough, he finds a row with visibly no other student sitting around the area 

shoulder feeling more alive, he comes back to his senses as well 

he takes off his outer sweater as it had become toastier inside. he still had a couple layers beneath his clothes

as the professor starts talking, wonpil finds himself yawning a few times

he doesn’t know if the video playing on screen is boring him or the girl in the bus affected his sleepiness

suddenly he remembers the smell of coffee, and how that’d sound real good right about now 

he slaps both of his cheeks lightly, trying to take him back in the zone of at least writing down important notes 

he’s on the fifth bullet point of his note-taking when the door behind him opens abruptly

it wasn’t loud or disrupting to the whole class, virtually no one even batted an eye

but thats because they’re far from the door

and wonpil is literally ten feet away, so when he feels the cold suddenly hit his back he had to know the source of the sudden hit in temperature

the class hadn’t been going on for less than an hour, and there have been students coming in on the other end of the auditorium

so wonpil isn’t that surprised that another student has just arrived 

he caught a glimpse of her hair, but that’s about it as wonpil goes back to his tedious notes 

until the very same person scoots herself in wonpil’s row

he huffs under his breath, the illusion of some privacy now shattered 

with a polite (semi-forced) smile, wonpil turns to the side to greet his classmate

again, wonpil becomes frozen in spot 

kind of like when you feel a magnetic pull somewhere, you follow it

and then suddenly you see it from afar, not believing your eyes if it’s actually real; if it’s actually there

in wonpil’s case, he’s one seat away from her

recognizing the flow of her hair, but more importantly

that distinct scent of coffee beans from her clothes 

this time, wonpil has a clear look on her face and he’s… speechless 

his polite smile has turned into a look of awe, eyes glued towards her 

she senses his gaze, turns to him and quickly bows down as a polite greeting 

“sorry, but has the class been going on for a while?” 

she speaks 

“oh, um, what— what?” 

“oh,” she looks confused, but rephrases her question, “what time did the class start? i had a hard time finding this lecture hall.” 

she’s talking to him, not just leaning her head on his shoulder

“seven” 

was all wonpil could say 

“it started at 7? cool, i’m not that late then!” she cheers, grinning shyly. wonpil watches the way she puts a strand of hair tucked beneath her ear. she’s pulling out her laptop from her bag when she notices a pair of wide eyes still on her person

“is… is this seat taken?” she asks, and wonpil hasn’t even taken in the fact that this is the same person from the bus 

“yes” 

tongue-tied wonpil strikes again, blinking back his own obliviousness to her question

“i mean— no, now it is, by you. you’re sitting there, um, i— feel free to sit wherever you want”

he’s scrambling for his words, flustered cheeks heating up amidst the warmth of the room

she just nods her head in understanding, and wonpil finally realizes he’s been staring at her direction for longer than he should have

“STRESS” 

the professor verbalized into her mic which causes wonpil to look to the front all of a sudden 

right, right. he’s at a lecture. what’s gotten him so fidgety and embarrassed and now all that he’s pretending to type on his google doc is

sdfjfjdfhshllsghgjghsh

just so he looks busy next to the girl who fell asleep on him on the bus

was there any point in preoccupying his mind with thoughts of her, and her head resting on him? no it’s stupid, wonpil knows this. 

people do it all the time, by accident, due to exhaustion, they don’t mean a thing by it

but wonpil is curious, and this is going to kill him. for sure

so he peeks at her again, and like a normal, decent student that she is (compared to wonpil at this point let’s be real) her hands are busy hand writing whatever the professor was saying

meanwhile, wonpil continues to sdfjskgnglddfjs his way to a passing B in this class

even in this large, spacious lecture hall he can still take in her scent

maybe it’s a new perfume that’s up and coming, that’s why it smells so strongly on her

oh! he can ask that? hey, do you mind sharing what line of perfume you’re using? it smells really good

it sounds like a common question, right? i mean if you wear strong fragrances you’re bound to be asked a question about it

he’s about to ask, he really was so ready to ask, what was he gonna lose? his dignity? 

over a simple, inquisitive question? 

“and now before we go on a twenty minute break, it’s time to introduce yourself to the person sitting close to you”

...

why do college professors have to do this? 

wonpil bites his lip, at this point in time he’s a senior who’s fed up with ice breakers like this. if it were any other person sitting next to him, in front of him, behind him— he would just go with his usual introduction

“hi i’m kim wonpil, studying psychology and i graduate in the spring. i’m taking this class for a major requirement” 

then go about his merry way.

but with her? she and him have history

sort of, and it’s the kind of history that is recent and wonpil is unsure if she is even aware of the weird string of fate-like connection they have 

or, wonpil, hear your consciousness out

it’s not a big deal, and in the scenario she doesn’t remember she fell asleep on the bus on another person

then you can just say hi like usual, and cut the string of fate there and then

(but does wonpil really want that?)

“hi”

oh crap she’s started it 

wonpil braces himself for whatever outcome this interaction comes out to. he’ll let her speak, and tailor his response from there

“i’m sorry, this might be really weird but that’s your sweater, right?” 

so she didn’t give her name, her major, anything substantial about herself but instead shoots wonpil a question

pointing at the sweater that’s draped on the seat in front of wonpil

wonpil doesn’t even check to look. he gulps, nods his head and squeaks, “yeah… why?” 

something in her eyes flash by, almost like a glint of recognition

she puts a hand on her mouth, and wonpil can make out the faintest shade of pink blushing its way to her ears

it’s kinda cute

“did someone happen to… fall asleep on you on the bus coming to campus today?” 

“... yes?” 

“that was me” she buries her face even further into her hands, almost lowering down to the chair 

wonpil thought she was gonna fall for some reason so he had to remedy the situation somewhat

“i.. i, um, did you have a good nap?” 

great comeback 

wonpil was so ready to leave the auditorium and never come back after the break

but he hears her giggle, and slowly come out of her shyness

and it’s a sweet sight, to finally see the way her cheeks look full of embarrassed laughter

as she twirls around a length of hair nervously

and taps the pen on the surface of her desk repeatedly 

it was endearing, and wonpil forgets about why he was panicking in the first place 

she then explains that she had work the whole day, and only had an hour to rest up before going to this 7pm class

wonpil listens intently, watching her mannerisms and the lilt in her voice when she continues to apologize for falling asleep on him without realizing it

“i’m not usually a deep sleeper, but work was exceptionally tiring today and i just needed at least a bit of shut eye” wonpil nods understandingly, almost worried about her health

“where do you work if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“at the coffee shop a few blocks away from campus,” she answers, head tilting to the side “i’m still wearing my uniform for it… is it too obvious?”

wonpil didn’t even realize her black long sleeves was a cafe uniform

but it did explain her strong coffee smell 

“something like that,” wonpil decided to say, curling his lips upward, feeling content and relieved at the turnout of events 

for the 20 minute break, wonpil thought they’d reconcile over what transpired between them and mind their own business soon enough— even if he thinks it’s hard to do that now knowing something about her

which intrigues wonpil 

and, quite frankly, he’d like to talk to her more

just so he has an excuse to watch her emotions paint her face beautifully

but there was a pause right after their short conversation 

and in real Awkward Wonpil Fashion, he shows her the 30 page reading material, in all of its flimsy glory and starts asking questions about it

“so uh did you read the whole thing? i thought it was interesting up until the part that i dozed off” 

and wonpil got his wish; he sees her eyes shine in surprise at his sudden attempt of an intellectual discussion

but she doesn’t deter him away

and actually, she’s read the whole damn thing. and wonpil was beyond amazed at the level of detail she explains to him about the parts he didn’t understand

he actually starts typing real notes while she was talking

this made her laugh in between her explanations, and wonpil didn’t understand what was so funny about

the fight or flight response

“it’s just. the way you’re typing this down so seriously, i’m sure the prof can explain it better”

wonpil shakes his head no, shakes it so much it hurt his temples

she laughs again, and he likes hearing that sound

“do you want to see what i’ve typed the past hour and a half of this class?’

“bet :p”

“actually nevermind” flashbacks of dsfkjsdjffdslkg ring true in wonpil’s mind as he quickly backspaces the nonsense in his notes

and the conversation continues from more psychology talks, to figuring out they’re in the same major but she’s a recent transfer student from last year 

and had been juggling work and school since the start of her senior year

wonpil wonders why he hasn’t seen her in the coffee shop yet

he would have done a double take the first time meeting her there for sure

“oh you’re too kind,” she suddenly replies??? 

wonpil had said his thoughts out loud 

without further embarrassing him, she says that she had only started working there since it’s more convenient for her; wonpil feels grateful she doesn’t dwell on the compliment any longer

alas, the break finishes and the droll of the professor’s voice reverberates throughout the room

this time, though, wonpil definitely feels more alert (awake enthusiastic) as the two of them exchange little comments about the class material

and before you know it, class is over and wonpil is an excited bunny. since they’re by the door they got to leave before everyone else

wonpil thinks it’s time to part ways… but this time they’re not fully strangers at all. they’re taking the same class, same major, they even know each other’s name. 

surely this isn’t the last time, right?

“hey, wonpil…” he didn’t even realize that they have started walking towards the bus stop together

“hm?”

“i think i owe you one,” she starts, stopping her tracks to face him. eyebrows up in hesitation, wonpil waits for her to finish

“you know, for taking over your personal space for my own comfort”

“oh that? haha that’s nothing :)” honestly if wonpil can do it again he’d volunteer in a heartbeat

“no, really. let me make it up to you. coffee? on me? i make a mean cappuccino” she winks 

it strikes through wonpil’s heart 

no need for resuscitation.. yet

“or a matcha latte? whatever you’d like it’ll be on me”

“anything!” wonpil exclaims, suddenly realizing the offer being given to him, the excitement bubbling up inside him again. “i mean, anything you’d like to have me try. surprise me,” he corrects himself

that manages to have her grin widely, eyes twinkling in excitement similar to wonpil’s and he thinks

they can get along

they can get to know each other better this way 

“would you be up to go for one now?” 

“oh— oh! now?” 

“yeah, that way none of us takes the risk of falling asleep back on the bus hehe” 

well, he really wouldn’t mind that happening a second time

“really now, wonpil?”

andddd he exposed himself again

it’s fine, she tugs his hand slightly to lead him to the bus that has arrived and wonpil follows in a daze

it’s a little full, so they have no other choice but to stand and hold onto the railings above

“guess no falling asleep here…” she teases, and now wonpil can’t use his hands to hide his blushing face

but the feeling of her just close by 

and the scent of coffee lingering in the air

in between them

just inches away from each other

it’ll do for now

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 41

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.6k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE

- notes: hope the smut isnt too much lol! oh and, couldnt find the gif i wanted but this one will do. this chapter was fun to write and i dont think it was a filler chapter lol! only a few chapters left, im super nervous! at the same time, this story is getting less and less popular sooo idk, maybe its time? idk. if you read and comment and like and reblog, I LOVE YOU!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : posting them at the bottom because of spoilers!

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 41 : His chapter

NIALL

May 15th, 2018

I was so close to ask her to marry me when we were in Spain. I kept looking at her ring finger, imagining what the ring I had bought would look on her hand, and telling myself that now that we were official, anything was possible, and I wanted it. I wanted the impossible, I wanted everything. The words "marry me" almost escaped my lips exactly 11 times and even now, I was wondering how I actually stopped myself from just doing it.

We were back in California for a few days and I had convinced her to spend her time in my house instead to go back to hers. Most likely, Louis was there with Eleanor or he was spending all his time at her place. Either way, I thought we were better at my house but I knew that eventually, she'd want to see Louis and get back in her stuff anyway.

I woke up and blinked a few times as the sun peeked through the curtains but not enough to light the room. It was dark but I could see clearly and when I turned around, I realized she was laying on her back, completely naked, and the covers were only hiding one of he legs. She was still asleep, her hair messy around her head, and I couldn't help but reach for my cock as my eyes roamed on her. I got on my knees gently, making sure I wouldn't make the mattress move too much, and let one of my hands run on her breasts while I grabbed my dick with the other, stroking it slowly. I rubbed my thumb on one of her nipples until it got hard and finally, I let my fingertips brush down her body to reach between her legs, her skin so soft against mine. Slowly, I moved one of her knees before letting two of my fingers run on her slit. The more I was touching her, the harder I was getting and I moved closer to her on my knees just to rub the tip of my cock on her nipple.

"Jesus Christ." I whispered before she moved lightly in her sleep, letting out a low whimper.

I stopped moving and waited until she did too to continue touching her, my heart skipping a beat. The sensation was incredible and it made me want to rub my dick all over her body. I turned my body slightly and reached for her lips with my dick this time, feeling myself get even hornier when she licked her lips. It brushed on the tip of my cock and I let out a low groan as my eyes fluttered. I knew the whole thing was turning me on more than it should and all I could think about was getting between her legs and pushing my cock deep inside her.

Instead, I reached for her pussy again, rubbing one of my fingers gently on her clit as I felt her get wetter. Her body jerked a bit and she moaned low again before I let out an other curse word and slipped two fingers inside her, moving them in and out of her extremely slowly. I could hear how wet she was and I felt my cock throb in my hand. I was so turned on by her that I could barely believe I was doing that but she was so gorgeous, laying there completely naked in my white sheets, and the way she made me hard was just un-fucking-believable. I finally moved between her legs very slowly only to rub the tip of my dick on her clit. It slid easily due to how wet she was from me fingering her and this time, she let out a louder moan as one of her legs twitched. I jerked off harder between her legs as I pushed my thumb inside of her and rubbed her clit harder with one of my fingers until I was closer to an orgasm and without thinking, I took my hand away and pushed the tip of my cock inside her. Her walls pressed around it and I knew she was waking up. I took my cock out as I felt an orgasm reach me, cumming a bit inside of her before spurting on her pussy.

"Holy fuck."

I let out a moan as I watched her pussy get covered with my cum and when I looked up, her lips were parted and she was staring at me.

"Did you just cum all over me?" she asked in a low tone, her eyebrows raised.

"I.. did. I'm sorry."

Her eyes fell on my still hard cock as I shook it slightly and she bit her bottom lip before spreading her legs apart more and reaching for her pussy. I looked at her fingers gather some of my cum and slide it down until her clit. She let out a louder whimper as she started rubbing herself with the vestige of my orgasm and I couldn't help but let out an other curse word.

"You should have woken me up." she pointed, her voice a mix of a whimper and a whisper.

"I know petal but you looked so vulnerable and hot just laying there, naked and asleep." I admitted, my eyes never leaving her fingers as she flicked them on her clit. "Fuck, you love rubbing your clit with my sperm?"

I didn't know if it was my words or just the fact that she was touching herself but she let out an other moan and her back arched suddenly. I brought one of my hands closer and once again pushed two of my fingers inside her as she kept touching herself and squirming on the bed.

"I want to watch you cum, darling."

It only took her about half a minute before she started shaking and when my named escaped her lips, I could swear I got dizzy and my vision got blurred for a few seconds.

"Oh fuck, Niall!"

Something stirred in my stomach and I just stared at her as she came, grinding on my fingers and squirming even more. When she came down from her high and relaxed on the mattress, I took my fingers out and slowly lied down over her. Her eyes were still closed and her lips were still parted as she panted. I brushed my mouth against hers and she whimpered as I felt my whole body vibrate.

"You did so well, petal. That was so fucking hot."

She brought her hands to my head, slipping her fingers in my hair, before kissing me deeply. I tilted my head slightly, tasting her as she whimpered in my mouth. I swallowed her moans and when i pulled away to look in her eyes, she sighed low.

"I don't want to go to work today." she admitted, raising her nose up and making an amused smile appear on my lips.

"You have to."

"I could call in sick?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and her face full of hope.

I laughed and shook my head, making her groan immediately. "Nope, you have to go. I'll go with you, how's that?"

"Better than nothing I guess."

I chuckled and got up, searching through my stuff to find clean clothes and when I glanced at her, my lips curled again.

"Stop staring at me and get ready. I'll make coffee and we can leave." The alarm on her phone started ringing as soon as I finished my sentence and I raised my eyebrows. "See? You have to wake up. Take a shower, I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

I heard her groan and turned around when I heard a sound only to realize she had tried throwing a pillow at me but had failed miserably. I laughed and shook my head but turned back around and reached the kitchen.

We ate toasts quickly as we walked to the car and remained silent the whole ride until we were there. We should both have gotten out of the car, I knew it, but instead, we remained sitting there, looking in front of us, and I kept wondering how we should act together. We were never the type to show too much affection in public. It happened before with friends around, or family sometimes, but not when random strangers could see. This time, we were with a lot of strangers and I was wondering if I should hold her hand or not. Should I kiss her temple sometimes? Or just go straight for the mouth? I didn't know anymore and if I wanted to be frank, I had never asked myself that question in any other relationships before.

"Ready?"

"No."

I frowned and turned to her but it took her a few seconds to look back at me. She sighed and shrugged before shaking her head a bit.

"Things have been particularly awkward with Dylan even since Heidi posted all those lyrics about us on instagram." she admitted, closing her eyes tight for a few seconds before opening them again. "We're filming the season's finale today and, I don't know, I'm nervous I guess."

"Anything special about the final episode?"

She stared at me, her eyes roaming on my face, and her lips parted. "His character is breaking up with my character."

We looked at each other in silence and after a while, I reached for her hand on her thigh and squeezed her fingers tight. I knew why it made her feel like this and I knew it was not only because of her relationship with Dylan being awkward. This scene was our scene. It was that day I broke up with her and tore her heart in pieces. I held my breath, feeling suddenly extremely exposed. I had no really realized before how big this was. Of course, I knew her tv show was inspired by our story but it just hit me that people were actually watching it, and I was wondering how many of them now knew almost exactly what had happened between us?

"I'm here with you. It'll go amazingly, trust me." I pointed out, knowing it was not the right time to have a big discussion about her writing. "Remember in Italy? I almost believed you were breaking up with me to go marry your ex boyfriend."

She chuckled a bit. "You totally believed it."

"Maybe I did." I quickly replied. "But only for a few minutes, because I believe in us, I believe in our love, and I believe in you. So you go in there and play that scene and show them how incredible you are."

Her lips curled a bit and she rolled her eyes before finally nodding. I smiled more and we got out of the car to walk in. I thought I'd see Dylan first but when my eyes met Heidi's, I felt my heart jump up in my throat, almost throwing it up. I felt Olivia tense next to me and I held my breath when she saw us. She sent us a big smile but I could read so much pettiness behind it that it made me grimace.

"Hi!"

I glanced at Olivia who frowned and licked her lips. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you didn't know?" Heidi replied, her eyebrows raised and her lips curled into a satisfied smile. "I'm with Dylan now."

As if on cue, he appeared and stood next to Heidi but I noticed his eyes never left my girlfriend and it bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Of course, I couldn't expect him to just forget about her, after all, he was ready to marry her, but at the same time I wanted him to move on as quickly as he could. If that was to be done with Heidi then be it : i was ready to put up with her on the set.

"I hope it doesn't bother you too much." Heidi added, tilting her head and looking at Liv who sent her a smile back.

Dylan and I were just keeping quiet, not really sure what we were supposed to say or do, and I pushed both my hands in my pockets.

"Oh no, not at all. It's all good." Olivia replied with a shrug. "I mean, it's not the first time you run after one of my exes, you know? Oh! Maybe I could make you a list of all the men and women I dated? Would save you some time."

I almost choked on my own spit, not really expecting that reply. I knew what kind of person my girlfriend was but she had always played it low with Heidi because she knew it was not worth it. It seemed like this time, she had had enough.

I thought Heidi would answer something rude but instead, her facial expression changed into a surprised one and finally, her eyes got smaller. She was pissed, I knew it, but she'd never prove it to Olivia. She found her smile back and breathed in, wrapping her arm around Dylan's and looking up at him.

"Can you show me the set?"

He nodded and they left but he glanced back at us when he was farther and I finally sighed, turning to my girlfriend who was smiling. I thought she'd be a bit mad, or upset that her ex boyfriend was now with my ex girlfriend, but she didn't seem to care... until her smile fell down and she closed her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong suddenly?" I asked with a frown, taking a step closer and wrapping my fingers around her arm.

"I just realized Heidi was going to be there for the finale." she admitted, looking up at me. "She'll... see all of it. She'll see how it went... between... us."

It was the very first time Olivia admitted that her tv show was about us and I licked my lips, feeling something stir in my stomach. I didn't care that Heidi saw it, but I cared that the whole world would.

"You shouldn't care about her. She's with Dylan just to get to you or get back at us. She's here to piss you off and make you feel like shit. Don't let it get to you. Don't let her win."

She turned her whole body my way and her lips curled slightly into a fond smile. Slowly, she got on her tiptoe and pressed her lips gently against mine. It took me by surprise but I just answered her kiss and when she got back down on her feet, she tilted her head.

"Liv, can I ask you something?" I asked seriously, licking my lips as she nodded, her smile faltering a bit. "I know your tv show is based on our story but... for the next season, could you change that?"

I was scared to hurt her but at the same time, it was something I just needed to ask. If she said she didn't want to, I would accept it, but she knew my private life was a big deal for me and when she started nibbling on her bottom lip, I knew she felt guilty. I could read it on her face.

"I'm sorry, Niall. I never thought people would connect the show with our story but that was stupid of me. I mean, when I wrote that, I thought I'd never see you again, so I sort of wrote to... let it all out, you know?" she stopped and sighed. "Of course I'll make it different. I'll think of a whole other story for the characters, and make sure it has nothing in common with our story. Except maybe... well, the fact that they're soulmates."

I smiled and nodded, chuckling slightly. "I don't know if they are, but I know we are."

                                                 ----

I wandered around the studio while they were filming, and finally ended up at the cafeteria to grab a bite. I sat alone and started checking messages I got on my phone when I felt a presence in front of me and looked up. I was not surprised to see Heidi but I was not pleased either.

"Niall, we need to talk."

I blinked a few times and licked my lips, not really in the mood to discuss with her, but I finally just sighed and put my phone down as she sat down. I noticed she was holding a sheet in her hands and it made me frown. I didn't have time to ask her about it, she simply leaned against the table to move closer to me and instinctively, I moved my upper body away from hers.

"You know you could have just called me." she let out, confusing me and making me frown. "I know you miss me, and honestly I think we should get back together. I forgive you, I know you were a bit lost and..." she shook her head and I was even more puzzled. "It doesn't matter."

I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts back into place but I just licked my lips again. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She put the sheet on the table and pushed it closer to me. It took me half a second to realize it was my handwriting and after reading only a few words, I knew it was which song of mine.

"Wait, where did you find that? I thought I lost it!"

The song was not finished but as my eyes roamed on the lyrics, I had a bunch of ideas on how to actually complete it and I held my breath.

"I found it in my boxes... the ones from your place that you've had sent to my place." she explained, reaching out to put her fingers on top of my hand.

I stopped moving completely and my eyes dropped to our hands. I felt frozen in place, a bit startled by her behavior and not really knowing how to react.

"What are you doing?" I just asked, my eyes still staring at her fingers brushing gently against my hand.

"You're right. We should get back together, Niall." she added. "I mean, I know you're trying to make me jealous with her but let's be real. Who could really be jealous of her?"

Quickly, I shook my head and pulled my hand away from hers, mad that she would talk shit about my girlfriend again. "Do you even listen to yourself? You know damn well I'm with Liv and.. aren't you with Dylan? I love her, okay! I'm not trying to make anyone jealous, I'm just trying to love her the way she deserves to be loved... the way I failed to love her the first time. And you have nothing to do with any of this. What even makes you think I want to be with you?" I was frowning, getting pissed at her behavior, and I started wondering why I ever wanted to be with her in first place.

"Because of that song! You wrote it for me and put it in one of my boxes for me to find!"

I rolled my eyes, angry that she could even think I wrote one song about her.

"I wrote this about Olivia! I wrote that in the first week I saw her again at the bakery after not seeing her for over a year. It isn't about you, Heidi. It got in one of your boxes by mistake!" I explained a bit rudely, looking in her eyes to make sure she understood. "I love Olivia, not you. You need to let it go, okay? And those instagram posts you make.. For fuck's sake, Heidi! What's the point? Make me feel bad? Alright, I'm sorry I cheated on you, I should have broken up with you before and that was a mistake, okay? Now please, leave me the fuck alone."

Without giving her time to answer, I got up and left her by herself at the table before hiding in Liv's dressing room. I searched for a pen, my heart racing as I feared I'd forget the words dancing around in my head, and finally found one before leaning against the counter. I started scribbling fast, almost dropping the pen a few times as I held my breath. I scratched the first line and quickly replaced it to 'Maybe we are the champagne lovers' and went to the chorus to add a few lines, too.

'So come on love me when the lights burn low Meet me underneath the sheets Cause you got a hold of me baby, enough to pull me back in deep You used to love me when the lights burned low Now we’re tearing at the seams We've both had enough of this, baby, so promise me that when you leave You won’t say you’ll come back to me.'

I stared at the words and re-read them a few times before licking my lips. I was still lost in my thoughts when the door opened and I jumped a little, turning to see my girlfriend walking in. I sent her a fond smile and moved up from the counter as she wrapped her arms around me. I held her close, the paper burning on my fingertips, and kissed the top of her head.

I couldn't stop thinking about the lyrics and remembered exactly how I felt when I wrote most of the song. I missed her and I missed what we had. I didn't like where we were and I couldn't believe she was marrying someone else. The parts about sheets I had added reminded me of when we would hide under the covers and we had done it quite often in the past few weeks, making the whole meaning even more powerful.

"How did it go?"

"Not bad for now." she admitted, moving away. "But I think we'll film the rest an other day. It took longer than it was supposed to."

"Good, then maybe Heidi won't be there when you film the final scene." I suggested, raising my eyebrows.

"Hopefully." she replied with a smile before frowning. "What's that?"

My traits softened and I brought the sheet up again to read the lyrics. "A song. For you."

"Can I hear it?" she asked making me look up. Her eyebrows were raised and she was biting her bottom lip. She was so endearing that I almost said yes.

"Soon, okay?. I need a piano for this one."

                                                       ----

May 19th, 2018

Olivia actually slept a good part of the day and I ended up at the pub with Julia, who was back to California too since her tour was over. I had an other first part for the other half of the tour and I knew I was going to miss her dearly. It was not like me to be super emotional, but with time, Julia easily became one of my closest friends and traveling with her had been a blast. I couldn't pretend that the fact that she listened to me complain about my love life didn't help us to become closer but it would be a lie.

"Where's your girlfriend today? I wanted to see her." I felt my lips curl more as I looked at her and she frowned. "What?"

"Oh no it's just... hearing someone else call her my 'girlfriend' is very cool." I pointed out with a chuckle, scratching the back of my head, feeling a bit embarrassed. I couldn't believe I had said that.

"That's what she is now, right?" Julia asked with a small laugh. "That's what you've wanted for months. You've been complaining about it every single day!"

"What? Come on, don't exaggerate." I argued, raising my nose up.

"I'm not!" she laughed again before getting a bit more serious. "I'm very happy for you, Niall. Now it's time to move forward, you know?"

"Meaning?" I raised my eyebrows after taking a long sip of beer.

"Meaning... plan the future and don't fuck up."

I stared at her and nodded with a small smile. I knew she was right, and she was not the only one who told me to not fuck it all up this time. I really didn't intend to, and I knew I wouldn't. I had lost Olivia before, and I had learned from that. I was not going to lose her again.

I was a bit tipsy when I got back home but she didn't even notice me. I stared at her, wearing only one of my t-shirts and a pair of black panties, standing in front of the tv in the living room as old songs from the 90's played full volume in the background. I was pretty sure I recognized a Backstreet Boys song ending and just as I thought it couldn't be funnier, a Spice Girls song followed and she started dancing and singing very loudly. I started laughing but she didn't hear me because of how loud the music was and it made me happy to know I could watch her a few more minutes. She jumped on the couch and pretended to have a microphone as she sang the lyrics and tried to do the dance and when she just started dancing around my living room, I took a few steps closer and she jumped, putting one of her hands on her chest as if it would help slow down the beatings of her heart.

"Fuck, you scared me!" she let out with a chuckle after pausing the music.

I didn't say anything. I just stared at her with a fond smile, thinking of everything we went through and how much I loved her.

"Move in." I let out as she was taking a sip of wine.

She frowned and chuckled again. "What?"

"Move in with me. Here."

Her lips parted and her eyebrows raised before she let out the air from her lungs quickly from her mouth in a surprised way. She licked her lips and cleared her throat before putting her glass back on the coffee table and taking a step closer.

"Are you... sure you can handle that?"

I knew she was referring to the fact that we were different, but it didn't matter. Yea, she was messy and yea it was annoying, but it was such a small problem and I knew we could compromise. In fact, I knew we'd both be way happier if we lived together and I wanted it. I wanted it so bad I could feel it in my bones.

"Yes." I let out in a low tone. "I want your grumpy face in the morning. I want your way too sweet morning coffee... I-I want your mess all over my fucking house, Olivia. I want to smell you when I step foot here after a long work day. I want to start a life with you. I want you to have your own dressers, not just a few drawers in mine. I want to share everything I have with you. I want to share myself with you."

She pressed her lips together and swallowed and I could swear she was tearing up.

"I want all that, too." she admitted, tilting her head. "I want to spend my life with you, Niall."

My lips curled in a big smile. "Then let's take that step. Move in with me."

It took her about a minute but she finally just chuckled and shook her head. "Okay. Let's do this."

REQUESTS

(i changed the first one just a little bit hope its ok!)

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Record Store (pt 2)

Thomas Brodie Sangster x reader

Word count: 1989

Part 1

I hope y’all like this mini series! I am having fun writing it, enjoy!

“Hey Y/N!” Jane yelled

Jane was another one of your best friends. You had known her since high school but you became close when you found out you would be attending the same college. Jane is studying to be a pediatric oncologist, at least for now. You were walking across campus from your previous class headed to Anesthesiology. Jane was joining you in this class. You hadn’t really told anyone about you and Thomas because you weren’t sure if he wanted you. And who says there is anything going on, you haven’t even been on a date yet. You could go on this date and then decide he isn’t for you. So you didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

“Hey Jane! Are you ready to die of boredom?” Anesthesiology was not your strong suit nor your main interest. And if you were being honest it was very boring, but it was a requirement.

“Yup i have had so much coffee i think it's going to be impossible to fall asleep this time” she said practically bouncing up and down

You laughed “great!”

“You wanna hang out tonight there is going to be a party, or we could just chill, get some homework done” she asked

Great , now you had to explain why you couldn't hang out. “Um actually i am busy, sorry” you said

“That's fine, what are you doing?” she asked looking at you

“Um work”

“No your not”

“No im not” you both laughed, you sucked at lying “i have a date actually”

“Oh really? Who's the lucky guy?” she asked teasingly

“I met him at Royal Records, he asked Felix where i worked, he came to the cafe and asked for my number. He is taking me to dinner tonight” you said, trying to avoid saying his name

“Cool, who is he though?” she asked

“Um his name is thomas” you said

“Nice! Well you will have to introduce me, and make sure to ask if he has any friends” she said, winking at you and giggling. Oh I'm sure he has friends, you thought, famous ones. “Where is he taking you?”

“Chiltern Firehouse” you responded

“Wow, he must be rich, that's a really nice restaurant, i've never been” she rambled

You laughed nervously, before now you never thought through if you two did become a thing, how hard it would be. He is famous and probably rich, not that you cared you just figured that the public would. You shook the bad thought out of your head and walked into class taking your seat.

After your 4 classes, you went home, or to your dorm. Your roommate, Cleo, was sitting on the couch eating from a bag of chips. You greeted her and went straight to your room. You looked at the time it was 4:13 pm, you had about 2 hours before you were supposed to meet him. Your reservation was at 7:00 but Thomas had texted saying that you could go for a walk beforehand. You showered, did your hair and put on make -up. You ended up picking a champagne colored silk dress that just before your knees. You grabbed your purse and your jacket and headed out the door. Thoms had offered many times to pick you up, but because of the dorms you thought it would be too complicated. You told him you would meet him outside of your dorm building, and then he would pick you up. As you walked out the door of the building you felt a brush of cold breeze hit your face, you smiled. Then a black car pulled up and Thomas stepped out of it.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, love” he said with a smile, he took your hand and opened the passenger side car door for you.

“Thank you kind sir” you said jokingly

“Of Course my lady” he shut the door and headed onto the other side, he sat down and you were off. You loved London at night, all the lights and the people. You smiled as you looked around, you didn't know it but Thomas kept glancing over at you and admiring your beauty.

THOMAS’ POV

She looked absolutely gorgeous. It has been a while since I have been on a date so I hope she likes it. I couldn't help but admire her features as she looked so longingly at the city. She looked at me and smiled, I looked back on the road and smiled too.

“How long have you been acting?” she asked sweetly

I was genuinely surprised that she didn't know, most girls that I go on a date with know more about me than I do myself, “almost my entire life, how long have you been wanting to be a doctor?” i asked

“Since highschool. I have been exposed to a lot of medical stuff my entire life. My dad was a surgeon. And I just want to help people” she said fidgeting with her hands

“Oh nice! Would you like to play some music?” i asked handing her my phone

“I would love to” a few seconds later back in black came on and she started mumbling the lyrics. I smiled, she was adorable. Throughout the song her words became more clear and I was able to hear her voice. It was beautiful. She even made the roughness of the song sound smooth and angelic. I kept looking over at her, I couldn't help it.

About 5 minutes later I pulled into the valet parking lot. I walked to the other side, opening her door and helping her out. We walked across the street to the park that was lit by some street lights. We had about 30 minutes to kill before our reservation.

“So Y/N, tell me a little bit about yourself,” I asked her. I was honestly intrigued by her. I wanted to know everything.

“Um well what do you want to know?” she asked as we walked along

“Anything really” i responded, still looking at her

“Well as you know i am a med student at cambridge, i went there for college too, i actually graduated top of my class.” she said proudly

“Wow, that's awesome! You're pretty smart huh?”

“Ya i guess you could say that, how about you? Why did you decide to become an actor?” she asked

I looked ahead “well my parents where theater actors, i also didn't always like school so acting became a sort of escape”

“That's sweet, why didn't you like school?” she pushed, my hand was swaying net to her as we walked, our fingers brushing occasionally

“I guess I just struggled with reading especially” I gave in. I put my hand into hers slowly, her hands were cold. She looked at me and I smiled, she smiled back. The conversation continued, and we kept walking until it was time to go inside.

NORMAL POV

They escorted us to our table and we sat down. It was a very nice restaurant. There was classical music playing in the background, you could hear the sound of forks against plates and wine glasses clinking together.

“Bonjour! How can I help you today?” the waiter asked, you could hear the french accent in his voice, you decided that you would try to have a conversation.

“Bonjour, je pense que nous allons juste prendre un verre pour le moment” you told him that you were just going to order some drinks for the moment. The waiter smiled, you looked at Thomas, his mouth was opened in surprise. You giggled

“Great, what can i get for you, we have a very nice champagne that just came in if you would like?” the waiter suggested

“That sounds great, is uh that ok with you?” thomas asked

“Yup” you nodded

“Ok we will take two glasses of that please, thank you, oh and some waters” thomas said

“Of course i'll be right back” the waiter left

“Sooo,” Thomas started, “you speak french huh?”

“That's really cool, i took french in highschool but im afraid its all left me now” he said leaning closer to you

“Shame, we would have secret conversations” you said giggling

Thomas loved to laugh, it sounded so happy.

A few minutes later the waiter came back with your drinks. You both ordered your food which was brought out shortly after. The food was very fancy, and very good. After you finished Thomas paid and escorted you back outside.

“Would you like to go get some ice cream?” he asked putting his hand in the small of your back

You nodded “that sounds amazing”

The two of you walked down the street hand and hand. You both were adorably nervous. Both you and Thomas had red cheeks. The ice cream shop was adorable.

“Hi, what can I get for you today?” the girl at the counter asked

You looked at Thomas, asking permission to order, he nodded encouragingly.

“Hi! May i please have the lavender honeycomb please” you said politely

“Yes, and for you sir?” she asked

“I'll have the same” thomas said taking out his wallet

You smiled at him

The girl handed you your ice cream and the two of you left. You licked your ice cream cone happily.

“How is it?” asked thomas

“Amazing! Thank you so much” you said

“Anytime, this had been really fun” he said his eyes scanning over your face

“Yes it has” you said smiling at him

“Oh um you've uh, you have some-” he tried to show you where on your face the ice cream was but you couldn't seem to find it

“Did I get it?” you asked laughing

He laughed “uh no, here um, may i?”

You nodded, his thumb brushed under your lower lip, revoking the ice cream. You felt the butterflies return.

“There” he said

You blushed smiling, “thanks”

“Your very welcome” he said smiling back at you

You finished your ice cream and walked back over to the car. The car ride back to your dorm was filled with laughs and singing. You could seem to stop smiling, and neither could thomas. By the time you got to your dorm it was late, but you didn't want to get out of the car. Thomas opened the door for you and helped you out. He walked you to the door of the building

“I had an amazing time tonight” he said

“Me too, we should do this again” you said

“Yes, yes we should” it was quiet, he moved a piece of stray hair behind your ear

“I never told you how beautiful your voice was” he said looking into your eyes

You blushed “thank you”

“Ya” was all he said before his lips were on yours. His lips were soft and moved perfectly with yours. His hands move to your hips, pulling you closer to him. You noses brush against each other. Your heart began to race. The two of you pulled away, both in need of air.

He stared into your eyes, and pecke you lips one last time

“good night Y/N” he said in a whisper, he still had a tight hold on you

“Good night” you said

He looked down and let go fo you, he turned to walk away, but he didnt he didn't even make it 3 steps before he was turning around and coming back to you

“Maybe just one more kiss” he said, bridging your lips to meet him again. You smiled into the kiss. This boy would be the end of you. Then, too soon it was over, he broke apart and smiled

“Bye” he said with a slight laugh

You giggled “bye”

He walked away looking back at you, before getting into the car. You waved him off. Then when he was out of sight, you squealed. Maybe there was hope for you two yet.

[nervous-ninja]

Part 2 of untitled

If you want to read the first part, such as it is. You can find it here: Part 1

It was nearly the rainy season now and even the night felt thick and cloying with heat and humidity as Mew rushed out of the air-conditioned building and into the parking lot.  His car stood illuminated by one of the few functioning streetlights revealing Gulf asleep in the passenger seat, slumped against the half lowered window.  Mew watched his breath rising and falling in the light. Briefly, Mew considered waking him but quickly changed his mind as he admired the way sleep eased the man’s handsome features into a peaceful expression. 

Before climbing into the drivers seat, Mew slipped his sweater off and gingerly laid over Gulf’s sleeping form, worried about the cold air from the car AC. The other man stirred as he did so, hair falling over his eyes and across the bridge of his nose. Without a second thought Mew reached out and brushed the strands back into place, letting his fingertips linger on the warm skin of Gulf’s temple. The young man seemed to relax at his touch, burrowing into the warmth of the makeshift blanket, remaining quite oblivious and unbothered otherwise. For a moment Mew felt himself relax as well, a private smile on his lips, before the events of the past day reasserted themselves. The bone deep ache that came from missing him when he was this close came rushing back. He felt very tired all of a sudden and with a heavy sigh started the engine. 

The drive was not long at this time of night, the traffic having mostly subsided. Within 30 minutes Mew was pulling into the driveway of his home with Gulf still quietly slumbering in the next seat. 

The Jongcheveevatt house was dark. Mew’s parents and sister, even Chopper, were away for an annual family trip south. The filming schedule kept Mew away this year but he hoped to join them for the final leg of their trip in a few days. 

“Nong.” Mew called softly, trying to wake Gulf without startling him. The other man stirred but showed no signs of waking. Out of habit Mew began to reach for Gulf’s ear -- a reliable method he used to gently wake his co-star when he slept on set -- but stopped short recalling how Gulf had recoiled from his touch earlier that day. He opted for gently shaking his shoulder instead. 

“We’re here.” Mew said as Gulf finally began to stir and opened his eyes. He couldn’t see Gulf’s expression in the dark but he could feel the nervous energy of the younger man as he made no move to exist the vehicle.  He waited for what felt like an eternity in the silence, discomfort practically radiating from the man next to him.

“I can take you home if you want” Mew finally offered tentatively, fighting to keep the hurt from his voice. When no reply came he made to get out of the car, frustration and irritation building. “While you make up your mind...” he began to say and started as Gulf’s hand closed over his own. Mew stared from their hands to Gulf’s face, but the other man would not look at him. 

“So you’re staying then?” Mew asked, too cautious to let any hope resolve his worry just yet. 

“Yes.” Gulf said quietly, squeezing Mew’s hand as he spoke, “If that’s still alright with you.” he added, taking back his hand.

“Fine. I’ll see you inside then” Mew said getting out of the car. He heard the door open and close followed by the sound of Gulf’s steps trailing behind him. They went through the motions of unlocking the front door, entering the security code and taking off their shoes in silence. 

“You can wait here.” Mew said without looking back as he headed towards the kitchen. “I’ll see if there’s something we can eat.” 

He didn’t bother turning on the lights in the kitchen as he opened the fridge and surveyed their food options. He was considering some three day old take out noodles when Gulf was suddenly behind him, his arms around Mew’s waist.  Mew tried to turn to face the younger man but Gulf responded by tightening his grip and pressing himself firmer against Mew’s back giving him no room to maneuver. 

“Everything...ok?” Mew asked, trying to processes this new development. Not that Gulf never initiated a hug before, but it was rare and certainly unusual after the day they’ve had. 

“No”. Gulf mumbled against his shoulder, his breath warm against Mew’s neck. 

"Ready to talk then?" Mew asked gently as he placed the likely inedible noodles back in the fridge shutting the door, and casting them both back into darkness.  Resigned, Mew folded his arms over Gulf’s, his thumbs running gentle circles over Gulf’s knuckles and tried very hard not to think about the cartwheeling in his stomach, or whether Gulf could hear the way his pulse quickened at the press of their bodies.

“No” Gulf said. 

Well, this was better than no talking at all. Mew thought. 

“You aren’t mad at me anymore?” 

"I never was." Gulf’s response came muffled as he pressed his face into Mew’s back.  “I’m sorry I made you think I was.” He added, his voice sounding so repentant and sad Mew flinched with the effort to turn around again. 

“Can you let me go so I can look at you.” Mew pleaded.

"No. I need to ask you something and I don't want you to look at me when I do." Gulf said. 

"Ok. I promise I won't turn around. You don’t have to squeeze so hard though. I’m not going anywhere.” Mew tried to make his voice sound as gentle and reassuring as he could.

The hold eased slightly and Mew let out a breath.

“Khun Phi, do you think that I rely too much on you?” Gulf stammered out.

Mew was so caught off guard by the question he wasn’t sure he heard correctly. “I don’t understand.” The question seemed preposterous to Mew. He had spent the last three days thinking he was the offending party, that he somehow pushed too hard or did too much. He was always the one hugging Gulf, reaching for his hand, pulling him into his lap. Where in the world would Gulf have gotten the idea that it was he who might be a problem. 

He felt Gulf take a deep breath before continuing. “Do you think I’m too clingy? Too needy?”

“You mean beside the present situation” Mew said, as he gently rubbed Gulf’s forearms still firmly around his waist. 

“Yes. Besides now.” Gulf groaned with irritation. “I know I rely a lot on you to take care of me a lot. Sometimes even when I don’t need to.” Gulf’s voice came out rushed and nervous, as if he was afraid of losing his nerve before he could get all the words out. I think sometimes I let myself seem more in need than I am just so you would. I like when you look after me.” He finished, his voice trailing off. 

“So you have been pushing me away and ignoring me for days because you thought I was what, sick of you?” Mew was beginning to grow frustrated with the situation. He badly wanted to look at Gulf, to reassure him, but every time he made even the slighted move Gulf stiffened and tightened his grip.“Why would you suddenly think that way? Have I ever done or said anything to make you feel like you were a chore or a burden?” Mew tried to hide the surge of panic in his voice.

“No. Never. It’s just that….” Gulf’s voice cracked “You told the whole world your heart was available.” he stammered out. “I tried to dismiss it, I know it’s just an interview. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. It just sort of hit me, the inevitability of losing you one day.”  As he spoke his voice grew calmer, sadder, resigned. “ I realised how much of my happiness is wrapped up with you, how much I really need you. Maybe my needing you as much as I do gets in the way of...” His voice trailed off. He pulled his arms back, letting Mew go then and took a step back, taking the warmth with him. 

Mew spun on him, fighting the urge to grab him and shake him. “In the way of what?” 

Gulf sighed and looked down. “Someone you should be taking care of like this. Someone who can be for you what I...what we...” he shook his head and seemed to give up trying to find the right word. He met Mew’s eyes, the soft brown of them pleading for understanding before he dropped his gaze again and took another step back. “I’m sorry.” He said finally. “I never meant to make you worry.”

Mew’s heart felt ready to break. How could he have misread the signs so badly? How could he have looked into those eyes all day and not seen the fear or the hurt. 

Mew took a step towards Gulf, and took hold of one hand pulling him a closer. He gently grabbed the young man’s chin with his free hand and guided his face to look up and meet his eyes. 

“Listen to me, Tuaeng.” Mew said, cupping his cheek, smiling at the way his Nong’s face seemed to light up at the sound of his pet name. "I like taking care of you." He smiled at him in kind. "I'm so grateful that you trust me to do so. Its the only way I know to give you something back for everything you've given me." He ran his thumb across the other man’s soft cheek. He was so happy to be looking into those soft brown eyes again. "But more than that, I like taking care of you because you are one of the most important people in my life.” he said with a gentle smile. “You are not, nor have you ever been, in the way of anything. Do you understand?” Gulf nodded, a shy smile touching the corner of his mouth. 

In hindsight, Mew should have seen it coming. He did see it coming. He sensed it in his own blood, felt it in the way his heart beat like a hummingbird in his chest, the way thoughts began to sound like white noise in his head the moment he pulled Gulf closer and touched his face. These were only the early warning signs. He also saw Gulf’s gaze linger on his mouth a little too long, felt his breath quicken. Knew he was holding him too long. He knew it was coming and he should have stopped it. 

He didn’t. 

It was Gulf who moved first, closing the space between them, crashing into him, pushing his back against the fridge. Gulf brushed his mouth against Mew’s in a tentative, feather light kiss that ended abruptly, leaving vicious hunger in its wake. He pulled back examining Mew’s face, searching his eyes for approval. “Tuaeng..st” Mew began, the word coming out in a hoarse wanton whisper, sounding very much like encouragement. The second word caught in his throat, he simply couldn’t remember it now and then it was too late. 

Accepting the invitation in Mew’s voice, Gulf claimed his mouth again. As if making up for the chasteness of the first kiss, there was no restraint this time, his movements hungry and urgent. Before Mew could even processes what happened the young man abandoned his protesting lips to plant staccato kisses against his jaw and neckline, one after another, multiplying like fractals until Mew lost count.  Gulf moved too quickly from one spot to the next, mapping a reckless trail of want in his wake. Forcing Mew to stifle a frustrated groan. He found spot to tease with kisses only to move on just before Mew could properly sink into the pleasure of the feeling. His movements were clumsy and inexperienced, driven by instinct, without a hint of self-consciousness. Mew found it insanely endearing and intoxicating. Gulf made his head spin.

No longer able to stand the teasing, Mew took Gulf’s face in his hands and guided him back to his mouth. He forced Gulf’s pace to slow much as he had done in workshops, his knees nearly buckling as the younger man moaned against his mouth. Mew began to lose track of Gulfs roaming hands as they ran through his hair, griped his muscled shoulders, tugged at his shirt collar to get at more of him, echoing the random, frenzied movement of his lips a moment earlier. It was the sudden touch of cool fingertips on hot skin struggling with the button of Mew’s jeans that finally, painfully, snapped him back his senses. 

He grabbed Gulf’s hand, halting its dangerous progress.

“Stop” Mew croaked out, barely above a whisper, finally remembering how to speak as he broke the kiss with a sharp intake of breath. For a moment Gulf struggled against Mew's grip, his other hand taking over, attempting to continue the southward trajectory of it’s partner. Mew grabbed the other wrist “I said stop.” He said with more force than he intended. “We can’t do this.” Mew said, their eyes locked, breath coming in rapid and ragged. He hated himself for the crestfallen and confused look that replaced the flush of desire on Gulf’s face. “I’m sorry.” He started to say when Gulf suddenly pushed him away, wrenched both wrists out of Mew’s grip, and practically ran out of the room.  

To be continued.....

[abysmalll]

Hi. I know it’s been a while. I try to stay active on here when I can, and I reblog photos I like or poetry that resonates with me, anything really, every now and then. I can’t believe I’ve had this blog since I was 14 years old. I’m turning 25 next month. It feels like I’ve lived an entire lifetime on the internet.

I’m writing this because I need to write about it. I need to accept this experience that I am having for what it is and putting words to it helps me. It helps me cope. And I don’t care if anybody reads it. Tumblr is a dead art anyway. This is me writing to the abyss of the internet, a love letter if you will, to myself, about a traumatic experience.

It has been a week since I accidentally drugged myself with 500 mg of delta 8 cannabinoid (in the form of a gummy). I bought this “sampler pack” of what I thought to be CBD gummies a couple of weekends ago while a friend was visiting from Florida. The shop did not seem sketchy, it was a legitimate dispensary, and the men behind the counter were wearing lab coats and seemed pretty knowledgeable about THC and CBD products. Originally, I bought the sampler pack thinking it was CBD isolate only. I didn’t even think the dosage was that high, maybe 25 mg tops. You know, CBD. The thing you can buy in lotions and bath bombs at those kiosks in the mall. The safe weed alternative: suitable for relaxing muscles, calming mind and body, and relieving anxiety. The sampler pack that I bought did not have many descriptions on it: just the brand and that it was a CBD + delta 8 gummy. I did not realize that delta 8 was another form of THC. I did not know that it was a synthetically / lab altered version of a part of the weed plant or anything that would cause me to get extremely high. When I saw the packaging, I just thought, cool CBD gummies. This will help me have a relaxing night, maybe a good night’s sleep. I never bought them with the intention to get fucked up. I never would have bought them if I knew what delta 8 actually was. To be fair, it was completely misrepresented to me by the men at the store I bought them from. I was under the full impression that this was a relaxing CBD gummy sampler. I did not know that, in reality, what myself and a friend were about to consume was 1000 mg of straight cannabis product (500 mg CBD + 500 mg delta 8). From all of the research I’ve done on delta 8 (now having experienced what I experienced), in reddit forums and the like, experienced users of the weed alternative say that they stay away from anything stronger than 100 mg. 100 mg is enough to fuck you up pretty heavily. To clarify, I took 1000 mg (half CBD / half delta 8). I basically had 25x the “strong” amount for experienced users. Now some people have a hard time getting high, their tolerance is pretty up there, and they need up to 400 mg to really feel it and feel it hard. To clarify again, I still had much more than 400 mg. Now to the experience:

My friend and I had just gotten back to my place after spending the day at a town festival (nothing big due to COVID, just a couple of booths set up of people selling their handmade products, animal shelters and sanctuaries giving out informational pamphlets and volunteer lists, etc.) We got lunch with a third friend after that. I was feeling totally normal. I had a beer at lunch, but pretty sober to say the least. We parted ways with our third friend and headed back to my house. I had originally given the gummies to my friend to hold on to (we would’ve taken them a few weeks prior when I originally bought them but we ended up not that specific night) and she brought them back to me so we could try together. I hesitated at first. I held the gelatinous square in my hand, thumbed it around a bit, a little anxious at the thought of “well I hope this isn’t TOO strong” and thought “what the hell”. And I ate it. She ate the other one. Little did I know how strong it would actually turn out to be. (For context: I am a very light smoker. I have a CBD pen that is 1:1 THC but is very mellow, and I smoke J’s every now and then because I don’t like the feeling of getting too high from bongs or other methods. My friend who ate the other gummy is a daily user. She smokes CBD joints and regular weed daily, eats edibles frequently, and is working on getting her medical card for anxiety).

I felt a slight giggly out-of-it-ness after 30 minutes - right away I was feeling it, feeling something. This was what I was expecting. A very mild happy vibe. This felt okay. This felt normal for what I thought I ate. This was what I had signed up for. I still felt pretty normal besides the slight buzz. Perfect. Just something to help me relax a little bit. Something to take the edge off. Akin to drinking a beer after a long day at work. I spoke in the parking lot with my friend for 45 minutes after ingestion and we both felt and seemed pretty normal. Keep in mind, edibles take time to fully kick in. In my head I completely forgot that I ate that gummy. I thought its full purpose had been fulfilled. I thought I was at the level I was supposed to be at all along. I felt fine. My friend drove home. Thank GOD she got home before it really kicked in. I would’ve felt terrible with that on my conscience if it hit her while driving.

And then I came back inside after she left. I noticed that I felt slightly more out of it, a little bit at a Dutch angle if you will. Nothing to worry about though. Just thought to myself; oh, I’m high. This was more than I was expected. But that’s okay. I told my boyfriend (with my tail between my legs: he’s not a huge fan of weed-anything but he doesn’t care that I imbibe every now and then). I told him “babe, I just thought you should know… That I ate a gummy with ___ and I’m actually feeling high right now”. And that was that. He smirked and said “okay pothead”. Went about our usual business. I smelled myself after standing outside in the heat for 45 minutes in that parking lot and thought, ugh I stink.

And then I took a shower.

I felt okay in the shower. Just normal. The hot water rolling down my body. I wasn’t having a break from reality. Not yet anyway.

And then I got out of the shower.

I wrapped my hair in a towel. I threw on an oversized t-shirt, something comfortable. The cool air after being in a hot shower wrapped around me in a ghostly hug. At this point in time, I don’t know if the drastic change in temperature triggered it. I don’t know. All I know is it had been an hour and a half since ingestion at this point and this act of getting out of the shower was the precipice for what I was about to experience. What I was about to fall into. I FaceTimed my friend to see how she was feeling. It hadn’t hit her at all yet. Okay, slight anxiety. Was I the only one feeling this? Was I feeling something I shouldn’t be? My boyfriend and I had given her a spare TV recently and I wanted to see if she was having any troubleshooting issues with it (she was hooking it up, seeing if the google chromecast still worked, etc). We spoke on FaceTime. I anxiously asked her if she was sure she wasn’t feeling anything.. I didn’t like the prospect of me being the only one feeling out of sorts. She insisted that she was feeling fine.

And then she couldn’t speak in full sentences. I thought it was me. I thought I wasn’t hearing her correctly, or processing her words in the way I should be. Anxiety. And then she said: OH. I feel it. I am high. This is not just CBD.

And then I fell.

Not physically. I didn’t physically fall down. I sat there on FaceTime with her, and I felt myself getting higher and higher, and I already had anxiety from what I thought would be a simple CBD sleepy gummy turning out to be a full on edible experience. I felt myself (my consciousness, whatever part of my personality that makes me - me) fall out of my body. I felt myself and my body disconnect. The only way I can explain it is that feeling you get when you’re falling asleep, and your mind isn’t fully asleep yet but your body is. Where you become aware of the fact that you’re falling asleep and you panic and your consciousness snaps back into your body and you jolt out of bed, alert. That feeling. That is the closest thing to what I was experiencing. Except I wasn’t sleeping. I was fully awake. I was tripping. And not only was I tripping, I was tripping BALLS.

I felt my heart lurch out of my chest. In a shaky voice I said “I have to go” and hung up. I jumped out of bed (I was FaceTiming her while laying in bed). I went to tell my boyfriend what was going on. I told him, “Hey- I’m not feeling normal. This isn’t supposed to be happening. I’m not supposed to be feeling this way right now”. I was going from anxiety mode to panic mode. I felt it happening. Except the whole time, I was high out of my mind. Completely, unexpectedly so. In complete and full honesty, I wasn’t associating this right away to the gummy. Because in my mind, I didn’t buy an edible. I bought what I thought was something else. I thought it was just a simple CBD gummy. Something to help me sleep. This couldn’t be causing me to feel this way, right? No. I have to be having a heart attack or something. Something’s wrong with my body. Something’s wrong with my brain. The two are not connecting. I’m phasing in and out. I feel my heart rate begin to rise along with my panic. I have an Apple Watch, and in a moment of clarity (and stupidity) I thought it best to put it on. I needed to check my heart rate. I fully thought I was having a heart attack and this mental detachment I was experiencing was the result of a serious bodily issue rather than the gummy I ingested two hours prior. I put the watch on. Heart rate is at 135. Okay, not terrible but not great. That’s the heart rate of a person who is jogging. That’s the heart rate of a person who is doing an exercise. I’m laying in bed. Why is my heart rate that high? Oh god. I’m feeling terrible. I’m feeling out of my body. My vision is getting darker and I feel like I’m inside my head watching everything happen on the giant movie screen that is my eyes, but I’m not outside of the screen. I’m experiencing this panic, but not in my body. I wish I could explain it better than this. I wish I could have it make sense to the average person. But the reality of it was that I was not experiencing something that you would normally experience unless you were blackout drunk, tripping balls, having a psychotic break, or drugged. Heart rate is creeping up higher and higher. I’m googling what a normal healthy heart rate is for a person of my size and weight (female, 5’2”, 110 lbs, 24 y/o). I read a sentence that says “if your blood pressure exceeds 180 or higher seek immediate medical attention”. I confused heart rate and blood pressure in the whirl of cortisol and adrenaline and fear. I check my watch again. 184 BPM.

Total. Fucking. Panic.

I felt my heart beating OUT of my chest. It felt like what I imagine holding a hummingbird feels like. It wasn’t beating, buzzing. My heart was buzzing. I thought, is this what it feels like to die? Am I going to die, right here, right now, in my bed? 24 years old? I just graduated college. I haven’t even started my first salaried job yet. I haven’t been married. I haven’t had kids. I haven’t bought my first house. I haven’t experienced so many things and I am about to die, right here, right now. My entire body was numb. Pins and needles. I thought: “I am having a heart attack. 184 BPM. My vision is going dark. I am fully going to pass out”. I yelled out for my boyfriend, at this point in the other room. He rushes in. I tell him what’s happening. He begins to panic. Not knowing how to calm me down. He tries to get me to do breathing techniques with him. It’s past the point for that. I told him, I need to go to the hospital. I need to be near a defibrillator in case that’s really what this is, a heart attack. Because I have a better chance of survival if I’m near a machine. If my heart gives out. I’m trying to communicate this as best I can, while being sky high. I can barely speak. He says, “okay we’re gonna go see ___ (our roommate, and a good friend of mine).” And he guides me downstairs. I stand up on my feet. I feel like I’m a thousand feet in the air and yet so incredibly small. We make our way downstairs to our roommates’ room. He knocks, she lets us in. I stumble in like a drowned rat, hair still wet from the shower. I must’ve looked fucking insane. She takes one look at me but I don’t see her face. I don’t process a face on her head. I just see a blur. I’m still panicking. Heart still beating like a hummingbird. I hear them talking in rushed tones but I don’t hear words. It sounds like the Peanut Gallery parents, if you’ve ever watched Charlie Brown movies. Womp womp womp womp womp.

Next thing I know, she hops out of bed and is wrapping me up in a blanket. She runs to her bathroom and grabs a pot of what smells like, lavender lotion? She’s rubbing it on my cheeks and face. I’m sobbing and all I smell is salt from my tears and lavender. She’s talking to me, but I don’t fully hear her. Like when you watch those movies of a person coming-to in the hospital and the faces of the people surrounding them in their hospital bed blur in and out, the voices fade in and out. I hear her ask me what’s going on. I tell her basically everything I wrote here, just now, but I don’t hear myself say it. The synapses in my brain aren’t firing properly. I know I’m doing things, speaking, but I can’t hear what I’m saying. I know I’m sitting here, wrapped in this blanket, but I don’t know where my body ends and the furniture begins. Cause for more anxiety. It feels like a never ending loop of fear and panic and sensory deprivation, or at least sensory overload? Who knows. My sensory experience is not of this Earth. Sitting in this space, in this room, hearing her talk to me, not really knowing what she is saying but knowing there is care behind it, gives me one small pin point of reality to hold onto. One tiny thing to save me from this seemingly endless nightmare. She takes the watch off of me. I hear her tell me I don’t need to be looking at that right now. No wonder my heart rate is through the roof. I’m giving myself a panic attack.

A panic attack. Is that what this is? Am I not having a heart attack? It sure feels like one. I guess they’re pretty similar. I was convinced, CONVINCED, I was dying. But here I was, some while later, wrapped in this burrito blanket in this room, and I was still experiencing things. Even if the experiences were warped and horrifying. It wasn’t death. But what was it then?

And then I remembered that I ate a gummy two hours earlier. I was having a drug induced panic attack. I was never expecting this. I was NEVER expecting this… What the fuck WAS this? It wasn’t normal. It was exactly what I discovered it to be later on, after researching the label of that sampler pack. It was 1000 mg of CBD and delta 8, a FDA-loophole for weed. And I was buckled in for the full fucking ride.

If you’re wondering what was going on with my friend, she was still high. She was experiencing a strong high from that gummy, but we had nowhere near similar experiences. I was on Mars. She, I think, fell asleep a little later on and woke up the next day ready to smoke again. I am amazed at how vastly different our experiences were. I would give anything to have had that kind of experience. I would’ve loved to wake up the next day, head slightly fuzzy, but feeling normal all the same, and been able to conceive of smoking weed. And if we’re being completely honest, I’m so incredibly grateful that she didn’t experience this. I would not wish this on ANY person. It was my fault that I ate that gummy, and I gave her one too. We could’ve both been fucked. At least it’s only me. My burden to carry.

But being alone in it is scary. And guess what. I woke up the next day, not feeling like myself. Not feeling normal. Not feeling present.

And I’ve woken up every day since in a completely altered state of being. I’m obviously here, I’m breathing, I’m trying to do regular tasks that I do every day. But everything feels so much harder. Everything feels fuzzy. My body feels numb. Some days are worse than others, but for the most part, nothing ever feels normal. I’m realizing that what I’m experiencing is DPDR from a drug induced panic attack. And I’ve cried every single day since that fucking day. It’s been a full week and I’m still having a break from reality. I still feel fuzzy, and like my head and my body aren’t connected, and I’m feeling depressed. I have racing thoughts. I can’t think myself out of this. I know it might seem like I’m fully lucid if I’m able to write all of this, but I’m writing this from a dreamlike state of semi-reality. I still don’t feel real, and people and places don’t feel real. Temperature changes send me into a panic. I zone out and realize that I’m not in my head and even when I “come to” I’m still not FULLY zoned in. My ears and head feel clogged, or like they’re full of cotton balls. I want so badly to escape this feeling but no matter what I do, everything feels surreal. I have no sense of time. I cannot process words. Even writing this, I guarantee you that I forgot 80% of it already. I have to reread things several times to make sure they make sense. If I’m watching a television show, I feel like I’m seeing characters talking to each other but not absorbing anything being said. How am I supposed to live like this? I’m so fucking scared. I can’t eat without feeling weird. I can’t sleep without feeling weird. I can’t do anything. I’m supposed to start my new job on Monday, and I have to be fully aware to do my training, and I’m so afraid of failing because I can barely do the bare minimum right now. I’ve considered going to the hospital but what good would that do? They would think I’m having a psychotic break and admit me to a mental hospital, where I’d be surrounded by unfamiliar people and settings, and be unable to leave. And I’d ruin my life. I’d ruin my job opportunity that I spent 6 months post-grad trying to get hired for, and I finally did. I’d ruin my ability to make an income. I’m terrified of ruining my relationships with people right now because I need so much more support from everybody than I ever do. I am so fucking terrified of my life right now because I do not feel real. I convinced myself the other night that I actually died on Saturday and I am not really experiencing any of this. I have anxiety attacks every day now. Little things set me off. I had an anxiety attack at my mom’s today and she is worried about me. Everyone is worried and nobody knows what to do, including me. I cannot live like this. It’s affecting my day to day life in such a strong sense that I can’t do minimal things. Everything frightens me. I just want to feel normal again. So badly. I would do ANYTHING to feel okay again. I just want to be me. Not this shell of a person. I feel like I fucked up my brain.

This isn’t a cry for help. I know realistically there’s nothing that anyone can do. That helplessness has set in. This is just me yelling at the void and hoping it helps me feel something better than this. I want to be real again.